Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Hash #1??? July 19 2011

Scribe - Baldrik

Woke up at 1030 and looked in the mirror and as usual thought why am I an arsehole. Walked down the stairs ensuring not to tread in the shit that someone deposited a week ago. Delivered hare, Tititata to the start via 16 bus and still arrived last after walkers Haggis, Hot Steam, and Ten Minutes Late and runners Giving Head, Hulk, Jaws, Rabies and Stiff Nipples. Caught the metro to Moszkva Tér and then tram 61 replacement bus to old mental hospital. Didn't book into hospital but went to a little cake shop where Hulk and Haggis tucked into cakes while we gave the live hare a head start. We set off in light drizzle up and up, through numerous checks, ending at the viewing tower at Kis-Hárs-hegy. Bit too windy and precarious for me to go to the top, where Rabies described the various buildings including the secret institute to other runners. Then down and up to Nagy-Hárs-hegy less precarious viewing tower. Whilst taking in the views and Rabies describing the wrong hills, a rare event happened, Giving Head who was asking about some road that was missing, admitted to being wrong. Then down to a 24 hour beer stop at Szép Juhászné where met the hare and found a surprising choice of bottled beers. I noted what the nearby harmless alcoholic was drinking (not the hare) and was shocked to only pay 125ft. Is this the cheapest bottled beer in BP? The hare set off and the walkers arrived, Ten minutes late as usual complaining and Haggis generously handing out pogácsas. The runners set off through a rambling forest track and then down where Stiff Nipples spilled his own blood with a dramatic acrobatic gambol (given a 5.8 by Rabies). A few more checks and then onto Nagy-rét Merry-go-round area, then a huge penis on a war memorial, then finishing at the children's railway terminus where they they strangely sell beer. Waited a while for the walkers and then the circle disturbed by the beautiful steam engine (not Hot Steam) with lots of songs and laughter. A nearby caged dog was offered beer and refused. Then all off to a little restaurant where we sat outside and were offered 3 chicken wings with a part removed. Ten Minutes Late seemed to be required by the waitress to hand out food and drink for the rest. Most had pizza, my goose was good and the knuckle looked OK. Then the replacement bus back home. When we got to the Városmajor park Giving Head shouted that we should get off the bus and go for another drink. Luckily it was happy hour for cocktails. Haggis, Hulk and Giving Head ordered an Orgasm and Jaws a margarita. Incidently a cocktail from wikipedia: An Incredible Hulk, a green-coloured cocktail made by equal parts of the fruit liqueur Hpnotiq and Hennessy cognac poured over ice. Lots of jokes about the cocktails especially as Haggis was trying to break up her orgasm ice in a familiar manner. Unfortunately it all turned sour when Jaws was charged the non happy hour price, solved only after the manager gave the reduction saying don't get nervous. Perhaps he'd heard form Il Treno. We all went our separate ways after another fun day out.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

June 5th 2010 - Red Dress Run

I really don’t know how this happened, but I was actually arrived after everybody else at the starting point, which means I get to do the Hash Trash this week. However, as there have been a few contributions already sent in, I’ll just copy them in below and save some of my valuable time;



Giving Head: “It was an excellent, very well designed trail with two beer stops, several views, beautiful weather, great dresses and even greater company. The Hares did a really good job, our RA was even better. So it was very much enjoyable.”



Better Laid Than Never: “That was a fun day with great hares.”



Baldric: “Sorry”



Bang Cock: “I don't think you have anything to be sorry about.”



Peddling Pussy: “So what is left to do? Looking at the mirror in the morning, thinking "why am I an asshole???"



And as a final greeting to the rest of the attendees;



Peddling Pussy: “FUCK YOU ALL”



Well, quite a good overview of the day and not too much I can add to that.



Except, it was a really great Red Dress Run, which took place in and around the Castle District, with a couple of beer stops, good weather and a selection of male Hashers with very bad dress sense, including;



Sex Tax, who looked very pretty in his new red frock, complemented by his fingernails, beautifully varnished in a delicate shade of pink.



Burnt Toast, who had the nicest legs out of the whole group, including the female Hashers, and who looked absolutely stunning in his new dress, with a neckline, which accentuated his under developed, but rapidly developing cleavage, and set off with a little hair band (or in his case head band) with a single flower jauntily placed on the side of his head.



Baldric, with his bright red clingy, tightly-fitting little number, which tended to cling rather too much to some of the more prominent, real of imagined, parts of his body.



Incredible Hulk, who looked even more frightening than usual with his new shade of red mascara, which clashed badly with his rather large boa, which he seemed to be constantly stroking, pulling and wrapping around his neck.



Bang Cock, who looked particularly fetching in his new pink bonnet. The price tag on the back added a certain ‘Je ne sais quoi’ and his dress, with low cut and very revealing neckline, didn’t reveal much at all of his less than ample bosom.



And last but not least, Stiff Nipples, who actually looks better in a dress than he does when he dresses like a man, wore a pretty, summery red and white print design, cut slightly above his knees to show off his shapely legs and other various bits and pieces to maximum effect, especially whenever he did a twirl, which was quite frequently.



We had one visitor from out of town – Cairo to be exact. I believe his name was Cow Piss or perhaps Camel Piss – well, some kind of piss anyway.



Kristzina (I don’t know her hash name) made a very rare appearance and badly insulted me at the first beer stop by telling this German u-boat captain look-alike on our table that I was German. “What makes you think I’m German?” I asked, “Because you speak Dutch”, she said. Oh yeah, I hadn’t thought of that! Very logical!!


She also brought along her dog, Ernie, who incredibly has 2 different coloured eyes, just like his owner.



At our second beer stop outside a disused railway carriage kind of restaurant opposite Deli p.u. we managed to basically occupy the whole terrace section, except for one table in the corner where 4 German visitors were sitting down to eat a nice quiet, peaceful Sunday lunch and wishing that they had gone somewhere else where they wouldn’t be surrounded by a group of noisy, anti-social, obviously Communist, beer swilling psychopathic cross dressing Untermenschen. Oh dear, how sad, never mind and we look forward to welcoming you again to our beautiful Lebensraum im Osten.



From there, we went on for lunch to Moskva ter, which isn’t called Moskva ter any longer, but I prefer Moskva ter because I can remember Moskva ter much easier than the new name, which I can’t remember, but I’m certain that everybody reading this will know where Moskva ter is, even if they don’t call it Moskva ter any more.



We ended up in Il Treno, where there was some kind of beer drinking incident, which I unfortunately missed due to prostate issues and which upset the waitress, resulting in Baldric watering the plants with his beer, promptly evacuating the area and, as I am reliable informed, causing him to look in the mirror the next morning and think to himself, “why am I an asshole???”



All in all a rather interesting Red Dress Run. Can't wait for the next one.



OnOn

10 Minutes Late