Sept. 21 - Hash #911 - Rosadomb

Hare: Me
Scribe: NFG Kinga

On September the 21, our trail was set by St Anus. It led us through Rózsadomb – some of you who happen to live here in this beautiful country of ours, and still choose not to learn the language, but surround yourselves with merely English speakers and try to live like in a bubble - well, if you are one of those, you might not know that Rózsadomb means Rose Hill.

Although I usually prefer walking in forests rather than along public roads, there was not much traffic, so it wasn’t bad. I enjoyed this trail a lot, I found it physically challenging enough with all those steep steps and slopes, and also liked the unpredictability of where those little winding alleys and steps might take us. Smokers who had a hard time climbing uphill are now strongly encouraged to consult me for some medical advice.

Pussy Willow was very kind, she explained to me all about this flour sign system. As I understand, it is part of the game that the sign is without an arrow. So the runners do the harder job. Next time when I join the runners, I suggest not helping walkers and turning the sign into an arrow! I would prefer not making life any easier for anyone. (Yes, yes, now you must have recognized me. It is your teacher speaking :o)

It was a nice surprise that the trail finally led through some woods and most of all that it ended at Pálvölgyi cave. It was a pity that some people left before the circle.

It turned out that the mysterious new guy called David was Sex Tax’s brother. I found it quite strange that his hair was not white. I loved those obscene songs. Bang Cock let us take a glimpse into his musical talent. (Where can I get the lyrics?) The choice of beers was really excellent, but! You should be more careful about the temperature. The kind I had to drink as punishment was really too cold. I was punished several times, so it was really endangering my health. (Is there someone who could back this outrageous wives tale up???)

Those who didn’t continue up to the restaurant, can be really sorry. You missed a great time, some delicious gulyás and some hilarious scenes as well. Giving Head was so desperate, she was only willing to share her leftover food in exchange for some male company. Unfortunately, the blackmail was unfruitful. Well, keep trying, better luck next time :o)

NFG KINGA

Sept 7th - Hash #909

Hare : Cheesy Balls
Scribe: Oral Orgasm



We had a fairly short Hash today, starting off at our usual meeting spot, then taking a tram towards our final destination of Budafok. Cheesy Balls earned his name again today because he must have found the cheesiest and trashiest trail he could, laying a trail through garbage mounds, railway tracks and some other areas where I would not want to be during the night. Our model, Nata, was kind enough to pose with some of the garbage. Ten minutes later and halfway to our destination, having viewed some road kill, we found ourselves at our first beer stop, a little place called Pistaneni Sorozo, where we drank our first refreshment of the day (well, for some it was the first of the day) and dined on tastefully presented peanuts.

After waiting and waiting for Wash and Blow, Baldric and Jaws to come out of the washroom (why did they all go at the same time and why did they take so long?), we made a short jaunt to the Wine Festival in Budafok. After sampling some good ol’ deep fried Hungarian food and drinking wine and champagne, we hiked up a hill to our down down winery. However, when the runners got there, they were told that the winery was closed. Now, Cheesy Balls did say that he drank a lot of and went to a number of places on Saturday, so he must have forgotten to ask whether or not they were open on Sunday and what time they closed. It’s a good thing that the owners took pity on us and “allowed” us to buy several bottles of their fermented grape juice.

During our circle, our RA did a very good job in getting us to drink a lot of wine but was unable to keep control of his drunken brood. It’s a good thing he’s bald because if he wasn’t, he would have been pulling his hair out. When we FINALLY finished our circle, we stumbled our way down the hill to a recommended restaurant called Istvan Tatany. There, we settled our bones to listen to a Hungarian man singing and playing the keyboard. He was so good, that some of us felt inspired to join him. I decided to accompany him by doing my Muslim women’s cry of LALALALALALALA. He seemed to enjoy my addition because his hair almost stood on end. Then Wash and Blow stole the microphone and sang a song and made funny noises. After much dancing, falling on the ground, hiding behind aprons and doing a great rendition of a Hash song, we left the restaurant, to the sorrow of some of the Hungarian patrons.

When we reached the street, some of our party had disappeared into parts unknown (did they go somewhere else to drink more wine?). Six of us took the tram back, where we continued our appreciated talents by singing Yellow Submarine, but changing these two words to “yellow tram” in Hungarian. Our fellow travelers enjoyed our singing very much and were sad to get off. At Moszkva Ter, some die hearts resumed their merriment at the Moszkva Ter Café.

OnOn Oral Orgasm (that means orgasms in my mouth)

August 31th - Hash #908 Huvosfold

Hare: Balrdic + Eat Me
Scribe: Oral Orgasm

The Good Weather Hash Gods smiled upon us again this past Sunday. We all met at Batthnyi Ter at 11:30am, but it seems that many people were unable to tell time and arrived much later. After some confusion as to who had cars, where we were supposed to go next and where we were going to start (all this was shrouded in a cloud of mystery by our two Hares, Baldric and Pia), we finally set off for Moszkva Ter. We were then herded onto the number 59 tram and onto the funicular which took us all to our final destination, in Huvosfold. (Sad a Canadian-Hungarian can't spell this word correctly)

We were off to a nice start (little did we know what was to come) with the runners expending their energies finding the false trails for the slower people – the walkers . We wound our way through many nice neighborhoods, finally coming to a street where our walking Hare, Pia, seemed quite confused and looked lost. Apparently, a couple of the flour markers were to be found only under huge piles of dirt. The Hares de Jour forgot to contact the city of Budapest to tell them not to dig up the street on a Sunday thereby confusing us simple folks as to our whereabouts?

While we were waiting for Pia to find the way for us, the last of the walkers finally caught up with us. Now, not many of us can claim to “have felt the earth move under our feet” but Aggie can. She caught up with us and showed us a very nasty looking scratch running from her hand to her elbow. Hmmm, I wonder who or what she was thinking of?

With disaster having been avoided (Pia found the trail and we decided that Aggie didn’t need to be hospitalized), we were back on the trail again. After some more scenic streets and having walked for many kilometers now, we arrived at the top of a gravity defying “hill” where we walkers had to form a “chain gang” to help each other down. Our visiting Hasher, Phyllis (who wouldn’t divulge her age, but we put her anywhere between 0 and 100), took the challenge quite well,considering that she was wearing almost brand new aspiraldas (sorry, but don’t know how to spell this), which were definitely not suited for gravity defying mountain goat trails.

When we thought that it was all over (Pia kept telling us we were almost at our destination), we came to a barb wire fence we had to crawl through, then we had to climb a small mountain, then descend this small mountain. I think by this time, there was some swearing and threats going on towards our Hares de Jour. Then, out of the blue, a green angel appeared – a ranger who showed us an easy way down the small mountain, who held our hands and wasn’t bad to look at. He brought us to another, who then proceeded to lecture us about the protected area we just tramped through. Apparently, there was a conservation project going on and they had seeded the area with special seeds. Maybe Baldric will know in the future that if there is a fence keeping people out, it should not be torn down and ignored.

We finally made it to the top of the next small mountain where our runners were impatiently waiting.

We were all pretty hungry by this time and just wanted to get the circle over with, but noooooo, our fearless Baldric Hare, drew out the circle, giving out as many wrong doings as he possibly could. But, someone did a nice deed and brought a bottle of white wine, thinking of Petra. Sandra also joined in drinking the wine, but it kept disappearing at a fairly fast rate. It was finally observed that Hot Steam was drinking behind everyone’s back. When we ran out, she very vocally demanded more.

Since our circle was in a public park, a couple of old Hungarian ladies complained about the excessive noise we were making, so removed ourselves from the park to the street where we proceeded with the christening Pia, who is now called Eat Me, and Phyllis, who is now called Fill (Phyl?) This Hat. Once the ceremonies were over, we were FINALLY able to go to a restaurant to eat. A few die hearts proceeded to Moszkva Ter Café, where we consumed a bit more alcohol. So, what’s new?



OnOn Oral Orgasm (that means orgasms in my mouth)

Unnecessary Censorship

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August 24th 2008 Hash #907 - Gellert

Hare: Sir Dickman Jarkko
Scribe: Rabies
Gellert Hill Hash #90? of the Budapest Hash House Harriers

24th of August 2008 was a hash Sunday for BPH3, but also the closing day of the Beijing Olympic Games in China. Being Hungarian, in the morning I had to watch the whole water-polo final between the US and the Hungarian teams. It was worth for it! The Hungarian team won the match (to 14:10) and also the gold medal, resulting also quite a few, well deserved down-downs for all looser Americans in the hash circle celebrations later, in the afternoon.

Because of the polo final, I was slightly late for the hash meeting place, but far not the last arriving there, for sure. Yet, at the end of the day it was me, whom the acting RA selected and appointed to scribe and describe the event. One can hardly get a just and fair treatment in our times, particularly not on the hash, I know, but why? RA Sir Baldric, I ask you: Why do you have a pick always on me? You are not American, are you?

The appointment came too late and as a surprise to me. By that time I got far too drunk to start listening to boring jokes, names and other details, what I didn't care for too much at the beginning, neither, to tell the truth. All I can definitely remember was the name of the hare, Sir Dickman Jarkko, the Flying Fin, and his Harley Davidson. Jarkko had lost one of my hairy balls, what he borrowed from me for laying the trail, so I do not want to waste more words on him. Read the preliminary correspondence copies here, if you insist to know. Also, instead of asking me, just check Jack's photo album below for identifying the participants. (By the way, many thanks for the promptly published pictures, Dear Jack Bang Cock!)

In a hopeless effort trying to recollect myself, here are some further (although rather dim) memories from the event, coming up slowly, one by one:

-It was a "B" to "B" hash, meaning that the car-less ones had to take the tram from meeting place "A", then walk up to the starting and ending point "B", called Busulo Juhasz (Broken Hearted Shepherd) restaurant. The run itself must had been picturesque, the views from Gellert hill used to be always pretty spectacular, and challenging, too. This time even a few professional cliffhangers were practicing along our trail, with ropes and all that kind of equipment of theirs. Half of the pack got lost halfway, of course, but they still could manage to arrive to the Beer Wagon well before the others. How? They must have committed a crime, presumably a mass short cutting, while the four of us, the proper front runners, (Ginger Pussy, Baldric, Sir Dickman and Rabies), wasted our time with amusing dozens of amazed and stunned tourists at the foot of the "Freedom Statue" on the hilltop, by singing there a "Father Abraham" in public.

-The circle was something extraordinary, lasting almost for two hours. We have eradicated completely the huge amount of beer on stock, except for a few cans of non-alcoholic pseudo hash fuel, and one last bottle of very cheap white vine saved alone for Andy Cheesy Balls, who couldn't stop whining always for vine and against beer, especially against the "Special" beer of the day. You should had seen Hash Beer BC's face with the desperate expression on it, when realizing that all the three cool boxes in his Beer Wagon car got totally emptied.

-"Pia" is a Hungarian slang word for booze. Living up the local meaning of her name, blond Dane Dame Pia was standing up as the squat-in bar maid, probably the most attractive one ever seen in hash circles. She promised to co-hare Sir Baldric on the next run, only in order to deserve a proper hash name. I have already a suggestion... I can also recall the breath taking smile of another blond woman in the circle. She is a Russian citizen living in Ukraine, if I'm not mistaken, or vice versa. Can somebody tell me her name? And, if possible, her phone number too?

-Similar to the Beijing Olympic Games, there were many different nationalities represented in the circle, one way or another. Norway, for instance, was represented only with a chocolate bar sent by our Linda Cunning Linguist, staying in the country of Fiords for a while. Jack Bang Cock acted as her attorney, when solemnly distributed chunks of this dessert around. Another Danish Viking in the circle, Thomas Smokey Donkey praised the Norwegian chocolate vehemently, claiming that Swiss chocolate is nothing compared to this product. Sacred Scandinavian chauvinism...

-According to recent hash correspondence, (see some copies below), the hard core of the pack continued the OnOn debauchery in the For Sale Pub, short after being expelled from Nevada Pub in the afternoon. At the end of the night many of them were leaving their unpaid bills there to poor Jaws and Sir Dickman, respectively, but with no respect at all, I must say. Shameful, unfair behavior, just like appointing me to scribe... No, I was not there in the For Sale, for sure, I was certainly not part of this dirty atrocity, no matter how drunk I got in the afternoon. Why can I be that firm? Well, I have asked my dear wife, Ildiko Tokaji Sweet. She confirmed me, and mind: She doesn't only know everything, but she knows everything better, too.

OnOn, Rabies, your official HR (Hell Raiser)

Ps.: Damned! Beer came first, so I forgot again to buy one of the stylish, red and/or blue BPH3 #900th tee-shirts for my dear wife, what I wanted to do for so long! Never mind, next time. By the way... Have you bought yours? Hurry up, before your Haberdasher & Hash Beer Jack Bang Cock runs short of shirts too...

August 17th 2008 Hash #906 - Gellert

Hare: Broken Rabies

The lost and found hash

As you know it’s a religious experience whenever Rabies sets a trail. For all you “lost” hashers, be aware that Rabies has threatened to set more and more trails. Heed my advice today, don’t let Swiss Ball Marking (not that is SBM not SMB) take over the hash.

Last Sunday - usual meeting place and as usual, we were late! Hell we take a lot or organizing to get out of the house before midday on Sunday. But we were a full contingent of IIa’ers with the Hash Puppy in toe. A great start to the run through the castle district, a small dispute with some authority figures extended out trail. But who could complain about being in such a lovely place when its 30degrees.

We soon left the Var and headed in Gellert direction, to where I was told Rabies lived. So at each corner I expected the trail to end. How wrong I was. It went on and on. Come & Go walked with Eagle Eye on his shoulders as she was already tired. I also thought he had the Hash Puppy, so took advantage to chat and chat, vaguely watching for blobs.

We had a park stop and sang Father Abraham to the modern founding father of Turkey. Then it was off again and I was becoming impatient to know where Rabies lived (AKA, the end of the trail). Around this time I asked Come&Go where the Hash Puppy was. He seemed to have also been chatting too much and had lost sight of her (potentially dangerous and she is not de-sexed yet).

Sex Tax and I decided to put a bit of energy into it at this time and sprinted off to find the FRB’s to see if they had the Hash Puppy or had at least seen her. As ST and I almost went into cardiac arrest the FRB’s were seen reversing back to Rabies house (they had simply run on by) and the Hash Puppy was safely with them.

It is interesting to note that the Hash Puppy could not move on Monday and did not dig up any part of the garden that day due to being utterly exhausted…we will be bring HP back for more exercise with the FRB’s.

On On

Prague 888

Good to see other hashs as clueless as ours in getting out invitations on time (just in last week). Not only that but why in the world didn't they do this last month on the 8th....that's what I call poor planning but they are expecting 80 visitors vs our 4 :(

PRAGUE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

888^th Run & 24^th Anniversary Hash Weekend PROGRAMME

29^th - 31^st August 2008

From 1 July-YOU GET FINED DRINKING BEER in the STREET! Be careful!

Prague H3 is celebrating their 888^th run and 24 years of Hashing in the greatest of all European cities with the greatest beer!

Thursday, August 28^th

· 14.30: meet Goldilocks (Ian Broadhead: +49 173 298 4917) at Café Slavia, Smetanovo Nabrezi, for a walk and pub visits!

· 'Red Dress Run' - actually the 4th Prague RDR! [NOT included in the weekend price so bring money for non 'down down' drinks & dinner and charity collection] Meet from 19.00 at pub 'Jama, V Jame 7, Prague 1: www.jamapub.cz/eng - not far from Wenceslas Square/between Stepanska and Vodickova streets. A - A run - i.e., leave your stuff at the pub! Run starts at 20.00!!

Friday, August 29^th

· 10.30: meet Goldilocks in the courtyard with the fountain next to Malostranske Metro, Mala Strana, for a walk and pub visits - all day if you want!

· REGISTRATION from 17.00-19.30 at Restaurant Manes, Masarykovo nabrezi 250, Prague 1 (embankment): www.restaurace-manes.cz - not far from the National Theatre closer to Jiraskuv most (bridge). Collect your Hash Haberdashery/t-shirt, Hash Handout and Goody-Bag! leave your luggage at restaurant, as we will return there for the 'circle' / Registration open all evening for latecomers!

· DINNER from 17.00-19.30. You'll receive vouchers to cover a meal + three beers/wine/soft drinks, so please bring Czech money for any extra beers/drinks.

· PUB FUN 'RUN' starts: 19.30. Discover riverside joys of Prague plus Quiz 'Hunt for Libuse'!

· 'DOWN-DOWNS' at approximately 22.00 back at Restaurant Manes, address as above.

Saturday, August 30^th

● ANNIVERSARY RUN No. 888- starts at 12.00 from Jinonice metro station (outside), Prague 5, yellow(B)line. Beware of the 'Heller Check'! Look in the Goody Bag for your Heller & bring it along! Leave bags in Hash beer van.

● 'DOWN-DOWNS' & PICNIC LUNCH: approx. 15.00; 'circle' at Barrandov at end of tramline.

· DINNER starts: 19.00 at Restaurace Na Ořechovce, Východní 17, Prague 6; www.naorechovce.cz: 2 beer kegs with free beer till they run out! Plus you'll receive vouchers for: 3-course meal + coffee/tea plus 4 more beers/wine/soft drinks

Theme: 'Visitors to Prague Castle'.... so let your imagination run riot!.............best costume wins a prize!

- Dancing to the Doobie Doobie Band (50's & 60's rock & roll)!

- Hash Entertainment - come with a joke, song, or sketch!

- Raffle/Tombola - bring something from your home Hash or your local beverage!

Sunday, August 31^st

● ROYAL RUN (HANGOVER HASH) starts at 10.30a.m. from Klarov: green grass opposite Malostranske Metro, Prague 1, Mala Strana: metro stop Staromestska, green(A) line, & walk over Manes bridge; or trams 12,18, 22 or 23. Visitors may store their luggage in the Hash beer van and pick it up at the 'circle'.

● DOWN-DOWNS - on otherside of Petřín Hill....& GOOD-BYE HASHY HUGS & KISSES!

· Approx 13.00: LUNCH possibly at Restaurant Petřínské terasy, halfway up Petřín Hill (not far from the funicular railway) in Prague 1, MaláStrana (Lesser Quarter) - at your own expense!

Weekend contacts/mobiles for MisManagement Committee:

Bouncing Czech /BC/ (Irena Brichta )- MisManager +420 602 200 882

Brigitte Burda /BB/ (Brigitte Lintner)- Hash Haberdasher + 420 724 221 605

Yankee Dong /YD/ (Hugh Eland) - GM + 420 775 214 837

Sperm Doctor/SD/ (Steve Trowbridge) - Hash Cash + 420 608 333 278

Seldom Hasher's Party Photos

Some of you may remember the Tassi girl who rarely attends the Hash but makes it to the parties :p, well she took some photos at SexTax and Pussy Willow's rockin' St. Istvan's birthday party. The photos can be found here. Please click the lady below....

July 27th Hash #903 - City Park

Hare : Frustrated Frog + NFG B

Scribe: Can't Say No

Le On On Y Va Run

We meet per usual at Batthany Ter. I was late as I brought le hash puppy with me, thus set task of writing le run report. Le run started at Heros Square and of course we all lost each other before le trail even started.

Approx. 5 minutes after starting we had le beer arret. A welcome relief due to le heat. Then it was on on around the park through les enfants playground and down down le slide. Le blobs were somewhat difficult to find in le correct order but we managed with a little help from les Hares.

Le circle was by hosted by le St A. and we bevenued several virgins who we hope will be be back. If you had not guessed already le run was set by le French Frog and la Bee.

Until le prochain run,
Can’t Say le NON

Run Report submitted by Le Hash Puppy: Goldie
Sniff sniff, oh yes scratch a little bit more to the right.
Snuff snuff, yep I like all this attention. Run and but more but never over exert oneself.
I might be back – especially if I can fart in the car and blame it on Mommy again!

July 20th Hash #902 - Outside Budakeszi

Hare: St A
Scribe: Cheesy Ball who thinks he is better than everyone else and therefore doesn't have to write up a report on the best hash every had in Budapest, Hungary, or all of Eastern MFing Europe.

Cheesy Balls has let the hash down again!!!!

July 13th Hash #901 - Rosadomb

Hash Number 901,

The Morning After

After the marathon length 900 Hash day I was sure there was not to be a morning after hash for me. But as the minutes ticked past 10:59, enthusiasm got the better of rational judgment and I momentarily forgot the ach in by quadriceps. With a bright sunny sky above and a foggy memory I trod the warming pavement to become the last arrival among a group of some 15 over zealous hashers including several out of town guests.

A trail was set by our very own GM, Sextax. It was reported that our co-GM Pussy Willow helped but I doubt it. The hash trail roamed the ups and downs of the second district including a customary stop at Gul Baba’s tomb, for the easterners among us I suppose. As the heat wore on runners split from the walkers for a nearer beer stop and rest. This stop turned out to be a relaxing experience on the roof top of the Bath next to Lucas Bath, the name of which escapes me.

When replenished it was then back on the short upward trail to the second beer stop at the GM’s flat. To our delight, host Pussy Willow had waiting snacks and ice-cold beer. Most likely to make up for an ill representation in the trail setting process. Nonetheless, their flat near the clouds was a welcomed belief from the heat. The rather lengthy beer stop came with the experience of viewing the British game of Cricket, or at least a part of one. And whether welcomed or not Pussy Willow provided excellent commentary on the rules.

After really cold beer, snacks and the Cricket match, much to my chagrin there was more hash trail to endure. And although the hare promised it was all downhill, it wasn’t really. But alas, we ended up in the vicinity of Moskva Ter and a nice, although late, lunch

Well that’s is your hash report, its not a long retort so drink it down, down, down etc.