April 29th - #846 Látó-, Kecske-, and Homok hegy

Hares: Rabies and Cunning Linguist

In yet another, in a long string of, beautiful Sunday mornings I was off to Batthány tér to see what Rabies and Cunning Linguist had cooked up for today’s run. After catching a preview from Cheesy Balls at the Hash social Thursday night I was expecting some pain to come from the run. The out-of-towner, who requested a Monday run was unaccustomed to the hills of Budapest and slithered back to the middle-eastern flatness of home.

Ascending from the bowels of Batthány metro station, I spied a hash haberdasher’s wet dream. Decked from head to toe in all manner of hashware, a guest, Yawning Onion, from the US, by way of Brazil and his Brazilian doctor (On Ya Vanya and Bundling Board; Fortaleza, Brazil ) wife, who must have been bamboozled by his oily American charm, were trying to find our starting point, not so easy since the rakpart was choked with parents watching their horrors finish up a biathlon (not the cool ski/shot one). I generously led them to our starting point and awaited more hashers to show.

One-by-one they slowly trickled in, Sex Tax and Pussy Willow, Rabies, the French NFG* who name I think is Thomas, Non-Smokey Donkey, and finally Cunning Linguist who did her best Baldrick, “I can come 35 minutes late since I am a hare” imitation. Off we 9 sped on the #11 bus towards Csatárka for another run into the Budai Távédelmi Köryet.

Surprising to everyone, especially me, was when we were set upon by rabid ticket inspectors (ON A BUS!, ON A SUNDAY!!! WTF?) demanding to see our tickets. I am routinely a “black” rider so I thought I knew how to handle the situation. I summoned up some righteous indignation and my best excuse for not having a ticket: “The ticket machine at the Metro station took my money and didn’t give a ticket. Then when I called the number listed, they hung up on me since they could not speak English, what am I supposed to do? I am but a dumb foreigner”. After a few “ers” and “ahhs” she left confused for the back of the bus without even a “goodbye” or “sorry for the inconvenience”.

After Smokey Donkey informed us all of his criminal record back in Denmark, and that everyone has one. In the back of the bus Sex Tax was receiving a tongue bath from some strange bitch he just meet. She was kind enough to pose in our group photo before we set off for the run.

We circled and Rabies instructed all as to “how to hash” and the particulars of the day’s hash. When he asked for a show of hands for those who were choosing to walk, all but the hare’s hands went up. Finally, unable to withstand the melancholic look on his face, Sex Tax and I agreed to take up the challenge. Off we ran.

It was a cleverly laid route full of checks, 6 or 7 by my count, and falsies, through the slopes of Látó, Kecske, and Homok** hegy. Since SexTax and I were the only non-hare runners, we had to run down all the false trails. Lucky for me SexTax was not so good at picking which direction Rabies would send us next. I kept giving him first choice as to which path to follow and for all but one he choose incorrectly. He probably wound up running an extra km or 2.

Arriving at Oroszlán szilka***, Rabies proceeded to try and mate with the rock. “It’s slippery” he said, and we knew he had been there before. More than just a monument of the trail, it also turned out to be the start of an uphill scamper to a Hash View”. We billy-goated our ways up the rocky face of Kecskehegy to be treated to some beautiful views of Hűvösvölgy. Soon the walkers caught up and also enjoyed the scenic vista. Finally we pushed on for the final leg of our journey.

On this route we came across the Arpád kilátó (lookout station). It was a beautiful view of the city below. We felt a few sprinkles which turnout to be nothing. After a short rest we set off.

Back at the starting point Cunning Linguist tucked into some turo-retés she had squirreled away before the run and the rest of us legged it to the corner shop for some beer for the circle.

Down-downs were generously handed out to guilty parties, mostly due to the ample amount of beer which was purchased. To the hares, to Sex Tax for bestiality, to the lot of us for some arcane rule about sunglasses Rabies invented on the spot, to Rabies for pointing on the hash, to the foreigners for unremembered offences, to the NFG for mismatched socks, and others. The circle closed with Sex Tax and Pussy Willow offering/being forced to teach the NFG “the way of the hare” for #846 next week, and much of the hash heading to Trombitas for another excellent meal.

On On****,

StAnus PSOSD

*New Fucking Guy

**An interesting pluralization

***Lion’s rock

****Cunning Linguist was designated scribe but I was bored and will add anything here she writes.

More photos here