July 13th Hash #901 - Rosadomb

Hash Number 901,

The Morning After

After the marathon length 900 Hash day I was sure there was not to be a morning after hash for me. But as the minutes ticked past 10:59, enthusiasm got the better of rational judgment and I momentarily forgot the ach in by quadriceps. With a bright sunny sky above and a foggy memory I trod the warming pavement to become the last arrival among a group of some 15 over zealous hashers including several out of town guests.

A trail was set by our very own GM, Sextax. It was reported that our co-GM Pussy Willow helped but I doubt it. The hash trail roamed the ups and downs of the second district including a customary stop at Gul Baba’s tomb, for the easterners among us I suppose. As the heat wore on runners split from the walkers for a nearer beer stop and rest. This stop turned out to be a relaxing experience on the roof top of the Bath next to Lucas Bath, the name of which escapes me.

When replenished it was then back on the short upward trail to the second beer stop at the GM’s flat. To our delight, host Pussy Willow had waiting snacks and ice-cold beer. Most likely to make up for an ill representation in the trail setting process. Nonetheless, their flat near the clouds was a welcomed belief from the heat. The rather lengthy beer stop came with the experience of viewing the British game of Cricket, or at least a part of one. And whether welcomed or not Pussy Willow provided excellent commentary on the rules.

After really cold beer, snacks and the Cricket match, much to my chagrin there was more hash trail to endure. And although the hare promised it was all downhill, it wasn’t really. But alas, we ended up in the vicinity of Moskva Ter and a nice, although late, lunch

Well that’s is your hash report, its not a long retort so drink it down, down, down etc.

Juy 12, 2008 Hash #900

HASH NUMBER 900

The great event of the Budapest Hash number 900 was a great success for all those who attended. A wonderful day of sunshine, running, beer and some very nice titties.

Rabies had made some lame excuse for not setting the trail, he was recovering from getting high (then low…). But we had Baldrick and Bang Cock as the hares on what seemed to be the hottest day of the year. The run started at our usual meeting spot across the river from the seat of power, where our glorious Prime Minister presides over his loyal parliamentarians.

I had a rapid drive from Balaton to get arrive in the nick of time (hoping no speed tickets turn up…) but I did pick up the late-cumer prize of being scribe for the day. It was a great pleasure to find our favourite Tulin had come all the way from Turkey to be with us! Visitors from LA, Kiev and Vienna helped make our numbers almost respectable, but what the Bp hash lacked in quantity was made up for in quality !

Baldrick explained how his marks were set, so nobody listened as usual and we set off in every direction to find the flour (well, almost every direction, only missing the one that had the trail). Eventually after much running up and down getting nowhere, the cry of "On On" was heard and the pack set off, running directly away from the river – this must be the direction of the Castle district….

Baldrick had set the first half, so there was no surprise when we found ourselves running up steps, higher and higher, then round and round, up and down, and searching for where the trail went …. But experienced hashers enjoy the challenge. We explored the Castle district, steps and ramparts, streets and pathways…. With many a tittie style check to keep our peckers up. At one pont the trail went over a series of cannons, so the non-geriatric hashers took glee in leaping over them… The obligatory stop for a rousing chorus of Father Abraham was made beside the tomb of the last Turkish ruler. Eventually, after what seemed like a long hash, we appeared out at the site of a splendid horse and rider – famous for the fact that the Budapest law students always reach up and touch the balls (of the horse, not the rider) for good luck before an exam. Incredible Hulk went one better and clambered up to kiss them…

On to a beer stop at a friendly little pub where we have been before (in red dresses in the snow if I remember well). The landlord did not crack the slightest smile to find all these sudden visitors wanting him to work hard at pouring beer… The other clients were not Hungarian, there were a group of Croats and an Irish guy who chatted and seemed as if he might at least join BH3 for social events sometime… A good long beer stop was what was needed to refresh all our hot sweaty parts before starting out again, towards the second half, set by Bang Cock. Inevitably, the trail headed in the direction of the citadel, firstly towards the Presidential Palace, then into the big courtyard in front of the museum which seemed to have no exits. But the crafty hare had found a way through, around more museum, even through an entrance hall (in one door and out another – where another horse became a victim of Incredible Hulk).

After several more very attractive tittie shaped checks, we bumper into our Australian/Austrian hashers who had some feeble excuse about a visitor preventing them celebrating our 900 run, happy memories of certain hashers emptying the whole wine cellar were recounted, before the hash continued, going down hill, then around and up to the citadel for another hash halt at the top. We were eventually heading down past St Gellert and down to the gardens near Rudas baths for a circle.

Our esteemed RA allowed us to toast the hares in the usual manner, despite the lack of our song-meister, songs flowed just as freely as the 'special' beer (brewed in an unknown country of origin). We all enjoyed the virgins and listened to find out who made them cum. The visitors from many parts swelled our membership, with the unforgettable lovely girls from Kiev, the Ukraine member who spoke like he came from a long way further west, and a Vienna member who sounded as if he was from far north of known civilisation.

The number of offences was remarkable, and the beer kept flowing… until the climax was reached with a triple naming ceremony. The flour and beer flowed even faster, all 3 had a good coating of the lovely sticky mixture by the time we finished. If I had drunk less beer I might have remembered all the names … the young newly named Wankidextrous and everyone else put their names into the famous BH3 record book after a good round of the Hash Hymn.

All the (hungry) hashers, having been on the run for almost 3 hours, then having been singing and gesticulation furiously, needed food. A new Hash resto had been found by Wash-n-Blow, so we wandered off to catch a tram and most of us just hoped no inspectors were about. All found the place OK, and Haggis joined us there. Good food and more fun for the evening was had, with some of the crowd eventually heading over to the French Institute for the Bastiel Day street party, with stands of cheese, wine, champagne and other froggie goods. We were lucky enough to run into Soft Porn who was waiting to get hold of some Ginger Pussy.

And so ended the day of our 900 run ! All of us eager to see the big 1000 celebrations in a few years time!

On On !!!!!

July 06, 2008, Hash #899

Hash 899 on July 6th 2008

Hare : Bang Cock

The crowd gathered in the usual location with splendid views of the Magyar Parliament buildings in brilliant sunshine. Oh what a great day for a hash ! The assembled hashers were more numerous than usual with assorted visitors and new residents. There were 2 teenage guys from LA, living with Bang Cock, he claimed they were 'sons of a friend' but we all had other suspicions (they admitted to being virgins and that Bang Cock had made them cum…. Draw your own conclusions….). Most other visitors were from the US, some were regular Tokyo hashers; and 2 Times a Weeny brought a Scottish hasher from Qatar. We even had a baby in a 3-wheel cross-country pushchair. Since we were about 25 people in all, there was not enough car space, so the motley crew set off by car or public transport in a northerly direction to the Practika store in Ujbuda. Cars parked with no shade from the sun, but it was not a long wait for the pubic travellers.

BC gave the usual incomprehensible instructions, and the runners headed off in all directions looking for flour, until an "On-On" sent everyone in the direction the walkers were going. Even the baby in the 3-wheeler was running… There was a slight problem since the trail was not going to be buggy-friendly. But BC fortunately knew some alternative routes for some of the difficult parts, but the runners didn't know what was coming…. And as for the walkers…..

The runners trail followed a wide overgrown track and after a check or 2 went into a well overgrown field, the undergrowth almost needed a machete, so the baby stroller definitely needed an alternative route. Everyone followed one by one up and up through long weeds and bushes, eventually coming out onto a road which overlooked Practika and the other stores and residential area. Not a bad view, and the walkers were going to see it often…

The check had several options going up, so of course it was the steepest one which was correct, all the runners headed up this way, and got pretty spread out as the fitter ones kept running and the others dropped further back. Fortunately there were water pumps at regular intervals, it was a hot, sweaty day. When the walkers go to the check, they didn’t find the trail (something about talking too much and not walking enough… So they headed along the road in one direction, then the other, then back again, in circles and up & down…. With no progress until further down the page…

The runners trail went up a deep gully, full of huge stones, bits of tree and the obligatory detritus of 'civilisation' that accumulates in such places. It was pretty hard going for the average hasher, the baby stroller was going to have a problem to get up this part! Eventually, up a steep bank and out the gully, the running trail became easier and everyone stretched out at full speed (or walked slowly…) further upwards. Always in forest, the trees were of different sorts and different heights, but always trees. So even when we reached the 'top' there were no Hash views, just more checks and more blobs along some really beautiful woodland trails. It was a real pleasure to be running around the area. Baldrick and Incredible eventually descended back into tarmac roads and continued on blobs until we saw the Walkers. So we knew we must be on the right trail, until the walkers explained that they were still near the start and had only walked up and down the same road…. It took the runners a couple of minutes to solve the route question, the return trail did get very close to the out trail at this point – and at this point it turned steep down hill, heading back to the cars. So a now very-spread-out hash trailed slowly back to the cars. Fortunately BC had forgotten to lock his car, so the cold beer and drinks were available!

A long circle with plenty of spurious calls in good spirit meant that the beer flowed well. Then after a rousing chorus of the Hash Hymn, we all wondered where to eat. Fortunately Haggis was able to give help by telephone – a nearby Indian resto was open – there were no other customers and the prices were low for Hungarian Indians, so a good crowd of Hashers got well fed with a wide variety of spicy dishes (some being surprisingly hotter than the menu indicated…)..

A good time had by all ! Thanks to the Hare BC !!

May ???, 2008, Hash # 896???

HASH TRASH

Hare : Heather – Mai 2008



The trail in question was the one we did in May on St Gellert’s Hill. Heather had laid the trail in the morning and I think that she went up and down St Gellert’s Hill at least 3 times to keep the whole group gathered. She did really well, running and walking at the same time. However, we lost someone about 50 meters after the departure.

It was quite predictable because the person in question had taken a big bag full of books with her + was dressed all in black though it was stunning warm that day. I guess you know now who I am talking about. On the way, we met some Germans who were astonished to hear English people speaking German (or the contrary, I can’t remember exactly now).

At the top of the hill, we stopped for a drink. From the top of St Gellert’s Hill, we went down behind the castle and then up in the castle. And then I have to stop here because unfortunately, I lost the group at that point. By the way, I got some important information on this trail: There are two sorts of elephants in the Budapest zoo: Some are from Africa and some from India. The discriminatory thing is that the ones from Africa had to move because of the reconstruction of the zoo, whereas the Indian ones were able to stay were they were. I’ve never been to the zoo but that could be a nice start for a trail. Nicht wahr?



NFG Bea

DeathMarch of Pilisvorosvar - Hash #898

Hare: Baldric

Note- The trash should have been written by NFG (new french girl???) Bea who is still working on her master opus on last weeks trash so Bangcock has thrown himself on to the gernade.

It was a rather small but select group that showed up at Battyhany ter on this absolutely beautiful Sunday. There was Baldric (the Hare du jour), myself (Bang Cock), St. Anus, 10 Minutes Late, Hot Flush, Three Times A Wienie, Frustrated Frog Legs, Bea and Pia. Baldric and I made a brief foray into the supermarket to but eater and food to make sandwiches for after the trail. (We knew we would end at the micro-brewery in Pilisvorosvar and they don’t serve food.)

We hopped on the HEV and rode one stop north of Margit hid where we got off and caught the “Red” train that came by about 12:10. The train is excellent and it took us out to Aquincum cutting off to the east along part of last week’s trail. About 10 minutes later we arrived at Pilisvorosvar just as the lady ticket collector arrived to collect fares. When she learned we were getting off there she just shrugged her shoulder and indicated we should forget about it.

Dismounting we gathered for a long rambling series of fairly confusing trail instructions from the hare. (Little did we realize that this was setting the tone for the trail.) We finally had “light bulbs” glowing over our heads [HEAD-WHO SAID HEAD?] as we understood which way we should start out. Baldric and Wienie took off with the backpacks containing the rest of the water that we had not removed and the food to jog to the brewery and leave them there while the rest of the pack walked to start the trail until they caught up.

Stumbling along the RR tracks we came to the main road and found a check. Sussing it out we turned left to follow flour. Passing a gas station we bore left starting up the street. Just past the crest there was another check. The trail led down a small but picturesque lane and as we continued along our Hare and Wienie rejoined us. Then those running, Hot Flush, Wienie, BC and Baldric took off along the lane and down a looong stairway at the end leading to a small square in front of a church on a main street. Off we went to the left for a long straight till the trail took us on a right turn up another street which meandered along and eventually ended at a path leading into the woodlands and up, and up, and up, and up. Wheezing and gasping, crawling and stumbling we finally got out of the gully and took a side path that eventually brought us to a small road. A bit further along we came to a Hash Hold mark and rested there until the rest of the pack came up while we debated the translation of the sign finally “agreeing” that it referred to St. Steven’s pine trees inside a split rail enclosure. The view was nice but pretty much blocked by trees.

The pack caught up and we milled about some more finally taking off down another path taking us to a dirt road. Here our Hare took us up a very steep face of a hill to see the view of a lovely Cell Phone tower. From the top we could see that we could have simply walked around the hill and walked up rather than scrambling up the treacherous gravel face.

Coming down the back side of the hill we once again took the dirt road, being passed by several mountain biker going the other way.(They were going down. We were still going up. Who are the smart ones!) The road took us to a truly beautiful out look from a grassy field. We all stopped and took pictures. By this time we were beginning to realize how long we had been out on the trail (almost 3 hours) and were beginning to wonder if it would ever end.

Onwards we trudged along a path coming to some sort of a monument by the remains of an old stone house at the base of yet another hill. There was a check and knowing who our wiley Hare was I decided to check the path leading up the hill. Near the top I hit flour and continuing on I found more trail marks and called “ON! ON!” I looked back and saw Bea had followed with Frustrated Frog Legs and they were about 60m behind. Suddenly they stopped. They seemed to be waiting there. Suddenly FFL began waving me back. I called that I was on trail but the wave back continued. I started back down and reached Bea partway down. The rest of the pack AND THE HARE were calling us to come back. We did so only to go back to the stone ruins to take another path back up the other side of the hill to get to the same spot I had been in before.

From this point things began to fall apart and the trail took on all of the aspects of a “Death March”. We continued to plod through brambles and over fallen tree limbs along an often disappearing path. At last we met up with the Hare who pointed us down hill at a place where there was no path. At least we were in the shade as we went slipping and sliding down the hillside coming to a trail along the bottom. After another 15 minutes or so we came out of the woods. Here we lost trail and the front runners including the Hare but finally with the advice of a helpful little lady we were at least pointed in the direction to where we would eventually come to a main road with a bus route. As we came down out of the hills along the street we again found flour and started to follow the trail back to the start after calling Baldric to verify that was what we should do. (over 4 hours on trail)

We passed a little shop where a young girl was selling ice creams through a window and some of us tried some. At this point we arrived at a bus stop where a few people were waiting and St. Anus decided enough was enough and he had to get back to town so he left the group. (Needing food I was compelled to leave rather than dicking around for another 45 mins at least. With the bus minutes away I felt it was better than leaving it up to the fates. 25 mins later was back home)

We did run into an interesting sight here. A young man came bounding across the road wearing some sort of articulated footwear that propelled him along like a mountain goat. It was a diversion and by now we needed one.

We trudged back along the trail; across the road by the church; up the loooong stairway; back along the asphalt roads and after another 20 minutes or so were back at the gas station. Following the Hares instructions we continued on past where we had met this road at the start and fortunately met the Hare, Hot Flush and Wienie. From here it was only a short hot dry walk along a side street and through a small alley that brought us out on the road just up from the micro brewery.

Once there the beer was cold and delicious and the sandwiches we fixed for ourselves were most heartily appreciated along with more and more cold beer. About this time we realized that we had best get moving to catch the 19:10 train back to Margit hid. We finished our last sandwiches and beer; cleaned up and struggled back to the train station about 15 minutes away arriving just as the train was pilling in.

We boarded the train and proceeded to take over the aisle in front of one of the doors where Baldric proceeded to run the circle. There were numerous offenses with much sharing of the large beer we had brought with us. Of course Frustrated Frog Legs, our Song Meister, continually amazed us with his repertoire and the variety of songs he selected for us to sing. The other passengers in the car were extremely tolerant of these activities and when the ticket taker finally arrived, he didn’t quite know what to make of us and finally just threw up his hands and moved on. The train stopped about 100m short of Margit hid and walking to the tram stop we literally ran into Mama San who was on her way to meet a friend and go to a museum (or did she say a sex shop???). At any rate we had made it back to Budapest after a very long tiring but interesting day.

In closing I must comment that Baldric once again laid a very picturesque, imaginative and interesting trail. The only problem was that he really laid two (2) trails and had us do them both the same day. No trail for an ordinary hash should ever be more than 2 and a half to 3 hours long MAXIMUM. This was a great trail but was definitely punishing and towards the end the fun factor was gone. Without the cold beer and good sandwiches at the finish there “could” have been a lynching!!!

Despite the difficulties of the day, on the train returning, we were once again laughing.

ON! ON!

BC