April 22th - #845 HármasHatárHegy (HHH)

Hares: Cunning Linguist & St. Anus
(Patron Saint of Smoking Donkeys)

HASH 845 - Sunday 22 April 2007

Summer has arrived early in Budapest and the Sunday of Hash 845 followed the recent trend by dawning sunny and warm. The usual suspects gathered at 11.30, the only unusual flutter of excitement was the arrival of a George (C)loony look-alike who turned out to be Chris, a very occasional attendee and better known for his salsa skills last displayed at a British Embassy bash. The sun disappeared for a short while when BB flashed his well upholstered Buda Belly, causing some distress to those standing closest and to the two hash virgins, Judit and Thomas. The destination this week was Harmashatar-hegy (495m) and the hares were Cunning Linguist and St. Anus, making their first attempt to lay a trail.

The long uphill start soon saw BB relegated from runner to walker although he remained as ‘horny’ as ever throughout the day. Runners and walkers arrived at the top with only one missing hasher, Lazy Fucker, having lived up to his name by retiring with back trouble during the ascent. Views of Budapest duly impressed the hashers and interest centered on the paragliders taking off from a nearby hill.

A brief tour of gun emplacements followed before an unexplained and almost unheard of event split the pack, with BB, St. Anus, Sex Tax, Hulk, Aggie and Andy heading for the beer stop whilst the rest, led astray by CL, carried on following the trail. Deep worry about the rest of the pack meant that the drinkers could only have two pints of beer each before racing off to find the missing hashers 45 minutes later. A detour to the paragliders take-off site in search of Rabies friends (yes, he does have some!) was unsuccessful apart from Rabies claiming he finds it difficult to get up these days but once he is up it lasts for hours – we humoured him by listening respectfully and trying not to laugh.

Runners then set off on the trail again whilst Aggie and ST took the leisurely route back to the cars. Meanwhile the walkers had been having a bit of ‘retail therapy’ as The Dyke and Smokey Donkey traded last season’s haberdashery, ready for the 2007 ‘uj kolletion’. Hashers united in the circle, the major events being a Rabies-style lesson on the do’s and don’ts of trail laying – destructive criticism delivered in a quiet, caring and considerate way!

A hash-naming is always an important event and Aggie duly received her name of Haggis accompanied by copious amounts of flour and beer with her hair taking on the consistency of dough. Sad news of the departure from Budapest of Lazy Fucker led to a sentimental and heart-felt chorus of ‘fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off’ to the strains of Auld Lang Syne.

Those going for lunch decamped to the Trombitas pub on Moszkva Ter via the best bakery in Budapest for pogacsa. BB had gone home and rejoined the group looking very sartorial in a panama hat. Excellent food all round, especially the edible soup bowls. Arrangements made for various pub meetings at the end of the week and home to sleep off another successful and happy hash. On, on.

Sex Tax and Pussy Willow