Showing posts with label naming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naming. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
June 3rd - #850 Vitorlázórepűlő-tér and HHH
Hares: Wash and Blow w/Baldric and St. Anus
10 Hashers gathered to celebrate an auspicious occasion – the 850th BHHH Run. OK, the purists amongst you may point out that chronologically, the actual auspicious occasion fell on the previous Sunday but due to low attendance, with Hashers having more pressing matters to attend to like grooming the goldfish; early Christmas shopping or in the case of Pussy Willow and Sextax, trying not to wake up to see the wardrobe moving around the bedroom and slurring ‘I’m never going to drink ever again’, revised later in the day to ‘yes, but only a small one’, was postponed until today.
Proceedings began with the solemn ritual of breaking and sharing pogacsa from the best bakery in Budapest. Not a long standing ritual admittedly, this being the first time, but even long standing rituals had to start sometime. The group not traveling in Nata’s car then walked to Moszkva Ter to get the no. 56 tram to Huvosvolgy. Hashers gathered in the car park, where St. Anus was recruited by Run by Battery to help her carry the flowers she had bought from the nearby Garden Centre. Our collective curiosity at just how many flowers she had bought that needed two people to carry was soon dispelled by the sight of two walking bushes coming into view. Rabies, Baldric & Sheila elected to run, with St Anus and Sextax reluctantly agreeing to run/walk, thus undertaking the vital link between walkers and runners.
Unusually for BPHHH, the first obstacle turned out to be an
aircraft runway, an item that the hares had completely ignored as they laid the trail. However, displaying true hash commonsense, and as we are all adults, the simple solution of closing our eyes and dashing across seemed perfectly sensible, so we did.
On a practical note for future hashes, when flour can mysteriously disappear between trail laying and the run, Pussy Willows suggestion of using arrows composed of sheep shit will always come in useful.
After a series of encounters with paragliding folk, some of whom were quite frankly just showing off, and near vertical cliff paths, we found ourselves at
Harmashatar-hegy, with magnificent views across the city. More importantly, the beer stop was located nearby, which on this occasion served as a lunch stop as well. Baldric continued to experience his sad delusions of being chased by randy buxom waitresses and his claims were met with knowing looks and a quick change of subject.
Excellent Hungarian fare, with lashings of goulash soup and cold Dreher, kept the group quiet for a few minutes until Nora started playing with Baldric’s sausage and relating the story about how it was found in Krakow and has since been brought out and photographed at various international beauty spots – it all seemed very unlikely but we listened attentively and nodded sagely, only temporarily distracted by the arrival of 20 young lyrca clad cyclists, their miserable demeanour probably accounted for by the time and care they took sitting down.
We left the restaurant with Rabies digesting his 25 slices of fat bread and St. Anus bidding a fond
farewell to his new pet, Gary the Grasshopper. Gary had undergone a photo shoot by St. Anus and Baldric who used their mighty macro technology to capture the colour of Gary’s eyes. Childish antics ensued whilst Sextax left the group to use the restaurant’s ‘facilities’ with Hashers hiding. Sadly, few items of furniture managed to conceal some Hasher’s body parts and a cry of ‘you bastards’ affectionately fell from Sextax’s lips.
The walk back to the car park was much quicker on account of a following wind (no comment!) and the fact that it was mostly downhill. The circle formed, minus Rabies, who had gone AWOL, probably sleeping off the fat bread in a field somewhere. The RA’s concern for his whereabouts and his desire to wait for his return before starting proceedings was most touching, but
the overall view of the group was that the minute we had already been waiting was long enough to delay the consumption of beer and Nora’s naming ceremony.
Two virgins, Rachel and Sheila were duly welcomed and Nora accepted her Hash name – Wash and Blow, with great dignity, reassured by Pussy Willow that it referred to her long felt desire to be a hairdresser and not a result of any scurrilous rumours that may have been circulating recently. Just before the circle closed, it was realised that Sextax had escaped a Down Down, so a new category of offense, being a ‘goody goody’, was created. Sextax, aka Pops or Silver Fox 
accepted his penalty graciously despite St. Anus making it clear that Silver Fox referred to the vermin rather than to dashing good looks.
As auspicious occasions go, this was up there with the best but Hashers, it can never be too early to start making plans for our 900th gathering.
OnOn
Your Scribes – Pussy Willow & Sextax
Here is a Link to Photos
-------
Hares: Wash and Blow w/Baldric and St. Anus
Pack: Rabies, Sextax, Pussy Willow, Run By Battery, Smokey Donkey, NFG Shelia & Rachel
10 Hashers gathered to celebrate an auspicious occasion – the 850th BHHH Run. OK, the purists amongst you may point out that chronologically, the actual auspicious occasion fell on the previous Sunday but due to low attendance, with Hashers having more pressing matters to attend to like grooming the goldfish; early Christmas shopping or in the case of Pussy Willow and Sextax, trying not to wake up to see the wardrobe moving around the bedroom and slurring ‘I’m never going to drink ever again’, revised later in the day to ‘yes, but only a small one’, was postponed until today.
Proceedings began with the solemn ritual of breaking and sharing pogacsa from the best bakery in Budapest. Not a long standing ritual admittedly, this being the first time, but even long standing rituals had to start sometime. The group not traveling in Nata’s car then walked to Moszkva Ter to get the no. 56 tram to Huvosvolgy. Hashers gathered in the car park, where St. Anus was recruited by Run by Battery to help her carry the flowers she had bought from the nearby Garden Centre. Our collective curiosity at just how many flowers she had bought that needed two people to carry was soon dispelled by the sight of two walking bushes coming into view. Rabies, Baldric & Sheila elected to run, with St Anus and Sextax reluctantly agreeing to run/walk, thus undertaking the vital link between walkers and runners.Unusually for BPHHH, the first obstacle turned out to be an
aircraft runway, an item that the hares had completely ignored as they laid the trail. However, displaying true hash commonsense, and as we are all adults, the simple solution of closing our eyes and dashing across seemed perfectly sensible, so we did.On a practical note for future hashes, when flour can mysteriously disappear between trail laying and the run, Pussy Willows suggestion of using arrows composed of sheep shit will always come in useful.
After a series of encounters with paragliding folk, some of whom were quite frankly just showing off, and near vertical cliff paths, we found ourselves at
Harmashatar-hegy, with magnificent views across the city. More importantly, the beer stop was located nearby, which on this occasion served as a lunch stop as well. Baldric continued to experience his sad delusions of being chased by randy buxom waitresses and his claims were met with knowing looks and a quick change of subject.Excellent Hungarian fare, with lashings of goulash soup and cold Dreher, kept the group quiet for a few minutes until Nora started playing with Baldric’s sausage and relating the story about how it was found in Krakow and has since been brought out and photographed at various international beauty spots – it all seemed very unlikely but we listened attentively and nodded sagely, only temporarily distracted by the arrival of 20 young lyrca clad cyclists, their miserable demeanour probably accounted for by the time and care they took sitting down.
We left the restaurant with Rabies digesting his 25 slices of fat bread and St. Anus bidding a fond
farewell to his new pet, Gary the Grasshopper. Gary had undergone a photo shoot by St. Anus and Baldric who used their mighty macro technology to capture the colour of Gary’s eyes. Childish antics ensued whilst Sextax left the group to use the restaurant’s ‘facilities’ with Hashers hiding. Sadly, few items of furniture managed to conceal some Hasher’s body parts and a cry of ‘you bastards’ affectionately fell from Sextax’s lips.The walk back to the car park was much quicker on account of a following wind (no comment!) and the fact that it was mostly downhill. The circle formed, minus Rabies, who had gone AWOL, probably sleeping off the fat bread in a field somewhere. The RA’s concern for his whereabouts and his desire to wait for his return before starting proceedings was most touching, but
the overall view of the group was that the minute we had already been waiting was long enough to delay the consumption of beer and Nora’s naming ceremony.
Two virgins, Rachel and Sheila were duly welcomed and Nora accepted her Hash name – Wash and Blow, with great dignity, reassured by Pussy Willow that it referred to her long felt desire to be a hairdresser and not a result of any scurrilous rumours that may have been circulating recently. Just before the circle closed, it was realised that Sextax had escaped a Down Down, so a new category of offense, being a ‘goody goody’, was created. Sextax, aka Pops or Silver Fox 
accepted his penalty graciously despite St. Anus making it clear that Silver Fox referred to the vermin rather than to dashing good looks.As auspicious occasions go, this was up there with the best but Hashers, it can never be too early to start making plans for our 900th gathering.
OnOn
Your Scribes – Pussy Willow & Sextax
Here is a Link to Photos
-------
Hares: Wash and Blow w/Baldric and St. Anus
Pack: Rabies, Sextax, Pussy Willow, Run By Battery, Smokey Donkey, NFG Shelia & Rachel
Sunday, May 13, 2007
May 13th - #848 Csillebérc
Hares: NFG Nora and St.Anus (psosd) (Route)
Scribe: Bursting Bladder
Appearances receded
somehow for run 848 where only 8 hashers turned out. Hares were Nora and fortunately Stanus who covered for her in her absence. The good part is we could do with two cars and set off to the parking lot behind Csillaberc.
It was a beautiful day apart from we had to pass two car wrecks
where at least one of them had been speeding. Passing such things takes time in Hungary, but in the end we arrived and took off to a trail well marked, that is the falsies were.
As usual there were two groups, the walkers and the, let us say, fast walkers, fortunate enough to have the hare among them, the others "among them" beeing Non-smokey Donkey (Sic!) BB and the Incredible who
actually ran now and then. Whether it was their cheerful talking or BB´s irregular hooting that disturbed the activity of a peeping tom, we don´t know, but he ordered them in not exactly her Majesty´s English to "shut up", which of course made them very quiet.
After having studied the broken wing of an
unfortunate plane, clearly explained as Repülés emlékmü, the slow walkers caught up. These were Haggish, Ten Minutes Late, Thomas (?)- FNG and, from now on Mama San. They were giwen poofters´ directions by Stanus and and the brisk walkers took on climbing Szekréoyes hegy with an abandoned launching ramp for gliders. They still get up though, as we saw four of them circling above Vitorlazórepülö tér. (You know where that is, don´t you?) From here it was plain sailing, down-hill past an apparently closed equestrian center and back to the parking lot, by and large avoiding the excellent road covering this distance.
Hulk was speeding ahead with keys for the amber to quelch the thirst of the walkers th
at were assumed having arrived by shortcutting. It turned out they had not. By intense use of technology they were located in Nagyszenászug - the opposite direction of what thy were told to go. Astronomy simply explaned, i.e. the sun´s position did not help, and Hulk set up a rescue expedition. Within smelling range of him they decided to take a different route however - and after one hour´s waiting we could ascertain that no one was missing.
That is the Donkey had left for family busines but on the other hand was substitued by Rabies, who during the waiting - actually substantially less - had taken himself and his push-bike to the hill by raw muscle power, for the circle and the on inn.
Due to foregoing procrastination the circle was made short and sweet without virgins, visitors, newcomers, announcements or returnees. There was a Japanese though, and midst a lot of charming suggestions for names she was
given the honourable name of Mama San with appropriate amounts of flour and beer added. Whether this made her decide not to join us for lunch, we don´t know, but she did not when Rabies led us to the Jokai Klub where we had lunch and an impromptu Mis Management Meeting.
Here is the link to Incredible Hulk's photos
Here is the link to Stanus's photos
Scribe: Bursting Bladder
Appearances recededsomehow for run 848 where only 8 hashers turned out. Hares were Nora and fortunately Stanus who covered for her in her absence. The good part is we could do with two cars and set off to the parking lot behind Csillaberc.
It was a beautiful day apart from we had to pass two car wrecks
where at least one of them had been speeding. Passing such things takes time in Hungary, but in the end we arrived and took off to a trail well marked, that is the falsies were.As usual there were two groups, the walkers and the, let us say, fast walkers, fortunate enough to have the hare among them, the others "among them" beeing Non-smokey Donkey (Sic!) BB and the Incredible who
actually ran now and then. Whether it was their cheerful talking or BB´s irregular hooting that disturbed the activity of a peeping tom, we don´t know, but he ordered them in not exactly her Majesty´s English to "shut up", which of course made them very quiet.After having studied the broken wing of an
unfortunate plane, clearly explained as Repülés emlékmü, the slow walkers caught up. These were Haggish, Ten Minutes Late, Thomas (?)- FNG and, from now on Mama San. They were giwen poofters´ directions by Stanus and and the brisk walkers took on climbing Szekréoyes hegy with an abandoned launching ramp for gliders. They still get up though, as we saw four of them circling above Vitorlazórepülö tér. (You know where that is, don´t you?) From here it was plain sailing, down-hill past an apparently closed equestrian center and back to the parking lot, by and large avoiding the excellent road covering this distance.Hulk was speeding ahead with keys for the amber to quelch the thirst of the walkers th
at were assumed having arrived by shortcutting. It turned out they had not. By intense use of technology they were located in Nagyszenászug - the opposite direction of what thy were told to go. Astronomy simply explaned, i.e. the sun´s position did not help, and Hulk set up a rescue expedition. Within smelling range of him they decided to take a different route however - and after one hour´s waiting we could ascertain that no one was missing.
That is the Donkey had left for family busines but on the other hand was substitued by Rabies, who during the waiting - actually substantially less - had taken himself and his push-bike to the hill by raw muscle power, for the circle and the on inn.Due to foregoing procrastination the circle was made short and sweet without virgins, visitors, newcomers, announcements or returnees. There was a Japanese though, and midst a lot of charming suggestions for names she was
given the honourable name of Mama San with appropriate amounts of flour and beer added. Whether this made her decide not to join us for lunch, we don´t know, but she did not when Rabies led us to the Jokai Klub where we had lunch and an impromptu Mis Management Meeting.Here is the link to Stanus's photos
Sunday, April 29, 2007
April 22th - #845 HármasHatárHegy (HHH)
Hares: Cunning Linguist & St. Anus
(Patron Saint of Smoking Donkeys)
(Patron Saint of Smoking Donkeys)
HASH 845 - Sunday 22 April 2007
The long uphill start soon saw BB relegated from runner to walker although he remained as ‘horny’ as ever throughout the day. Runners and walkers arrived at the top with only one missing hasher, Lazy Fucker, having lived up to his name by retiring with back trouble during the ascent. Views of
A brief tour of gun emplacements followed before an unexplained and almost unheard of event split the pack, with BB, St. Anus, Sex Tax, Hulk, Aggie and Andy heading for the beer stop whilst
Runners then set off on the trail again whilst Aggie and ST took the leisurely route back to the cars. Meanwhile the walkers had been having a bit of ‘retail therapy’ as The Dyke and Smokey Donkey traded last season’s haberdashery, ready for the 2007 ‘uj kolletion’. Hashers united in the circle, the major events being a Rabies-style lesson on the do’s and don’ts of trail laying – destructive criticism delivered in a quiet, caring and considerate way!
A hash-naming is always an important event and Aggie duly received her name of Haggis accompanied by copious amounts of flour and beer with her hair taking on the consistency of dough. Sad news of the departure from Budapest of Lazy Fucker led to a sentimental and heart-felt chorus of ‘fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off’ to the strains of Auld Lang Syne.
Those going for lunch decamped to the Trombitas pub on Moszkva Ter via the best bakery in
Sex Tax and Pussy Willow
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
April 1st - #842 Nagy/KisKevely - April Fools’ Day
Hares: Bald run (Hare-less)
I went to the meeting place (Batthyany ter square, as always) with my car this time, yet I was arriving late, actually for the last. Accordingly, I was picked to write the report on the run. Here you are.
On the previous Sunday hash there were too many hashers and not enough cars. This time it went just the opposite way; there were too many cars and not enough hashers, so I could leave my Suzuki at the car-park of the meeting place.
Mismanagement Committee did their best again, no hares were assigned and no trail was laid on Fools’ Day, of course. Finally, Bursting Bladder came up with the idea to run up to the Nagykevely peak of the Pilis mountains, from the quarry nearby the village of Csobanka. The directions given directly by Bursting Bladder were fit for a hash Grand Master of his multitude, absolutely useless, I mean. By mistake the walkers first climbed the Kiskevely (“Little Pride”) instead of the Nagykevely
(“Huge Pride”), for instance. The runners got also lost several times in the maze of tourists, trails and caves.
At the end of the day the pack came together on the correct peak, the “Huge Pride”, admiring the great views around and the private huge pride of Incredible Hulk. Hulk tied his waist around his waist in a way implicating to have a constant erection. “Things like that make Hulk really Incredible!” admitted Agi, Hulk’s dear one with a blush.
Agi somehow managed again to escape the naming ceremony during the afterhash circle ritual. Liam (?) was not so lucky. Despite of being pretty fresh in BH3, he was baptized on the spot, without mercy. His new hash name is “Saint Anus” from now on. It has also something to do with beetles called “szentjanosbogar” in Hungarian, although this is the local name of firebug, an insect not visible in this season at all. Yes, RA Smokey Donkey has mixed up everything again, as usually. The riddle remains unsolved forever, unless one of you can debug it for me.
“If you go to hash baptizing, make sure to wear some flour in your hand!” This was sung when we all assisted the naming ceremony. Too bad, but all cameras broke down, no pictures could be made on this hash. You have to believe my witness alone; flour with beer show well on blond hair too.
*Editor’s notes:This time the editor and the scribe is the same person: Yours Sincerely OnOn, Rabies, the official local old fart.
I went to the meeting place (Batthyany ter square, as always) with my car this time, yet I was arriving late, actually for the last. Accordingly, I was picked to write the report on the run. Here you are.On the previous Sunday hash there were too many hashers and not enough cars. This time it went just the opposite way; there were too many cars and not enough hashers, so I could leave my Suzuki at the car-park of the meeting place.
Mismanagement Committee did their best again, no hares were assigned and no trail was laid on Fools’ Day, of course. Finally, Bursting Bladder came up with the idea to run up to the Nagykevely peak of the Pilis mountains, from the quarry nearby the village of Csobanka. The directions given directly by Bursting Bladder were fit for a hash Grand Master of his multitude, absolutely useless, I mean. By mistake the walkers first climbed the Kiskevely (“Little Pride”) instead of the Nagykevely
(“Huge Pride”), for instance. The runners got also lost several times in the maze of tourists, trails and caves.
At the end of the day the pack came together on the correct peak, the “Huge Pride”, admiring the great views around and the private huge pride of Incredible Hulk. Hulk tied his waist around his waist in a way implicating to have a constant erection. “Things like that make Hulk really Incredible!” admitted Agi, Hulk’s dear one with a blush.Agi somehow managed again to escape the naming ceremony during the afterhash circle ritual. Liam (?) was not so lucky. Despite of being pretty fresh in BH3, he was baptized on the spot, without mercy. His new hash name is “Saint Anus” from now on. It has also something to do with beetles called “szentjanosbogar” in Hungarian, although this is the local name of firebug, an insect not visible in this season at all. Yes, RA Smokey Donkey has mixed up everything again, as usually. The riddle remains unsolved forever, unless one of you can debug it for me.
“If you go to hash baptizing, make sure to wear some flour in your hand!” This was sung when we all assisted the naming ceremony. Too bad, but all cameras broke down, no pictures could be made on this hash. You have to believe my witness alone; flour with beer show well on blond hair too.
*Editor’s notes:This time the editor and the scribe is the same person: Yours Sincerely OnOn, Rabies, the official local old fart.
Monday, March 26, 2007
March 25th - #841 Buda Hills
Hares: Incredible Hulk and Ági.
There was much potential for this run to go wrong. The day before had been rainy and cold. The time-change happened Saturday night, and some hashers woke at 10:00, with plenty of time to make the hash, then realized it was actually 11:00. There was a shortage of vehicles.
But the morning of run 841 dawned sunny and bright, the hash waited by Battyany tér until everyone showed up, 10 Minutes Late helped with an extra car to get up into the hills of Buda, and we were on-on!
The run started straight up-hill along the roads, then into a trail in a nature preserve (which we entered without permit). We wound through hill and dale and tiny dirt roads for quite a while, then up past the houses of Buda. The day was gorgeous and the views were good all along, but at a particularly good view we stopped to admire. Silly pictures and possibly movies were taken, and there was a traditional hash performance of "Brother Abraham!"
We followed the tricky trail back down through hill and dale, and came back to the cars. We moved into the parking lot of a high school for the circle -- the security guard eyed us suspiciously, but decided that chasing us off would be too much trouble.
The circle was full of boozy good cheer. Hulk and Ági were given down-downs as hares. Three Times a Weenie, and Mona (see below) were given down-downs as visitors. Just Nitu was awarded a down-down as the sole virgin, and wondered what she had gotten herself into. Lehel, Zsuzsa, and French Maid were given down-downs as returnees, and it was on the religious portion of the circle.
Some of the usual penalties were assessed: Trigamist was a SCB (Short-Cutting Bastard). It was
decided that Smoking Donkey was really walking too fast, and he was therefore down-downed for being FWB (Front Walking Bastard). Technology on trail was trouble for many: Lehel, French Maid and Nata for phones, Nitu and Hulk for digital cameras. Hash gear was also a problem for many -- most of the circle was in for no hash gear, and the singing of "down-down-down-down" was markedly weak. Lehel drank slowly enough for an entire chorus of "why are we waiting" to be sung. Smoking Donkey and Three Times a Weenie were called into the circle for abusing alcohol by dumping beer on him. Many additional penalties were assessed, and no one left with dry lips (although Cheezy Balls tried.)
Finally, naming's were discussed. It was decided that it was far overdue for Lehel to be named. He looks a little bit like a leprechaun, and:
------------------------------------------------------------------
A tall man is in the mens room using the facilities. A short guy, about knee high, comes in and pulls up a stool, and starts taking a pee too. The tall guy keeps looking over his shoulder. The little guy says, "What the hell are you looking at?" and the tall guy replies, "Well, for you being such a short little guy, you have an awfully big pecker on you!"
"Well," says the short guy, "Of course I do. I am a leprechaun, and I can have anything I wish for!"
"A leprechaun, you say? Does that mean you can give me any thing I wish for?!" asks the tall man.
"Well, yes, but I am a gay leprechaun, so I'll want a favor in return," says the short guy.
After thinking, the tall guy says, "Alright then. I want a million dollars, a brand new mansion, and 2 brand new Porsches!"
"Fine!" says the short guy, "its all yours! But first I want you to pull your pants down, bend over and grab your ankles!"
So, the guy does it, and the short guy climbs back up on the stool, and really gives it to him! The guy is just moaning. The short guy says, "So tell me, What is your name?" The tall guy moans, and stomping his feet, he says, "My name is Bruce....."
"Bruce? How old are you?" asks the short guy.
Stomping his feet even harder, he moans, "I'm 32!"
The short guy says, "Bruce? You're 32 and you still believe in Leprechauns?!"
------------------------------------------------------------
But he's a cyclist, and so we named him Flat Tired. (This turned out to be very appropriate!) Flour and beer were liberally dabbed on, and the hash baptism was complete.
Zsuzsa has also hashed for a long time without a name. As she works for Borsodi, we discussed some beer-themed names. We recalled that good beer has great head, so we named her Gives Head. Since it had gotten colder since L�hel's naming, Zsuzsa was baptized with flour alone.
Additional naming possibilities were discussed. Nitu looked like Pocahontas, so Poke-Her-Hontas was a good possibility, but she was let off the hook on account of it being her first hash. Mona claimed not to remember her second hash name (having already forgotten the
first). Since she's swedish and likes smelly rotten fish, Smells Like Fish was suggested, but she was let off with a promise to name her with triple beer and flour the next time she's in town without a name! Three Times A Weenie was down-downed for having been acting RA at her naming hash and having forgotten her name as well. It was noted that Ági is due for a naming, but no good ideas were proffered, and the naming was deferred. Ági, start doing more silly things on the hash, so we have fodder to name you! For example, a friend was named Pussy Pong after getting a ping-pong ball stuck "down there." Start living up to her example!
We then went on to a restaurant whose name I forget for Hungarian food and much much wine. Possibly due to the wine, I've forgotten more than just the restaurant name, but a boozy good time was had by all.
There was much potential for this run to go wrong. The day before had been rainy and cold. The time-change happened Saturday night, and some hashers woke at 10:00, with plenty of time to make the hash, then realized it was actually 11:00. There was a shortage of vehicles.
But the morning of run 841 dawned sunny and bright, the hash waited by Battyany tér until everyone showed up, 10 Minutes Late helped with an extra car to get up into the hills of Buda, and we were on-on!
The run started straight up-hill along the roads, then into a trail in a nature preserve (which we entered without permit). We wound through hill and dale and tiny dirt roads for quite a while, then up past the houses of Buda. The day was gorgeous and the views were good all along, but at a particularly good view we stopped to admire. Silly pictures and possibly movies were taken, and there was a traditional hash performance of "Brother Abraham!"We followed the tricky trail back down through hill and dale, and came back to the cars. We moved into the parking lot of a high school for the circle -- the security guard eyed us suspiciously, but decided that chasing us off would be too much trouble.
The circle was full of boozy good cheer. Hulk and Ági were given down-downs as hares. Three Times a Weenie, and Mona (see below) were given down-downs as visitors. Just Nitu was awarded a down-down as the sole virgin, and wondered what she had gotten herself into. Lehel, Zsuzsa, and French Maid were given down-downs as returnees, and it was on the religious portion of the circle.
Some of the usual penalties were assessed: Trigamist was a SCB (Short-Cutting Bastard). It was
decided that Smoking Donkey was really walking too fast, and he was therefore down-downed for being FWB (Front Walking Bastard). Technology on trail was trouble for many: Lehel, French Maid and Nata for phones, Nitu and Hulk for digital cameras. Hash gear was also a problem for many -- most of the circle was in for no hash gear, and the singing of "down-down-down-down" was markedly weak. Lehel drank slowly enough for an entire chorus of "why are we waiting" to be sung. Smoking Donkey and Three Times a Weenie were called into the circle for abusing alcohol by dumping beer on him. Many additional penalties were assessed, and no one left with dry lips (although Cheezy Balls tried.)Finally, naming's were discussed. It was decided that it was far overdue for Lehel to be named. He looks a little bit like a leprechaun, and:
------------------------------------------------------------------
A tall man is in the mens room using the facilities. A short guy, about knee high, comes in and pulls up a stool, and starts taking a pee too. The tall guy keeps looking over his shoulder. The little guy says, "What the hell are you looking at?" and the tall guy replies, "Well, for you being such a short little guy, you have an awfully big pecker on you!"
"Well," says the short guy, "Of course I do. I am a leprechaun, and I can have anything I wish for!"
"A leprechaun, you say? Does that mean you can give me any thing I wish for?!" asks the tall man.
"Well, yes, but I am a gay leprechaun, so I'll want a favor in return," says the short guy.
After thinking, the tall guy says, "Alright then. I want a million dollars, a brand new mansion, and 2 brand new Porsches!"
"Fine!" says the short guy, "its all yours! But first I want you to pull your pants down, bend over and grab your ankles!"
So, the guy does it, and the short guy climbs back up on the stool, and really gives it to him! The guy is just moaning. The short guy says, "So tell me, What is your name?" The tall guy moans, and stomping his feet, he says, "My name is Bruce....."
"Bruce? How old are you?" asks the short guy.
Stomping his feet even harder, he moans, "I'm 32!"
The short guy says, "Bruce? You're 32 and you still believe in Leprechauns?!"
------------------------------------------------------------
But he's a cyclist, and so we named him Flat Tired. (This turned out to be very appropriate!) Flour and beer were liberally dabbed on, and the hash baptism was complete.Zsuzsa has also hashed for a long time without a name. As she works for Borsodi, we discussed some beer-themed names. We recalled that good beer has great head, so we named her Gives Head. Since it had gotten colder since L�hel's naming, Zsuzsa was baptized with flour alone.
Additional naming possibilities were discussed. Nitu looked like Pocahontas, so Poke-Her-Hontas was a good possibility, but she was let off the hook on account of it being her first hash. Mona claimed not to remember her second hash name (having already forgotten the
first). Since she's swedish and likes smelly rotten fish, Smells Like Fish was suggested, but she was let off with a promise to name her with triple beer and flour the next time she's in town without a name! Three Times A Weenie was down-downed for having been acting RA at her naming hash and having forgotten her name as well. It was noted that Ági is due for a naming, but no good ideas were proffered, and the naming was deferred. Ági, start doing more silly things on the hash, so we have fodder to name you! For example, a friend was named Pussy Pong after getting a ping-pong ball stuck "down there." Start living up to her example!
We then went on to a restaurant whose name I forget for Hungarian food and much much wine. Possibly due to the wine, I've forgotten more than just the restaurant name, but a boozy good time was had by all.
Flat Tired fell asleep halfway through the meal, and was allowed to snore peacefully, although we did take incriminating photos of him. Smoking Donkey ordered so much wine, that they ran out of the one we were working on. He tried to bargain the price of the more expensive wine they suggested substituting, but the waitress pointed out that it was a restaurant, and not a market.Friendly rivalry went on between the Swedes and Danes. The Swedes came out ahead -- Smoking Donkey pointed out that, while, the Danes open people with open arms, the Swedes welcome them with open legs, which made us want to go to Sweden a lot more than Denmark.
Finally, after much additional BSing, we spilled out of the restaurant, did a quick round of the hash hymn on the roadside, and poured ourselves into cars. We fit 16 people into two cars, but
fortunately the police were eating pogacsas when we drove past the station and left us alone.
Russ Woodroofe - 3x a Weenie
------
Hulk's Photo Gallery
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
March 18th - #840 St. Paddy's Day
Hares: BangCock & Linda
Through some miscalculation of time I find myself anointed with the task of reporting on the recent Hash this past Sunday. It is with some annoyance that I write this account as it will primarily benefit those either too lame to get to the Hash or others who have given other worldly activities a priority both of which deserve a ribald tune at the least. None the less, on on with the lamentations.The day began with a group of 13 hardy souls gathering at the blustering precipice some time after the appointed hour (yours truly included). This was suppose to be a St. Patrick’s day run with a prominent display of green hash gear. Some actually showed up in something green, other adorned themselves with a few sprinkles of green color and a few just blew off the whole idea.
The hares set a trial in the hills of Normafu*, apparently having heard about it the week before and too cerebrally handicapped to find a different venue. Thus we arrived at familiar grounds
and, to our astonishment set off in a direction different from last week. The trail and route selected by the days Hares proved to be more fitting to a goat than either walking or running on only two limbs. So treacherous was the way, that one of our numbers abandoned the outing and retreated to never-neverland. Thus reduced to 12 the group made its way down canyons, over ridges and through craggy rock laden rabbit runs to arrive at the bottom of the mountain, and the end the run.The group was equally astonished to discover that the end of the run was several kilometers from the starting point where, was left all manner of personal belongings and the BEER.
However an energetic pair of resourceful Hashers ventured back to the cars through the airways and on foot returning with the refreshments. The Hash circle included the usual verbal abuse of the Hares, particularly for bringing us on a one-way route. Following that, there was a salute and recognition to 2 new virgins, one of which claimed to have actually run before, but I doubt it.The highlight of the circle proved to be the naming of Linda. She was sent off to distant lands while the now beer laden group debated over the proper name with which to baptize Linda as a true Hasher. After several rounds of
nominations and votes a decision was achieved (odd). Summoned back to the circle, Linda was made to kneel and receive the ceremonious dousing of beer and floor**. As she bent forward for the procedure we were treated to the site of a chartreuse waste band, upon which some uncouth Hashers cast gobs of flour. In a brief instant the white powder immediately slide past the waistband to nether regions below. Thus anointed it was professed that Linda shall forthwith and ever after be known to all Hashers throughout the known world and beyond as Cunning Linguist. Yes that’s right, lets say that again but not too fast. CUNNING LINGUIST.As the poor girl was allowed to rise we noticed a profusion of tiny white beer muffins cascading down her Chestnut locks. This sight only stimulated our thoughts about what became of the floor that was now firmly entrenched in that nether region beyond the chartreuse waistband. Being rather fond of backsides, I had several illuminating thoughts myself about its circumstance, none of which I dare state here.
At the close of the circle the group retreated to the adjoining eatery for a meal
and what else, more beer. Although filling the food was less palatable than previous visits to this same establishment, although rumor has it that it gets better in the summer when the construction sawdust has had a chance to clear.Thank you for reading and in hopes of not repeating this process, I will endeavor to arrive promptly at future hashes. Yours truly, Andy aka (seeking a new name***) Cheeseyballs
Hulk's Hash Flash
Editor’s (Rabies) notes:
*What a splendid spelling, indeed worth for a first class local language-torture medal. Congratulations, Cheesy Balls!
**After all, was it floor, or flour, or flower?
***Are you surely seeking a new name??? I have never heard of anybody being any happier with his/her new hash name as with the previous one…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
