Monday, March 26, 2007

March 25th - #841 Buda Hills

Hares: Incredible Hulk and Ági.

There was much potential for this run to go wrong. The day before had been rainy and cold. The time-change happened Saturday night, and some hashers woke at 10:00, with plenty of time to make the hash, then realized it was actually 11:00. There was a shortage of vehicles.

But the morning of run 841 dawned sunny and bright, the hash waited by Battyany tér until everyone showed up, 10 Minutes Late helped with an extra car to get up into the hills of Buda, and we were on-on!

The run started straight up-hill along the roads, then into a trail in a nature preserve (which we entered without permit). We wound through hill and dale and tiny dirt roads for quite a while, then up past the houses of Buda. The day was gorgeous and the views were good all along, but at a particularly good view we stopped to admire. Silly pictures and possibly movies were taken, and there was a traditional hash performance of "Brother Abraham!"

We followed the tricky trail back down through hill and dale, and came back to the cars. We moved into the parking lot of a high school for the circle -- the security guard eyed us suspiciously, but decided that chasing us off would be too much trouble.

The circle was full of boozy good cheer. Hulk and Ági were given down-downs as hares. Three Times a Weenie, and Mona (see below) were given down-downs as visitors. Just Nitu was awarded a down-down as the sole virgin, and wondered what she had gotten herself into. Lehel, Zsuzsa, and French Maid were given down-downs as returnees, and it was on the religious portion of the circle.

Some of the usual penalties were assessed: Trigamist was a SCB (Short-Cutting Bastard). It was decided that Smoking Donkey was really walking too fast, and he was therefore down-downed for being FWB (Front Walking Bastard). Technology on trail was trouble for many: Lehel, French Maid and Nata for phones, Nitu and Hulk for digital cameras. Hash gear was also a problem for many -- most of the circle was in for no hash gear, and the singing of "down-down-down-down" was markedly weak. Lehel drank slowly enough for an entire chorus of "why are we waiting" to be sung. Smoking Donkey and Three Times a Weenie were called into the circle for abusing alcohol by dumping beer on him. Many additional penalties were assessed, and no one left with dry lips (although Cheezy Balls tried.)

Finally, naming's were discussed. It was decided that it was far overdue for Lehel to be named. He looks a little bit like a leprechaun, and:


A tall man is in the mens room using the facilities. A short guy, about knee high, comes in and pulls up a stool, and starts taking a pee too. The tall guy keeps looking over his shoulder. The little guy says, "What the hell are you looking at?" and the tall guy replies, "Well, for you being such a short little guy, you have an awfully big pecker on you!"

"Well," says the short guy, "Of course I do. I am a leprechaun, and I can have anything I wish for!"

"A leprechaun, you say? Does that mean you can give me any thing I wish for?!" asks the tall man.

"Well, yes, but I am a gay leprechaun, so I'll want a favor in return," says the short guy.

After thinking, the tall guy says, "Alright then. I want a million dollars, a brand new mansion, and 2 brand new Porsches!"

"Fine!" says the short guy, "its all yours! But first I want you to pull your pants down, bend over and grab your ankles!"

So, the guy does it, and the short guy climbs back up on the stool, and really gives it to him! The guy is just moaning. The short guy says, "So tell me, What is your name?" The tall guy moans, and stomping his feet, he says, "My name is Bruce....."

"Bruce? How old are you?" asks the short guy.

Stomping his feet even harder, he moans, "I'm 32!"

The short guy says, "Bruce? You're 32 and you still believe in Leprechauns?!"


But he's a cyclist, and so we named him Flat Tired. (This turned out to be very appropriate!) Flour and beer were liberally dabbed on, and the hash baptism was complete.

Zsuzsa has also hashed for a long time without a name. As she works for Borsodi, we discussed some beer-themed names. We recalled that good beer has great head, so we named her Gives Head. Since it had gotten colder since L�hel's naming, Zsuzsa was baptized with flour alone.

Additional naming possibilities were discussed. Nitu looked like Pocahontas, so Poke-Her-Hontas was a good possibility, but she was let off the hook on account of it being her first hash. Mona claimed not to remember her second hash name (having already forgotten the
first). Since she's swedish and likes smelly rotten fish, Smells Like Fish was suggested, but she was let off with a promise to name her with triple beer and flour the next time she's in town without a name! Three Times A Weenie was down-downed for having been acting RA at her naming hash and having forgotten her name as well. It was noted that Ági is due for a naming, but no good ideas were proffered, and the naming was deferred. Ági, start doing more silly things on the hash, so we have fodder to name you! For example, a friend was named Pussy Pong after getting a ping-pong ball stuck "down there." Start living up to her example!

We then went on to a restaurant whose name I forget for Hungarian food and much much wine. Possibly due to the wine, I've forgotten more than just the restaurant name, but a boozy good time was had by all.

Flat Tired fell asleep halfway through the meal, and was allowed to snore peacefully, although we did take incriminating photos of him. Smoking Donkey ordered so much wine, that they ran out of the one we were working on. He tried to bargain the price of the more expensive wine they suggested substituting, but the waitress pointed out that it was a restaurant, and not a market.

Friendly rivalry went on between the Swedes and Danes. The Swedes came out ahead -- Smoking Donkey pointed out that, while, the Danes open people with open arms, the Swedes welcome them with open legs, which made us want to go to Sweden a lot more than Denmark.

Finally, after much additional BSing, we spilled out of the restaurant, did a quick round of the hash hymn on the roadside, and poured ourselves into cars. We fit 16 people into two cars, but
fortunately the police were eating pogacsas when we drove past the station and left us alone.

Russ Woodroofe - 3x a Weenie

Hulk's Photo Gallery

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