Friday, January 27, 2006

Hash Meeting Point Map


























The Budapest Hash House Harriers meet here every Sunday at 11:30am. If you still can not find us you may want to consider just enjoying the lovely view of Parliament (It's the large building across the river (that's the big, brown-green, wet thing in front of you))

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Aahlawetta

(To "Alouette", the songmaster points to various parts of a "volunteer" harriette's anatomy as the song progresses.)

Chorus
Aahlawetta, gentil Aahlawetta,
Aahlawetta, je te plumerai.

1.
Songmaster: How I love her curly hair.
Pack: How I (you) love her curly hair.
Songmaster: Curly hair.
Pack: Curly hair.
Songmaster: Alouett.
Pack: Alouett.
Together: Oh-oh-oh-ohhh. (to Chorus)

2.
Songmaster: How I love her bushy brows.
Pack: How I (you) love her bushy brows.
Songmaster: Bushy brows.
Pack: Bushy brows.
Songmaster: Curly hair.
Pack: Curly hair.
Songmaster: Alouett.
Pack: Alouett.
Together: Ohohohohhh.

3.
Songmaster: How I love her criss-cross eyes...etc.

(And so it goes adding one more part with each verse to the anatomy list to test the sobriety and memory of the songmaster. Tradition would have the songmaster do a down down for missing a
part during the listing or otherwise screwing up the song.)

Harriette List from Top (with alternates):

1 Curly hair (rat's nest hair)
2 Bushy brows (furrowed brow)
3 Criss-cross eyes (bloodshot eyes)
4 Crooked nose (broken nose)
5 Lubra lips (sucking lips)
6 Two buck teeth (cum-stained teeth)
7 Double chin (drooling chin)
8 Saggy tits (swinging tits)
9 Big pot belly (pregnant belly/big beer belly)
10 Moofy crotch (furry thing)
11 Knobbly knees (skinny legs)
12 Tinea toes (big smelly feet)

Harrier List from Top (with alternatives):

1 Thinning hair (balding head)
2 Neaderthal brow (wrinkled brow)
3 Blood-shot eyes (one glass eye)
4 Broken nose (hairy nose)
5 Smelly breath (pukey breath)
6 Rotten teeth (toothy gap)
6 Double chin (Dumbo ears)
7 Hairy chest (skinny chest)
8 Big beer belly (Big pot belly)
9 Tiny dick (micro-penis)
10 Drooping sac (tiny balls)
11 Creaky knees (skinny legs)
12 Tinea toes (big smelly feet)

Alphabet Song

"A" is for asshole, all covered in shit

Chorus 1
"Heigh-ho," says Rowley.

"B" is for the bugger who revels in it,

Chorus 2
Singing rolly, poley, up'em and stuff'em,
"Heigh-ho," says Anthony Rowley.

"C" is for cunt all dripping with piss,
(to Chorus 1)
"D" is for the drunkard who gave it a kiss,
(to Chorus 2)

"E" is for the eunuch with only one ball, etc.
"F" is for the fucker with no balls at all, etc.

"G" is for goiter, gonorrhea, and gout, etc.
"H" is the harlot who spreads it about, etc.

"I" is for insertion, injection and itch, etc.
"J" is the jerk of a dog on a bitch, etc.

"K" is for knight who thought fucking a bore, etc.
"L" is the lesbian who came back for more, etc.

"M" is for maidenhead all tattered and torn, etc.
"N" is the noble who died on his horn, etc.

"O" is for orifice all cunningly concealed, etc.
"P" is the penis all pranged up and peeled, etc.

"Q" is the Quaker who shat in his hat. etc.
"R" is the Rajah who rogered the cat, etc.

"S" is the shit-pot all filled to the brim, etc.
"T" is the turds which are floating within, etc.

"U" is the usher who taught us at school, etc.
"V" is the virgin who played with his tool, etc.

"W" is the whore who thought fucking a farce, etc.
And "X", "Y", and "Z" you can shove up your arse, etc.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Banana Song

Yes, we have no ba-nan-as,

We have no ba-nan-as to-day.

We've limp ones and thick ones and ravages and sick ones,
And all kinds of dicks and say!
We have an old, fash-ioned cu-cum-ber,
To please you till you slum-ber.

But, yes we have no ba-nan-as,
We have no ba-nan-as today.

Bestiality's Best

Chorus
Beastiality's best, boys, beastiality's best...
(Echo) Fuck a wallaby!
Beastiality's best, boys, beastiality's best!

1
Shove your log in a dog, boys,
Shove your log in a dog.
(Echo) Fuck a wallaby!
(You've gotta) shove your log in a dog, boys,
Shove your log in a dog...
(Songmaster:) All together now!

2 Up the rear of a deer...etc.
3 Intercourse with a horse...
4 Have a fuck with a duck...
5 Chuck your sperm in a worm...
6 Lick the twat of a cat...
7 Do an illegal with an eagle...
8 Up the hole of a mole...
9 Give some cock to a croc...
10 Shoot your load in a toad...
11 Have a rape with an ape...
12 Get in deep with a sheep...
13 Have a frig with a pig...
14 Up the thigh of a fly...
15 Give your gerbil some verbal...
16 Fool with the tool of a mule...
17 In the esophagus of an octapus...
18 Make it twirl in a squirrel...
19 Down the throat of a goat...
20 Shove your willy up a filly...
21 Stick you rod up a cod...
22 Up the spout of a trout...
23 Do it funky with a monkey...
24 Put your noodle to a poodle...
25 Make love with a dove...
26 Be very pleasant to a pheasant...
27 Sixty-nine with a swine...
28 Cunnilingo with a dingo...
29 Up the tail of a whale...
30 Up the ass of a bass...
31 Wear out a bug on the rug...
32 Mate a 'gator then fellate her...
33 Up the box of a fox...
34 Have a shag with a stag...
35 Nibble the twat of a rat...
36 In the dark with a shark...
37 Ejaculate in a skate...
38 Part the hare of a mare...
39 Have a screw with a shrew...
40 On top of the easel with a weasel...
41 Lick the clit of a nit...
42 Drink the pee of a bee...
43 Give a half to a giraffe...
44 Give a lickin' to a chicken...
45 Go a rounder with a flounder...
46 Make it wonky with a donkey...
47 In the sack with yak....
48 Get a suck from a duck...
49 Get under the tail of a snail...
50 Up the fanny of a nanny...
51 Get it out for a trout...
52 Up the hole of a sole...
53 On the lawn with a prawn...
54 Be a queer with a deer...
55 Have a shaggin' with a dragon...
56 Up the anus of a platypus...
57 Get the pox off a fox...
58 Any which way with a jay...
59 Have a hug with a bug...
60 Make some porn with a unicorn...
61 Put it through a gnu...
62 Have a goose with a moose...
63 Up the cunt of a runt...
64 Get frisky with a pixie...
65 In the Bahamas with some llamas...
66 Up the flue of a shrew...
67 Have a filler with a gorilla...
68 In the lake with a drake...
69 Get your release in a fleece...
70 Put it in the mid of a squid...
71 Make it course with a horse...
72 Help old Watson with a dachshund...
73 Soixante-neuf with a smurf...
74 Put it in the mouth of a sloth...
75 Get your oats with some stoats...
76 In the lake with a drake...
77 A dirty weekend in Wirral with a squirrel...
78 In the lug of a slug...
79 Have a squirm with a worm...
80 Have a cracker with a quacker...
81 Go and defile a crocodile...
82 In a bag with a stag...
83 Have a lark with an aardvark...
84 In a heap with a sheep...
85 Have a deer from the rear...
86 Go the whole way with a moray...
87 Have a toss with a hoss...
88 Put your thang in an orangoutang...
89 In the ear of a deer...
90 Make it limp in a chimp...
91 Beat you wick with a stick...
92 Up the toot-toot of a coot...
93 Be a rotter with an otter...
94 Put your cock in a peacock...
95 In the bog with a dog...
96 Have a chimp with an imp...
97 Come from behind with a hind...
98 Up the back of a yak...
99 On a train with a crane...
100 Anyway you can with a pelican...
101 On a honeymoon with a raccoon...
(And it never ends, make up your own!)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Clementine

(Oh, My Darline Clementine)

There she stood beside the bar rail,
Drinking pink gins for two bits,
And the swollen whiskey barrels,
Stood in awe beside here tits.

Chorus:
I owe my darlin', I owe my darlin'
I owe my darlin', Clementine.
Three bent pennies and a nickel,
Oh my darlin' Clementine.

Eyes of whiskey, lips of water,
As she vomits in my beer.
Dawns the daylight in her temple,
With a fucking warming leer.

Hung me guitar on the bar rail,
At the sweetness of the sign.
In one leap leapt out me trousers,
Plunged into the foaming brine.

She was bawdy, she was busty,
She could match the great Buzoom.
As she strained out of her bloomers,
Like a melon tree in bloom.

Oh, the Oak tree and the Cypress,
Never more together twine.
Since that creeping poison ivy,
Laid its blight on Clementine.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Do Your Balls Hang Low?

Tune: Sailor's Hornpipe

Do your balls hang low?
Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
*Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder,
*Like a Continental soldier?
Can you do the double shuffle,
When your balls hang low?

CHORUS:
Ting-a-ling, God damn,

Find a woman if you can.
If you can't find a woman,
Find a clean old man.

If you're ever in Gibraltar,

Take a flying fuck at Walter.

Can you do the double shuffle,

When your balls hang low?

*Additional verses for measures 5 and 6:

Do they make a lusty clamor,
When you hit them with a hammer?

Can you bounce 'em off the wall,
Like an Indian rubber ball?

Do they have a hollow sound,
When you drag 'em on the ground?

Do they have a mellow tingle,
When you hit 'em with a shingle?

Do they have a salty taste,
When you wrap 'em 'round your waist?

Do they chime like a gong,
When you pull upon your dong?

Do Your Tits Hang Low?

Do your tits hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder?
Do you need a boulder holder?
Do your tits hang low?

Are your tits real small?
Are they flat just like a wall?
Can you hide them with your hands?
Can you see them there at all?
Would you look just like a male
if it weren't for your pigtails?
Are your tits real small?

Are your tits just right?
Are your blouses kinda tight?
If you had a disagreement
could you use them in a fight?
Do the boys throw fits
when you flash your tits
Are your tits just right?

Do your tits go squish
when you poke them like this?
Do they feel just like
a slimy jelly fish?
Does your man's pecker stand
when he holds them in his hand?
Do your tits go squish?

Are your tits real hard?
Could you use them as a guard?
Do your nipples poke through
your pink leotard?
When its wet and cold
do they stand out proud and bold
Are your tits real hard?

Do your tits have hair?
Do people stop and stare
when you wear a french braid
down to your underwear?
Do people think your breasts
are like your father's chest?
Do your tits have hair?

Are your tits really real?
Did it take them long to heal?
Are they silicone
or saline filled?
Do the boys hearts race
when you shake them in their face?
Are your tits really real?

If your tits are teeny weenie
or too big for your bikini
no matter how they look
no matter how they feel
be glad that you got 'em
cuz you know the boys will want'em

Down Down Song


Here's to ... ... he's true blue,
He's a hasher through and through
He's a pisspot so they say,
He tried to get to heaven,
But he went the other way!

Drink it down down down down,
down, down, down, down, down,
Why are we waiting, why are we waiting ... ...

Drunken Sailor

What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
Earlye in the morning?

Chorus
Way hey and up she rises,
Way hey and up she rises,
Way hey and up she rises,
Earlye in the morning?

Put him into bed with the captain's daughter,
Put him into bed with the captain's daughter,
Put him into bed with the captain's daughter,
Earlye in the morning?

(Substitute these lines for 1-3 above for more verses)

Hang him by the balls in a running bowline...

Tie his prick in a double half-hitch...

Shave his crotch with a rusty razor...

Bare his bum for the horny sailors...

On his hands and knees like a dog now...

Shove a hose pipe up his asshole...

Have him whipped by a lovely sadist...

Shove it in his mouth when you're cumming...

Use his face for a pissin' contest...

That's what we'll do with the drunken sailor...

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Hash Hymn

Same tune as the lyrics. Sing with gestures, as actions speak much louder than words. Standard hash benediction closing down-downs.

Songmaster says, 'Respect for the Hash Hymn'

Chorus
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin' four two carry me home.

I looked over Jordon,
And what did I see-ee,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
A band of An-gels,
Cumin' after me-ee,
Cumin' four two carry me home...

(Songmaster says, '2nd verse')
If you get there be-four I doo,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
Tell all my friends I'm cumin' twoo,
Cumin' four two carry me home...

(Songmaster says, '3rd verse')
I'm sometimes up, I'm some-times down,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
But still my sole feels heav-en-ly bound,
Cumin' four two carry me home...

Options:

Songmaster says, 'Harlots', then women do chorus in high pitched voices, screaming in high pitched, exagerated climax at the each pause.

Songmaster says, 'Real Men', then men do chorus in low, deep voices, exagerating the size of their penis in the 'cumin'gesture by hold both hands apart in sweeping, two-handed masturbating gesture and swinging hands low to the ground with 'swing low'

Songmaster says, 'Ray Charles', then pack closes eyes and sings chorus with gestures, moving head from side to side with the beat.

Hash Virgin Serenade

To: Ball of Kerrymuir

Four and twenty virgins,
Came out to this old hash,
And when the hash was over,
There were four and twenty less.

Chorus
Singing, balls to your partner,
Arse against the wall.
If ye canna get laid at this old hash,
Ye'll never get laid at all.


This fine young virgin she was there,
She had drank a bit too much,
Showing us her titties,
But sayin' we couldna touch.

This cocky virgin he was there,
Drinking Old Milwaukee's Best,
Showing the girls his tiny dick,
The girls they weren't impressed.

This other virgin she was there,
Talkin' 'bout givin' head,
But when it came to swallowin',
She would spit instead.

This other virgin he was there,
Askin' 'bout toe sucks,
The harriettes frowned and then they said,
"What do you want for three bucks?"

The other virgin SHE was there,
Givin' us all a great view,
While dancing on the table,
She said she'd do the crew.

This other virgin HE was there,
Getting drunk as he could be,
And by the time the circle broke up,
He'd pissed a gallon of pee.

This fine young virgin she was there,
With legs all firm and tan,
Her shorts rode up her ass so tight,
They squeaked whenever she ran.

Happy Birthday Songs


Version 1
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole,
Happy birthday, fuck you.

Drink it down, down, down . . .

Version 2
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
You look like a hasher,
And you smell like one too.

Drink it down, down, down . . .

Version 3
Here's to (name), she's true blue,
It's her (his) birthday, boo hoo hoo,
She is (age) if (s)he's a day,
Wishes she were younger,
But there's no way!

Drink it down, down, down . . .

Version 4
I've Been Working on the Railroad (Eyes of Texas)

Your day of birth is now upon you,
You're older by one day,
Your day of birth is now upon you,
And now you're gonna pay,
The Hash is gonna lay it on you,
You dirty bastard (bitchin') hound,
Your day of birth is now upon you,

Drink it down, down down down down




Thursday, January 12, 2006

Once a Bloody Hashman

Tune: Waltzing Matilda

Once a bloody hashman jumped into a shiggy-pit,
Under the smell of a durian tree,
And he hummed and he stank as he wallowed in that shiggy-pit,
I'll never see the beer, said he.

CHORUS:
Short-cutting hashmen, short-cutting hashmen,
I'll never short-cut again, said he.
And he stank as he sank and wallowed in that shiggy-pit,
Who'll come a' wallowing in hash with me.

Up jumped a kampung man screaming most hysterically,
You can't swim there, Tuan, said he.
That's my jolly shiggy-pit you've got in your underpants,
That will cost you down-downs one, two, three.

CHORUS

Out climbed the hashmen, dripping very smellily,
You'll never get your kitty from me.
And he squelched and he oozed over to a billabong,
Who'll come a wallowing in hash with me.

CHORUS:

(quietly)
Now his voice may be heard as he runs the trail so lone,
Please, please, please come a running with me.
But the pack, far ahead, is hiding very craftily,
Back to your shiggy-pit and let us be.

Sunday, January 8, 2006

Sex is Boring

Tune: Frere Jacques
(May be sung as a round)

Sex is boring,
Sex is boring,
Pain is fun,
Pain is fun,
Gonna cut my fingers off,
Gonna cut my fingers off,
One by one...

Sex is boring,
Sex is boring,
Pain is fun,
Pain is fun,
Pulling out my pubic hairs,
Pulling out my pubic hairs,
One by one...

Sex is boring,
Sex is boring,
Pain is fun,
Pain is fun,
Poking out my eyes,
Poking out my eyes,
One by one...

Sex is boring,
Sex is boring,
Pain is fun,
Pain is fun,
Cutting off my gonads,
Cutting off my gonads,
One by one...

Sex is boring,
Sex is boring,
Pain is fun,
Pain is fun,
Cutting off my penis,
Cutting off my penis,
Inch by inch...

Keywords: sex,

Short Song

Tune: Turkey in the Straw

Oh, the wiggle of her ass would make a dead man come,
And the nipple on her tit is as big as my thumb,
She's a mean motherfucker, she's a great cocksucker,
She's my girl, she fucks!

Drink it down, down, down, down...

Short Hymn

Traditional (WITH REVERENCE)

Hymn, hymn,
Fuck hymn. . .
Drink it down, down, down, down...

Saturday, January 7, 2006

The Beer's Prayer


Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home, as it is in the pub. Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage's,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager.

Forever and ever.

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Why Were They Born so Beautiful


Why Were They Born so Beautiful
Why were they born so beautiful,
Why were they born at all,
They're no fucking use to anyone,
They're no fucking use at all,

They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought o be publicly shot
And left in a public urinal
And left there to fucking well rot.

Drink it down-down-down-down down ad nauseam.

Sunday, January 1, 2006

#1000 Hash - Registration Form

Instructions:
  • To use, please download, just after where it says SCRIDB

  • If you don't see anything, download Adobe Acrobat and install it.

  • Fill in person and press "Click to Return Registration"

  • If you use Internet Email you will have to mail the .xml file to Budapesthash@gmail.com with the topic #1000 HASH.

  • If you can't use any of this update Adobe Acrobat, if you don't know what Acrobat is give up, you're hopeless

  • Some people can't get this to work no matter how hard they try, if this is you please just send the details requested to Budapesthash@gmail.com

  • Once this registration is complete banks details will be sent for transfer.
Sorry, it has come to my attention that you must register with SCRIBD to download this, trying to work this out. If you don't what to register, and I can sympathize, email me and I will send directly to you.
1000 Hash Form