Hash #889 - April 27th, 2008

Location: HarmasHatarHegy

Hare: The Silver Fox, aka Pops, aka SexTax and his lovely consort Pussy Willow

Since no one is appointed scribe I will do it myself....yes I know how wonderful I am.

So some gathered at Batthanyi ter at the appointed time. Since Sextax and PussyWillow let the cat out of the bag I, like the sister, thought it might be a better idea just to go to the starting point. We arrived at the start, strangly absent of a starting mark and started up the hill.

There was Oral Organism and her canuck friend, BangCock, Petra, Giving Head and sister (who's hash name escapes me, Frustrated Frog and friend, maybe a few others, I was a bit drunk from the night before.

Oral Orgasm made the worst screeching noises each time I pointed out there was a missing Parrot who's owner could have laid the hash. Petra thought it would be funny, once again, to play water-sports with the big boys and would up wetter than she would have hoped.

We stopped to see the para-sailors, but no Rabies. But...

Once we got to the beer stop, 2 thumbs up on the beer stop BTW, a few more hashers appeared. Hulk, Shirtless Rabies, H'agi's and her 2 virgins from Switzerland. Some drinks were ordered, some food bought, some free bites taken by Giving Head, and then we were off down the hill.

We circled at some restaurant and the showoff hashers arrived to rub in our faces how great they were for running some relay-race (see if you have volunteered you could now be writing kind words about yourselves). Run-By-Batterty, GH, and Haggis could keep there Lesco holes shut during the circle.....AGAIN... so Incredible Hulk did want any sane man would do...gag giving hear.

blah blah blah and it was over and time to eat. I high-tailed it to Daubner for some delicious medvehagyma pogi.

Mmmmmm

Hash #888 - April 20th, 2008

Hmmm...

This space should have been fill by "Run By Battery" but she has once again

LET DOWN THE HASH!!!

I would just like to point out that on the Furher's birthday, you might not want to start the hash from Budapest's most famous fascist monument, might get some people thinking....

Maybe we should just watch the following cartoon instead.

13th April 2008 - Not Much of a Hash #887

Batthyany Ter – Obuda – Margit Sziget

Hare: Non-existent

Scribe: Pussy Willow

BangCock (20% attendance, must do better!!!), NFG-David, Frustrated Frog, Jaws, NFG-Jutta, NFG-Petra, Pussy Willow, NFG- Sarah, Smokey Donkey and St. Anus, Ten Minutes Late.

Question: When is a drinking club with a running problem not a drinking club with a running problem?

Answer: When it’s Hash # 887 and no one runs and less than 3 beers are consumed all Hash by just 2 people!

So the first problem was established fairly quickly, at 11.31 to be precise – we had no trail. Where shall we go? There was not an overwhelming response to suggestions for a route: a lone voice suggested Romaifurdo, just a short walking distance from Batthyany Ter. The mention of its proximity to Szentendrei did alert us to the meaning of short and some wondered whether we would reach it in daylight, but we set off nevertheless but not without a second problem arising. Exactly what number Hash was this? It could not be 888 as this would require a special celebration and six months planning, nor could it be 900 as this would merit a huge extravaganza, 12 months planning and failure to agree about anything. Having settled on this Hash being 800 and something, we set off in the direction of Romaifurdo or Esztergom, whichever came first.

On this glorious Spring day with the birds and tom cats frisky; buds bursting on the trees and the sun beating down, we decide not to have a glorious walk in the countryside and ‘be one with nature’, but to walk alongside the traffic on the rakpart instead. Oh the fumes; the pounding of tyres on tarmac; the sirens. What did we do to deserve such serenity? It was obviously all too much for BangCock who decided to leave us at this point.

By Szepvolgyi we managed to tear ourselves away from the delights of the rakpart, headed inland and retreated to the leafy suburbs of Obuda where we came across a bit of Roman antiquity masquerading as an amphitheatre but we Hashers knew better. It was, of course, a Roman football pitch with crowds gathering for the eagerly awaited Cup Final between Rome Rovers and Centurion City. For those of you wishing to know the score, it was 3 – 2 to the Rovers after extra time. Brutus saved a penalty taken by Caesar in the first half.

OnOn to Arpad Hid, first stopping by more ruins – a load of old columns (gosh, I’m so cultured) set against the incongruous back drop of vast apartment blocks and fly-over’s to the bridge. We also saw a monument with a crumpled car in bronze at its base. Those more intelligent Hashers amongst us (yes, there was one yes it was me!!!) worked out that the numbers on the monument signified a year with the number of car fatalities for that year underneath it. I had my suspicions though that it may refer to the number of jokes posted on the BPH3 yahoo website each year!

On then to a kiosk for a water stop (water, how sad is that) where a bit of recreational water sniffing took place between two Hashers. In the state of euphoria afterwards, one of them tried to vandalize the free standing kiosk sign. Fortunately, such high-jinks were met with a smile from the kiosk attendant who obviously knew the potency of the water she was selling.

Over Arpad Hid and the treat of yet more traffic, then down to that oasis that is Margit Sziget. However, on this day it happened to be an oasis of large pink inflatable mobile phones in honour of the sponsor of the race that was taking place on the sziget. Dodging runners; groups practising Tai Chi or some such thing and laughing yogaists (yes, I know there is no such word but I’m English so I can make them up as I go along), we made our way to a blossoming magnolia tree for the circle. We welcomed a Hash Virgin, Jutta; duly acknowledged various Hash offences and slowly made our way through a shortened version of the Hash Hymn. I know you purists out there will be horrified but we (not Frustrated Frog) tried our best to mumble and do the actions at the same time whilst suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Smokey Donkey, Jaws, Frogs Legs; Jutta and Pussy Willow then set off to a restaurant in 13^th District for more water and a delicious meal. Thank God it was good since I recommended it but couldn't go!

Our next Hash will be the eagerly awaited, monumental, Hash #888 – no pressure Ginger Pussy.

OnOn

Pussy Willow

April 6, 2008 - Hash #886

Hare: Baldric
Scribe: BangCock
Photos by BangCock

We are having a string of good connections with the Hash weather Gods. Today was another beautiful one and purrrrfect for a romp on the Buda side of the Duna. There was a fair turn out plus two visitors from Germany. In attendance were: meself (Bang Cock), Baldric (as the Hare of course), Run by Battery and Trig-A-Mist, Wash and Blow graced us again with her presence, Let’s Do (personally I prefer “Likes Doing” but I’ll use the name she was given) It Backwards, Cunning Linguist was first at Battyhany today and returned to the group, Smokey Donkey (Still without the smokes. Hooray for him.), Ten Minutes Late, Petra (who came back for her second Hash with us) and then there were the visitors, Wild Cat and Lame Pussy Cat from Stuttgart (they didn’t even bring us a souvenir Mercedes). That rounded out an even dozen.

Assembling as usual at Battyhany ter we coerced a tractable passerby into taking our Group Grope photo and then set off in three vehicles to Academia on the 56 tram route. Parking there we received our trail instructions from Baldric. He did warn that since he laid the trail yesterday and it rained a bit last night some of the marks “might” be hard to spot. He also clued us in as to where the beer stop would be on trail and advised that they do serve food there should anyone desire any. Thinking that all was clear the running group of Baldric, Trig-A-Mist, Let’s Do It Backwards, Wild Cat and Bang Cock set off with the remainder to follow as the walking pack.

The runners beat feet along Szilagyi Erzsebet ut (the road which the 56 tram runs along) for two blocks before cutting off to the right on what I believe is Volkmann utca, to start going uphill. Little did we know at that time that this was to be a totally uphill trail. How in the “H” Baldric managed that I’ll never know but he did. At any rate we went up the street and into an obscure little bit of woodlands which he had somehow “sussed” out. There was even a rocky outcrop for a look out from which we stopped to admire the view. While we were clawing our way up the wood’s dirt paths Trig-A-Mist proved his devious mindset by short cutting this loop and slipped on up the street to get ahead of us (HEAD! WHO SAID HEAD!).

However we soon caught up as the next check confounded him until (believe it or not) Let’s Do It Backwards (LDIB) found the true trail. She was a real FRB today (Front Running Bitch). We sometimes got a view of her “lovely” rear but for the most part she was well in the van. We did a fair amount of pavement pounding both up and down (mostly up) until we cut back in to the woods just beyond the end of the

# 11 bus line and followed the trails there. At the “Lion’s Head” (HEAD! WHO SAID HEAD!) there was a nice family enjoying the view and they are in our photos of the day. LDIB also found an interesting grotto to the Virgin Mary and its photo is also in today’s pictures. From here we stayed mostly on the main trails passing many “civilians” out for an afternoon stroll until we broke off to head (HEAD! WHO SAID… aw the Hell with it!) again up a side trail that eventually led us to the top of the hill (Harmashatar-hegy ??) where the old glider launching strips and pill boxes are. There actually were gliders making lovely circles in the sky above us.

From here it was only a very short hop over the hill and down (Yes! I said down.)

to the bar/restaurant that was to be our beer stop and where we were to meet the walkers. The name of the bar/restaurant is Rockies or something like that (advice appreciated). It is a nice little place with a most unusual décor having a Disco Ball over what could be construed as a dance floor, one normal and one large projection type TV showing the running of the Grand Prix of Bahrain, a grotesque horrible looking Halloween doll hanging on the back wall and two snakes in one of the bottles of whiskey behind the bar. That too was photographed.

We waited for the walkers and had a few beers while LDIB was breaking out in goose bumps and shivering as she chilled down. Finally we decided to eat and then have more beers. This place had some of the best goulash ever. It was rich and tasty and dirt cheap. They serve it in tin enameled bowls like pails with wire handles on them.

(I suspect they are used for chamber pots when not being used for goulash.)

Still no sign of the walkers so Baldric called them on his phone. We learned that they had missed most of the trail and had been totally lost. Fortunately Wash and Blow was with them and she knew where we were. About 15-20 minutes later they staggered in completely shattered from the uphill struggle.

Their spirits did revive with beer and some of that wonderful goulash. While we sat there with the Grand Prix occupying the background, smiles again began appearing on their faces. However they refused to move for the second half until Baldric gave more details on where they were to go to the end. He advised that there was an alternate route where they could catch a bus to Huvosvolgy and then the 56 tram back to the start.

Once more the stalwart runners set off. This time, we thought, it would be all down hill. NOT! Again that canny Baldric found a way to have us run/walk/crawl up hill before we finally started down. Now we broke off the existing trails completely and went into the bush to scramble and slide down the hillside. Going through branches and bushes and God knows what all and passing over some perfectly good clear trails and paths at length we made it to the end of the woodlands and out onto a dirt road. Here we began another beating of the feet along “civilized’ but primitive roadways. And again LDIB was out in front. Baldric did drop back from time to time to see that we followers make the right turns or at least noticed the checks. After we passed on a long dirt road through a grassy meadow we lost sight of LDIB who by this time was well ahead of our group.

Finally we hit paved roads and got down to the road where the buses were running that could take us to the Huvosvolgy terminus about 5 minutes away. Wild Cat and I decided to take advantage of this situation. We caught the bus and then the 18 tram back to the starting point where we were the first ones in. A few minutes later a TAXI pulled up with Lame Pussy Cat, Ten Minutes Late, Run By Battery and Wash and Blow on board. They advised that the walkers had gotten lost again and the rest of the walking group had taken other trams or buses to go home as it was closer and easier to do from there than trying to call another cab to get back to the start.

A few minutes later Trig-A-Mist and Baldric showed up. The question immediately arose, “Where is Let’s Do It Backwards?” She was so far ahead of us that she definitely should have beaten them in. I looked in my car and found that I did have her back pack in the trunk presumably with her clothes, cell phone and God knows what all else. We figured that she must have missed a check and hoped that she would be in shortly after realizing this and going back to find the correct trail. We decided to have the circle with our small group and if she wasn’t back by the closing I would drive back to look for her while Baldric waited at the start in case she showed up there while I was searching.

The circle recognized the Hare, the visitors and even found that offenses had been committed on trail and afterwards. For these the offenders were duly punished. About this time who should appear running around a corner and down the street but LDIB. We were truly glad to see her. She must have run a marathon on her own. Being kind and considerate Hashers we recognized her efforts by awarding her with numerous down-downs until we decided enough was enough and closed the circle.

We all hope that LDIB has no trouble catching her flight later this evening for her vacation in Switzerland and that the trip proves as good as anticipated. We also wish Trig-A-Mist and Baldric good fortune in the London Marathon for which they are both registered. We will be missing Baldric’s happy face until his return in three weeks.

ON! ON!
BC

07 April 2008 AM