Sept 7th - Hash #909

Hare : Cheesy Balls
Scribe: Oral Orgasm



We had a fairly short Hash today, starting off at our usual meeting spot, then taking a tram towards our final destination of Budafok. Cheesy Balls earned his name again today because he must have found the cheesiest and trashiest trail he could, laying a trail through garbage mounds, railway tracks and some other areas where I would not want to be during the night. Our model, Nata, was kind enough to pose with some of the garbage. Ten minutes later and halfway to our destination, having viewed some road kill, we found ourselves at our first beer stop, a little place called Pistaneni Sorozo, where we drank our first refreshment of the day (well, for some it was the first of the day) and dined on tastefully presented peanuts.

After waiting and waiting for Wash and Blow, Baldric and Jaws to come out of the washroom (why did they all go at the same time and why did they take so long?), we made a short jaunt to the Wine Festival in Budafok. After sampling some good ol’ deep fried Hungarian food and drinking wine and champagne, we hiked up a hill to our down down winery. However, when the runners got there, they were told that the winery was closed. Now, Cheesy Balls did say that he drank a lot of and went to a number of places on Saturday, so he must have forgotten to ask whether or not they were open on Sunday and what time they closed. It’s a good thing that the owners took pity on us and “allowed” us to buy several bottles of their fermented grape juice.

During our circle, our RA did a very good job in getting us to drink a lot of wine but was unable to keep control of his drunken brood. It’s a good thing he’s bald because if he wasn’t, he would have been pulling his hair out. When we FINALLY finished our circle, we stumbled our way down the hill to a recommended restaurant called Istvan Tatany. There, we settled our bones to listen to a Hungarian man singing and playing the keyboard. He was so good, that some of us felt inspired to join him. I decided to accompany him by doing my Muslim women’s cry of LALALALALALALA. He seemed to enjoy my addition because his hair almost stood on end. Then Wash and Blow stole the microphone and sang a song and made funny noises. After much dancing, falling on the ground, hiding behind aprons and doing a great rendition of a Hash song, we left the restaurant, to the sorrow of some of the Hungarian patrons.

When we reached the street, some of our party had disappeared into parts unknown (did they go somewhere else to drink more wine?). Six of us took the tram back, where we continued our appreciated talents by singing Yellow Submarine, but changing these two words to “yellow tram” in Hungarian. Our fellow travelers enjoyed our singing very much and were sad to get off. At Moszkva Ter, some die hearts resumed their merriment at the Moszkva Ter Café.

OnOn Oral Orgasm (that means orgasms in my mouth)

July 29nd - Hash #858 Rozsa Domb

Hares: GMs SexTax & PussyWillow

The 29th day of July opened with a gleaming sun, radiating from a bright blue sky. To the north a smattering of wispy clouds, to the south a cover of white and grey met the horizon. A moderate balmy breeze blew across the Danube to fan an assembly of 16 Hashers for run number 867, (or somewhere thereabouts), marking the last and final Hash for BB and The Dyke as residents of Budapest. After an exchange of greetings, brief in my case as a result of tardiness, the usually disorganized chaos ensued concerning the groups transit to the starting point for the days run. The Hare pair, Sex Tax and Pussy Willow led the mounted charge, combining bus and car, towards the elevated environs of Budapest’s third district.

Upon arrival, the group not so quickly divided into almost equal numbers of runners and walking and set out upon a wooded trail. With Sex Tax guiding all running and Pussy Willow herding the walkers we soon emerged from a trail to the paved streets of the District. The course laid by the Hares included an interesting combination of alternating challenges. We traversed rolling hills with meadows and forested paths, sloping residential byways, bustling city streets, quiet and sublime city parks and even a sports running track meant to stifle the progress of any pedantic or overly energetic front runners.

The midpoint of the day’s trek included a planned and much appreciated beer stop. A brief disappointment greeted the first arrivals, finding the establishment to be closed on Sundays. Not to worry, our resourceful Hares had a back up plan! We were soon relaxing under a shaded portico enjoying a refreshing libation, although some found the fare for which to be a bit haughty.

A number of noteworthy viewpoints were encountered along the 9+ kilometer route. Panoramic views of Budapest from the northern heights overlooking the Danube’s meandering curve toward the City center. An educational stop at the shrine of Gul Baba, a 16th century benevolent Turk who was into rose gardening and whose very steps we may have been following. Thus when all the geography and history lessons were concluded the Hares led the way on a long hilly homeward stretch, finally arriving at the starting point and another much needed libation.

The circle of Hash 867 (or somewhere thereabout) was marked by the passing of the scepter from outgoing GM, BB to our newly anointed GM Sex Tax (Don't forget PussyWillow). Amidst this noted fanfare were the usually down downs for the usually variety of reasons, none of which merit writing down. The exception being a newcomer named XXXX, whom we hope to see more of! ahh!! and to see on another hash as well.

Yours truly, Andy, (reluctantly) aka: Cheesy (still hinting for a change) Balls

June 10th - #851 Városliget

Hare: Smokey Donkey w/Baldrick
Pack: Run By Battery, Sex Tax, StAnus, Wash & Blow, Cheesy (I want a new name) Balls, 10 Minutes Late, Trigamist, NFG Thomas, NFG Nora, NFG Parash (sorry if spelled wrong) Visiter Thumper

Scribe: Cheesy Balls letting down the hash!

May 6th - #847 Gellért Hegy

Hares: Sex Tax and NFG Tom (Route Map)

Report on Hash Number 847

It was a balmy grey Sunday morning as I arrived promptly at the appointed hour to greet a collection of other hashers poised to take on the challenge set by Hares of the day, SexTax and (yet to be named)Tom. So! you may query, why is this days account scribed by my hand, when it is destined for the tardy arriver. Once again I have been the victim of connivance, conspiracy and false accusations on the part of members of the mismanagement committee, entrapping me into this servitude.

On and Further On

With grand enthusiasm and some suspicion of rain the group set off for the base of the Citadel, SexTax herded the runners while (yet to be named)Tom, provided additional guidance to the larger but more languid group of walkers. The trail began with a slow accent that tended to circumnavigate the citadel mount. It winded through gentle sloping trails and across flower studded meadows and lawns, There were several stretches of long flat gravel covered pathways, allowing the runners to maintain a cruising pace and the walkers to settle back into even deeper thought. The trail included several checkpoints some of which were laid so crafty that they required the intervention of the Hare. Otherwise we would still be running around the Citadel. A series of stairways brought us to the summit and the familiar breathtaking view of Budapest environs.

Following a casual jog across the grounds and onto the downward sloping roadway we encountered the welcomed BN mark, adjacent to which was a familiar way station. We were soon accommodated with chairs, tables and a round of that venerated amber liquid. The enjoyment or which was accented by unintended entertainment provided by an eclectic assortment of passers-by. Well nourished, we resumed the trail. It led down through sloping smooth pathways and narrow rock strewn catwalks around the East side of the mount. Another breathtaking view to the south and few more check points led to the end, also the beginning, of the Hash. Arriving first, the runners succumbed to waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more till finally the vanguard of the walkers appeared followed shortly thereafter by the remainder of the group.

The Hash circle began with the recognition of the Hares, SexTax and (yet to be named) Tom who set a modest and enjoyable route. As there were no newcomers or returnees this day, a few trifles and frivolities were proclaimed to create some down downs just for the hell of it, the exception being the usual technology violations. Future Hares anointed themselves with the task for the next two weeks, none of whom I can remember. And Wet Blanket made two very profound announcements, the first having to do with interest in the Rolling Stones concert and the other, I also cannot remember.

Thus closed Hash number 847 to be remembered by few and missed by none.

Yours truly,

Andy aka Cheesy(surely there is a better name)Balls

*We did have a visitor from the Madrid Hash. Well Hungary is a Budapesti girl living in Madrid.

April 15th - #844 Széchenyi-Sashegy

Hares: Baldric and Virgin Nora

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TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Please find attached your personal copy of the most recent dissertation made for your meticulous study and kind consideration, elaborated exclusively for serious hashers by our exceedingly respectable hashologist, the highly honored Dr. Cheesy Balls Ph.D.

OnOn,

Rabies

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I am once again challenged with the task of mating pen to parchment, err, rather fingers to keyboard, to recount the proceedings of Hash number 844. This destiny I must say was ruled in a greater part by the scheming and connivance from members of the mismanagement committee than to my tardiness.

And so the day began with a mustering of some 17 or more souls on bright glistening morning. We assembled at the usual rendezvous to await the sounding call of the hares Nora and Baldrick. Nora prompt as she was proved ill equipped to seize the moment and lead us toward the start of the hash course, not knowing exactly where it was. Thus we waited for Lord Baldrick, and waited and waited some more, long past my arrival I must say. Finally in a flurry of consternation, the spotted sun dome appeared. With little delay we sped off towards the base of Gellart hills and the start of the hash run/walk.

Pointing the way far above his now tarnished sphere, Lord Baldrick led the way. On up we ran, and walked, along a winding road, on up through a precipice and across an apple blossomed meadow. Then onward and further up through a wooded path and another winding road, on upward we sped, (well, maybe not exactly sped), but up further, more, up, and still more up. The %&$# hare had us running up for the better part of an hour. Finally we reached the supposed summit and beer stop.

Panting and sweating we anticipated the arrival of a cool one, only to find the beer stop was actually a pasty shop that did not sell beer. Learning of this dreadful miscalculation, the resourceful and quick-witted Lord Baldrick announced the course to another beer stop. With only a minor delay we were again upward bound following the cog railway for another kilometer to arrive at a second beer stop that, much to our delight actually did sell beer.

After a refreshing libation we were once again on the Baldrick trail. Down through a tree studded park we went, on down through a darkened forest path, down further across a meadow sparkling with dandelions and more down. Onto a roadway we trotted, down into a cemetery and through graveyards we went. Downward we descended, along another long roadway and still more down and down again. Finally far below our past respite we reached the starting point.

I cannot report on the events that occurred on the walk, however rumor has it that the trek was filled with lively conversation, ribald limericks suggestive cavorting, although we will never know for sure.

After quite a bit of further delay, walking laggards be held, the hash circle began. The Hares, Nora and Baldrick were accosted with the usual demonstrative accusations but most thought their course was inventive, picturesque and novel although it had its ups and downs.

The next order of business was to recognize two virgins. Nora, also a virgin hare, and Judith were summoned to the circle for the ritual proclamations. Nora exhibited some confusion and bewilderment at the accusation of being a virgin until it was explained that the term only applied to the Hash House Harrier group. But we thanked her for her confession and encouraged her to enlighten us with any details she might wish to share.

A returnee was next recognized. Natasha, after a two-year hiatus from the Hash has once again found the wisdom and fortitude to return to exercise, friendship, fresh air and a good measure of debauchery.

Offenses were dominated by the technology category, which drew many more members into the circle than those left to croon them. Yours truly along with a couple of cohorts were asked to submit to a down-down for reasons too frivolous to recall. And finally Baldrick was given another down-down for just being Baldric.

Thus ended the Hash circle number 844, to remain a distant memory to some and a vanquished one by most. The company less a few souls retired to enjoy further libations and a grand supper.

Yours truly,

Andy, aka Cheesy (surely I can get a better name) Balls

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an amendum: An excellent meal was had by all takers who sped off for a very well camouflaged little étterem on the wrong side of the tracks at Kelenföld railway station. Cleverly disguised as a deserted shack amongst large gas pipes, on a rubble-strewn vacant lot, in the shadow of Wien Hotel, and on which I now guess is Május u. (XI), sits the eatery Réti Sas. The food recommendations by the NFG Nora were top notch.