April 29th - #846 Látó-, Kecske-, and Homok hegy

Hares: Rabies and Cunning Linguist

In yet another, in a long string of, beautiful Sunday mornings I was off to Batthány tér to see what Rabies and Cunning Linguist had cooked up for today’s run. After catching a preview from Cheesy Balls at the Hash social Thursday night I was expecting some pain to come from the run. The out-of-towner, who requested a Monday run was unaccustomed to the hills of Budapest and slithered back to the middle-eastern flatness of home.

Ascending from the bowels of Batthány metro station, I spied a hash haberdasher’s wet dream. Decked from head to toe in all manner of hashware, a guest, Yawning Onion, from the US, by way of Brazil and his Brazilian doctor (On Ya Vanya and Bundling Board; Fortaleza, Brazil ) wife, who must have been bamboozled by his oily American charm, were trying to find our starting point, not so easy since the rakpart was choked with parents watching their horrors finish up a biathlon (not the cool ski/shot one). I generously led them to our starting point and awaited more hashers to show.

One-by-one they slowly trickled in, Sex Tax and Pussy Willow, Rabies, the French NFG* who name I think is Thomas, Non-Smokey Donkey, and finally Cunning Linguist who did her best Baldrick, “I can come 35 minutes late since I am a hare” imitation. Off we 9 sped on the #11 bus towards Csatárka for another run into the Budai Távédelmi Köryet.

Surprising to everyone, especially me, was when we were set upon by rabid ticket inspectors (ON A BUS!, ON A SUNDAY!!! WTF?) demanding to see our tickets. I am routinely a “black” rider so I thought I knew how to handle the situation. I summoned up some righteous indignation and my best excuse for not having a ticket: “The ticket machine at the Metro station took my money and didn’t give a ticket. Then when I called the number listed, they hung up on me since they could not speak English, what am I supposed to do? I am but a dumb foreigner”. After a few “ers” and “ahhs” she left confused for the back of the bus without even a “goodbye” or “sorry for the inconvenience”.

After Smokey Donkey informed us all of his criminal record back in Denmark, and that everyone has one. In the back of the bus Sex Tax was receiving a tongue bath from some strange bitch he just meet. She was kind enough to pose in our group photo before we set off for the run.

We circled and Rabies instructed all as to “how to hash” and the particulars of the day’s hash. When he asked for a show of hands for those who were choosing to walk, all but the hare’s hands went up. Finally, unable to withstand the melancholic look on his face, Sex Tax and I agreed to take up the challenge. Off we ran.

It was a cleverly laid route full of checks, 6 or 7 by my count, and falsies, through the slopes of Látó, Kecske, and Homok** hegy. Since SexTax and I were the only non-hare runners, we had to run down all the false trails. Lucky for me SexTax was not so good at picking which direction Rabies would send us next. I kept giving him first choice as to which path to follow and for all but one he choose incorrectly. He probably wound up running an extra km or 2.

Arriving at Oroszlán szilka***, Rabies proceeded to try and mate with the rock. “It’s slippery” he said, and we knew he had been there before. More than just a monument of the trail, it also turned out to be the start of an uphill scamper to a Hash View”. We billy-goated our ways up the rocky face of Kecskehegy to be treated to some beautiful views of Hűvösvölgy. Soon the walkers caught up and also enjoyed the scenic vista. Finally we pushed on for the final leg of our journey.

On this route we came across the Arpád kilátó (lookout station). It was a beautiful view of the city below. We felt a few sprinkles which turnout to be nothing. After a short rest we set off.

Back at the starting point Cunning Linguist tucked into some turo-retés she had squirreled away before the run and the rest of us legged it to the corner shop for some beer for the circle.

Down-downs were generously handed out to guilty parties, mostly due to the ample amount of beer which was purchased. To the hares, to Sex Tax for bestiality, to the lot of us for some arcane rule about sunglasses Rabies invented on the spot, to Rabies for pointing on the hash, to the foreigners for unremembered offences, to the NFG for mismatched socks, and others. The circle closed with Sex Tax and Pussy Willow offering/being forced to teach the NFG “the way of the hare” for #846 next week, and much of the hash heading to Trombitas for another excellent meal.

On On****,

StAnus PSOSD

*New Fucking Guy

**An interesting pluralization

***Lion’s rock

****Cunning Linguist was designated scribe but I was bored and will add anything here she writes.

More photos here

April 22th - #845 HármasHatárHegy (HHH)

Hares: Cunning Linguist & St. Anus
(Patron Saint of Smoking Donkeys)

HASH 845 - Sunday 22 April 2007

Summer has arrived early in Budapest and the Sunday of Hash 845 followed the recent trend by dawning sunny and warm. The usual suspects gathered at 11.30, the only unusual flutter of excitement was the arrival of a George (C)loony look-alike who turned out to be Chris, a very occasional attendee and better known for his salsa skills last displayed at a British Embassy bash. The sun disappeared for a short while when BB flashed his well upholstered Buda Belly, causing some distress to those standing closest and to the two hash virgins, Judit and Thomas. The destination this week was Harmashatar-hegy (495m) and the hares were Cunning Linguist and St. Anus, making their first attempt to lay a trail.

The long uphill start soon saw BB relegated from runner to walker although he remained as ‘horny’ as ever throughout the day. Runners and walkers arrived at the top with only one missing hasher, Lazy Fucker, having lived up to his name by retiring with back trouble during the ascent. Views of Budapest duly impressed the hashers and interest centered on the paragliders taking off from a nearby hill.

A brief tour of gun emplacements followed before an unexplained and almost unheard of event split the pack, with BB, St. Anus, Sex Tax, Hulk, Aggie and Andy heading for the beer stop whilst the rest, led astray by CL, carried on following the trail. Deep worry about the rest of the pack meant that the drinkers could only have two pints of beer each before racing off to find the missing hashers 45 minutes later. A detour to the paragliders take-off site in search of Rabies friends (yes, he does have some!) was unsuccessful apart from Rabies claiming he finds it difficult to get up these days but once he is up it lasts for hours – we humoured him by listening respectfully and trying not to laugh.

Runners then set off on the trail again whilst Aggie and ST took the leisurely route back to the cars. Meanwhile the walkers had been having a bit of ‘retail therapy’ as The Dyke and Smokey Donkey traded last season’s haberdashery, ready for the 2007 ‘uj kolletion’. Hashers united in the circle, the major events being a Rabies-style lesson on the do’s and don’ts of trail laying – destructive criticism delivered in a quiet, caring and considerate way!

A hash-naming is always an important event and Aggie duly received her name of Haggis accompanied by copious amounts of flour and beer with her hair taking on the consistency of dough. Sad news of the departure from Budapest of Lazy Fucker led to a sentimental and heart-felt chorus of ‘fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off’ to the strains of Auld Lang Syne.

Those going for lunch decamped to the Trombitas pub on Moszkva Ter via the best bakery in Budapest for pogacsa. BB had gone home and rejoined the group looking very sartorial in a panama hat. Excellent food all round, especially the edible soup bowls. Arrangements made for various pub meetings at the end of the week and home to sleep off another successful and happy hash. On, on.

Sex Tax and Pussy Willow

Social Hash results

Hello hashers,

Well Thursday night's social at Bastille Bar was quite nice by all accounts aside from those that showed up; that is, the beer was cold, plentiful and cheap.

Arriving at 8:30 to view Smokey Donkey glumly staring at his small glass of mineral water. Alas, the test result have not been return meaning SD is on the wagon for another month. Doesn't matter, just means that there will be more for the rest of us!!!

Next came BB and the Dyke, who unfortunately will not be with us Sunday due to a long overdue trip the the hither regions of pre-Trianon Hungary. Please be careful with the driving as we need the hash-beer wagon to return in one piece.

After sitting and start his down-down, Cheesy Balls, relayed the story of Monday night's hash. Rabies, Cheesy, Hot Flush, and the out-of-towner, were bounding out of the woods, when the were set upon by a very angry and territorial animal, no, it wasn't Smokey. This foul beast decided to take a nibble of the nicest leg possible and since I don't run on Mondays, Hot Flush's was chomped on.

To make a long story short: blood was drawn, the dog ran off, owner summoned, a night of rest, infection set in, hospital visit, knives drawn, infection sliced out, bed rest required.

This is how I hear it so this is how I tell it. Everyone hope for a speedy recovery for you Hot Flush and we all missed you at the social.

Finally, Nora, who, on her virgin hash, was also hared, joined us. She is looking forward to making more runs, and of course more social events. She can't wait for a hash name said something about really wanting to go to San Francisco...

Once again hats off to Baldrick on his fantastic London run. I think I might be finishing up right about now.

See you all Sunday...

Stanus

For the hares...

http://www.pbfcomics.com/

April 15th - #844 Széchenyi-Sashegy

Hares: Baldric and Virgin Nora

-----
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Please find attached your personal copy of the most recent dissertation made for your meticulous study and kind consideration, elaborated exclusively for serious hashers by our exceedingly respectable hashologist, the highly honored Dr. Cheesy Balls Ph.D.

OnOn,

Rabies

-----

I am once again challenged with the task of mating pen to parchment, err, rather fingers to keyboard, to recount the proceedings of Hash number 844. This destiny I must say was ruled in a greater part by the scheming and connivance from members of the mismanagement committee than to my tardiness.

And so the day began with a mustering of some 17 or more souls on bright glistening morning. We assembled at the usual rendezvous to await the sounding call of the hares Nora and Baldrick. Nora prompt as she was proved ill equipped to seize the moment and lead us toward the start of the hash course, not knowing exactly where it was. Thus we waited for Lord Baldrick, and waited and waited some more, long past my arrival I must say. Finally in a flurry of consternation, the spotted sun dome appeared. With little delay we sped off towards the base of Gellart hills and the start of the hash run/walk.

Pointing the way far above his now tarnished sphere, Lord Baldrick led the way. On up we ran, and walked, along a winding road, on up through a precipice and across an apple blossomed meadow. Then onward and further up through a wooded path and another winding road, on upward we sped, (well, maybe not exactly sped), but up further, more, up, and still more up. The %&$# hare had us running up for the better part of an hour. Finally we reached the supposed summit and beer stop.

Panting and sweating we anticipated the arrival of a cool one, only to find the beer stop was actually a pasty shop that did not sell beer. Learning of this dreadful miscalculation, the resourceful and quick-witted Lord Baldrick announced the course to another beer stop. With only a minor delay we were again upward bound following the cog railway for another kilometer to arrive at a second beer stop that, much to our delight actually did sell beer.

After a refreshing libation we were once again on the Baldrick trail. Down through a tree studded park we went, on down through a darkened forest path, down further across a meadow sparkling with dandelions and more down. Onto a roadway we trotted, down into a cemetery and through graveyards we went. Downward we descended, along another long roadway and still more down and down again. Finally far below our past respite we reached the starting point.

I cannot report on the events that occurred on the walk, however rumor has it that the trek was filled with lively conversation, ribald limericks suggestive cavorting, although we will never know for sure.

After quite a bit of further delay, walking laggards be held, the hash circle began. The Hares, Nora and Baldrick were accosted with the usual demonstrative accusations but most thought their course was inventive, picturesque and novel although it had its ups and downs.

The next order of business was to recognize two virgins. Nora, also a virgin hare, and Judith were summoned to the circle for the ritual proclamations. Nora exhibited some confusion and bewilderment at the accusation of being a virgin until it was explained that the term only applied to the Hash House Harrier group. But we thanked her for her confession and encouraged her to enlighten us with any details she might wish to share.

A returnee was next recognized. Natasha, after a two-year hiatus from the Hash has once again found the wisdom and fortitude to return to exercise, friendship, fresh air and a good measure of debauchery.

Offenses were dominated by the technology category, which drew many more members into the circle than those left to croon them. Yours truly along with a couple of cohorts were asked to submit to a down-down for reasons too frivolous to recall. And finally Baldrick was given another down-down for just being Baldric.

Thus ended the Hash circle number 844, to remain a distant memory to some and a vanquished one by most. The company less a few souls retired to enjoy further libations and a grand supper.

Yours truly,

Andy, aka Cheesy (surely I can get a better name) Balls

--------------

an amendum: An excellent meal was had by all takers who sped off for a very well camouflaged little étterem on the wrong side of the tracks at Kelenföld railway station. Cleverly disguised as a deserted shack amongst large gas pipes, on a rubble-strewn vacant lot, in the shadow of Wien Hotel, and on which I now guess is Május u. (XI), sits the eatery Réti Sas. The food recommendations by the NFG Nora were top notch.

April 7th - #843 Nagykovácsi "Easter Hash"

Rabbits: BB & the Dyke

---

Again apologies for wrong names.

This was expected to be a quiet run being Easter weekend, but more and more people kept turning up until there was 22. Svetlana even left overnight mass at 5 to be with us. Four cars so we all crammed in, myself looking after the beer in BB's boot. Followed by police car for a while so used our diplomatic immunity by pulling faces and showing my arse.

Drove out to Nagykovacsi where the 2 local virgin sisters Zsuzsa and Cecilia came from by strange coincidence (must be another valley of beautiful women). Up a dead end track where we assembled for a briefing from rabbits BB and Dyke of not to get lost as the local hunters shoot anything after dark. And then we were off on on up, following half missing marks (BB has no luck).

Came across first strange check - a circle with 3E inside. The runners then following walkers scattered and with a little help from BB found 3 hidden Easter eggs. Once found some were eaten by hungry not Hungary hashers, some given as gifts to the less fortunate hashers who didn't find one - so much love about.

Up to the top of Nagy Szenas for great views and then on on down to another egg check where a dog had left a number 2 in the middle (perhaps it couldn't find any eggs). Then on down into forest carpeted in flowers until they were trampled by hashers seeking eggs. The runners did an extra loop meeting up with the walkers for a five-egg check, to much hilarity. up a steepish slope to another egg-check by unexplained monument from 1926.

Two cyclists saw me looking and said: "Are you looking for an egg? Well, it's behind my bike."

So, I had to explain what was going on. Polluting Cunning Linguist, showed her arse without diplomatic immunity. Once eggs were found and Liz had come up the hill, then up some more, and down to down down where Liz was the first one there. Beers cracked open and down downs first for the rabbits with usual complaints too flat, etc.

We had to sing from the hash song book due to the lack of expert hashers. Next visiting Hair something and Cunning Linguist from Cologne but Singapore home hash. Next came the virgins Babak, Zsuzsa and Cecilia . Next BB asked for the returnees looking at Hiroko and she said: "No, I'm Japanese." A bit of confusion, but very funny. Another returnee On time from four years previous (a record?). Next 10 minutes late and run on batteries, and Babak (who wasn't very happy claiming he didn't know the rules) and either Zsuzsa or Cecilia had been spotted having sex on the hash so centre of the circle for down downs.

So many other offences but as we'd spent so long looking for eggs we had to go to On Inn. BB made a couple of trips to ferry eaters and then dropped Liz and Trina back into centre where they were wine tasting. Excellent food at Ordongos where we had a devilish good time. BB and myself for the second week running ordered the same food coincidentally, this time goose legs. Paid, said our goodbyes and had inspirational lift back to Moskva Ter where myself and St Anus caught the metro. I spent the night wine tasting trying to forget the fact that I was forced scribe, offered to hare next week and I'd stubbed my toe which hurt.

---

Easter Joke.
...what do you get if you throw boiling water down a rabbit hole...?
...you get a hot cross bunny...!

Another Joke.
An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. At the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first patient he sees, and the man proclaims:
"Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!"

The English doctor, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient,and immediately the patient launches into:
"Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it."

This continues with the next patient:

"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!"

"Well," the English doctor mutters to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last."

"Oh no," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the serious Burns unit."

Baldrick

April 1st - #842 Nagy/KisKevely - April Fools’ Day

Hares: Bald run (Hare-less)

I went to the meeting place (Batthyany ter square, as always) with my car this time, yet I was arriving late, actually for the last. Accordingly, I was picked to write the report on the run. Here you are.

On the previous Sunday hash there were too many hashers and not enough cars. This time it went just the opposite way; there were too many cars and not enough hashers, so I could leave my Suzuki at the car-park of the meeting place.

Mismanagement Committee did their best again, no hares were assigned and no trail was laid on Fools’ Day, of course. Finally, Bursting Bladder came up with the idea to run up to the Nagykevely peak of the Pilis mountains, from the quarry nearby the village of Csobanka. The directions given directly by Bursting Bladder were fit for a hash Grand Master of his multitude, absolutely useless, I mean. By mistake the walkers first climbed the Kiskevely (“Little Pride”) instead of the Nagykevely
(“Huge Pride”), for instance. The runners got also lost several times in the maze of tourists, trails and caves.

At the end of the day the pack came together on the correct peak, the “Huge Pride”, admiring the great views around and the private huge pride of Incredible Hulk. Hulk tied his waist around his waist in a way implicating to have a constant erection. “Things like that make Hulk really Incredible!” admitted Agi, Hulk’s dear one with a blush.

Agi somehow managed again to escape the naming ceremony during the afterhash circle ritual. Liam (?) was not so lucky. Despite of being pretty fresh in BH3, he was baptized on the spot, without mercy. His new hash name is “Saint Anus” from now on. It has also something to do with beetles called “szentjanosbogar” in Hungarian, although this is the local name of firebug, an insect not visible in this season at all. Yes, RA Smokey Donkey has mixed up everything again, as usually. The riddle remains unsolved forever, unless one of you can debug it for me.

“If you go to hash baptizing, make sure to wear some flour in your hand!” This was sung when we all assisted the naming ceremony. Too bad, but all cameras broke down, no pictures could be made on this hash. You have to believe my witness alone; flour with beer show well on blond hair too.

*Editor’s notes:This time the editor and the scribe is the same person: Yours Sincerely OnOn, Rabies, the official local old fart.

March 25th - #841 Buda Hills

Hares: Incredible Hulk and Ági.

There was much potential for this run to go wrong. The day before had been rainy and cold. The time-change happened Saturday night, and some hashers woke at 10:00, with plenty of time to make the hash, then realized it was actually 11:00. There was a shortage of vehicles.

But the morning of run 841 dawned sunny and bright, the hash waited by Battyany tér until everyone showed up, 10 Minutes Late helped with an extra car to get up into the hills of Buda, and we were on-on!

The run started straight up-hill along the roads, then into a trail in a nature preserve (which we entered without permit). We wound through hill and dale and tiny dirt roads for quite a while, then up past the houses of Buda. The day was gorgeous and the views were good all along, but at a particularly good view we stopped to admire. Silly pictures and possibly movies were taken, and there was a traditional hash performance of "Brother Abraham!"


We followed the tricky trail back down through hill and dale, and came back to the cars. We moved into the parking lot of a high school for the circle -- the security guard eyed us suspiciously, but decided that chasing us off would be too much trouble.

The circle was full of boozy good cheer. Hulk and Ági were given down-downs as hares. Three Times a Weenie, and Mona (see below) were given down-downs as visitors. Just Nitu was awarded a down-down as the sole virgin, and wondered what she had gotten herself into. Lehel, Zsuzsa, and French Maid were given down-downs as returnees, and it was on the religious portion of the circle.

Some of the usual penalties were assessed: Trigamist was a SCB (Short-Cutting Bastard). It was decided that Smoking Donkey was really walking too fast, and he was therefore down-downed for being FWB (Front Walking Bastard). Technology on trail was trouble for many: Lehel, French Maid and Nata for phones, Nitu and Hulk for digital cameras. Hash gear was also a problem for many -- most of the circle was in for no hash gear, and the singing of "down-down-down-down" was markedly weak. Lehel drank slowly enough for an entire chorus of "why are we waiting" to be sung. Smoking Donkey and Three Times a Weenie were called into the circle for abusing alcohol by dumping beer on him. Many additional penalties were assessed, and no one left with dry lips (although Cheezy Balls tried.)

Finally, naming's were discussed. It was decided that it was far overdue for Lehel to be named. He looks a little bit like a leprechaun, and:

------------------------------------------------------------------

A tall man is in the mens room using the facilities. A short guy, about knee high, comes in and pulls up a stool, and starts taking a pee too. The tall guy keeps looking over his shoulder. The little guy says, "What the hell are you looking at?" and the tall guy replies, "Well, for you being such a short little guy, you have an awfully big pecker on you!"

"Well," says the short guy, "Of course I do. I am a leprechaun, and I can have anything I wish for!"

"A leprechaun, you say? Does that mean you can give me any thing I wish for?!" asks the tall man.

"Well, yes, but I am a gay leprechaun, so I'll want a favor in return," says the short guy.

After thinking, the tall guy says, "Alright then. I want a million dollars, a brand new mansion, and 2 brand new Porsches!"

"Fine!" says the short guy, "its all yours! But first I want you to pull your pants down, bend over and grab your ankles!"

So, the guy does it, and the short guy climbs back up on the stool, and really gives it to him! The guy is just moaning. The short guy says, "So tell me, What is your name?" The tall guy moans, and stomping his feet, he says, "My name is Bruce....."

"Bruce? How old are you?" asks the short guy.

Stomping his feet even harder, he moans, "I'm 32!"

The short guy says, "Bruce? You're 32 and you still believe in Leprechauns?!"

------------------------------------------------------------

But he's a cyclist, and so we named him Flat Tired. (This turned out to be very appropriate!) Flour and beer were liberally dabbed on, and the hash baptism was complete.

Zsuzsa has also hashed for a long time without a name. As she works for Borsodi, we discussed some beer-themed names. We recalled that good beer has great head, so we named her Gives Head. Since it had gotten colder since L�hel's naming, Zsuzsa was baptized with flour alone.

Additional naming possibilities were discussed. Nitu looked like Pocahontas, so Poke-Her-Hontas was a good possibility, but she was let off the hook on account of it being her first hash. Mona claimed not to remember her second hash name (having already forgotten the
first). Since she's swedish and likes smelly rotten fish, Smells Like Fish was suggested, but she was let off with a promise to name her with triple beer and flour the next time she's in town without a name! Three Times A Weenie was down-downed for having been acting RA at her naming hash and having forgotten her name as well. It was noted that Ági is due for a naming, but no good ideas were proffered, and the naming was deferred. Ági, start doing more silly things on the hash, so we have fodder to name you! For example, a friend was named Pussy Pong after getting a ping-pong ball stuck "down there." Start living up to her example!

We then went on to a restaurant whose name I forget for Hungarian food and much much wine. Possibly due to the wine, I've forgotten more than just the restaurant name, but a boozy good time was had by all.

Flat Tired fell asleep halfway through the meal, and was allowed to snore peacefully, although we did take incriminating photos of him. Smoking Donkey ordered so much wine, that they ran out of the one we were working on. He tried to bargain the price of the more expensive wine they suggested substituting, but the waitress pointed out that it was a restaurant, and not a market.

Friendly rivalry went on between the Swedes and Danes. The Swedes came out ahead -- Smoking Donkey pointed out that, while, the Danes open people with open arms, the Swedes welcome them with open legs, which made us want to go to Sweden a lot more than Denmark.

Finally, after much additional BSing, we spilled out of the restaurant, did a quick round of the hash hymn on the roadside, and poured ourselves into cars. We fit 16 people into two cars, but
fortunately the police were eating pogacsas when we drove past the station and left us alone.

Russ Woodroofe - 3x a Weenie

------
Hulk's Photo Gallery

March 18th - #840 St. Paddy's Day

Hares: BangCock & Linda

Through some miscalculation of time I find myself anointed with the task of reporting on the recent Hash this past Sunday. It is with some annoyance that I write this account as it will primarily benefit those either too lame to get to the Hash or others who have given other worldly activities a priority both of which deserve a ribald tune at the least. None the less, on on with the lamentations.

The day began with a group of 13 hardy souls gathering at the blustering precipice some time after the appointed hour (yours truly included). This was suppose to be a St. Patrick’s day run with a prominent display of green hash gear. Some actually showed up in something green, other adorned themselves with a few sprinkles of green color and a few just blew off the whole idea.

The hares set a trial in the hills of Normafu*, apparently having heard about it the week before and too cerebrally handicapped to find a different venue. Thus we arrived at familiar grounds and, to our astonishment set off in a direction different from last week. The trail and route selected by the days Hares proved to be more fitting to a goat than either walking or running on only two limbs. So treacherous was the way, that one of our numbers abandoned the outing and retreated to never-neverland. Thus reduced to 12 the group made its way down canyons, over ridges and through craggy rock laden rabbit runs to arrive at the bottom of the mountain, and the end the run.

The group was equally astonished to discover that the end of the run was several kilometers from the starting point where, was left all manner of personal belongings and the BEER. However an energetic pair of resourceful Hashers ventured back to the cars through the airways and on foot returning with the refreshments. The Hash circle included the usual verbal abuse of the Hares, particularly for bringing us on a one-way route. Following that, there was a salute and recognition to 2 new virgins, one of which claimed to have actually run before, but I doubt it.

The highlight of the circle proved to be the naming of Linda. She was sent off to distant lands while the now beer laden group debated over the proper name with which to baptize Linda as a true Hasher. After several rounds of nominations and votes a decision was achieved (odd). Summoned back to the circle, Linda was made to kneel and receive the ceremonious dousing of beer and floor**. As she bent forward for the procedure we were treated to the site of a chartreuse waste band, upon which some uncouth Hashers cast gobs of flour. In a brief instant the white powder immediately slide past the waistband to nether regions below. Thus anointed it was professed that Linda shall forthwith and ever after be known to all Hashers throughout the known world and beyond as Cunning Linguist. Yes that’s right, lets say that again but not too fast. CUNNING LINGUIST.

As the poor girl was allowed to rise we noticed a profusion of tiny white beer muffins cascading down her Chestnut locks. This sight only stimulated our thoughts about what became of the floor that was now firmly entrenched in that nether region beyond the chartreuse waistband. Being rather fond of backsides, I had several illuminating thoughts myself about its circumstance, none of which I dare state here.

At the close of the circle the group retreated to the adjoining eatery for a meal and what else, more beer. Although filling the food was less palatable than previous visits to this same establishment, although rumor has it that it gets better in the summer when the construction sawdust has had a chance to clear.

Thank you for reading and in hopes of not repeating this process, I will endeavor to arrive promptly at future hashes. Yours truly, Andy aka (seeking a new name***) Cheeseyballs

Hulk's Hash Flash

Editor’s (Rabies) notes:
*What a splendid spelling, indeed worth for a first class local language-torture medal. Congratulations, Cheesy Balls!
**After all, was it floor, or flour, or flower?
***Are you surely seeking a new name??? I have never heard of anybody being any happier with his/her new hash name as with the previous one…

Last fall's riots: A documentary

Peter Tatrallyai is a veteran member to the Budapest Hash House Harriers. He was one of the innocent victims of police terror, interviewed in the here attached documentary clip, one of those many unlucky people who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, namely in Budapest on the 23rd of October 2006. Being a Canadian-Hungarian citizen, Peter used to be the spokesman at the yearly "Terry Fox" charity runs on Margitsziget island for ages, an event normally attended also by many from BH3. I just wonder if Peter is going to be in the Margtszigeti Stadium on the next Budapest Terry Fox Run, collecting again money for local cancer research?

OnOn, Rabies

Here is the video from the site, it's all in Hungarian, a bit bloody but interesting to watch since there are close up shot from what happened up close to the events last year.
http://www.pestylaszlo.com/megsebzett_hun.php

Feburary 25th - #837 Red Dress Run

Hares: Rabies and BB

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TO Rabies:

Here's the report. Can you put it where it should go (not the bin) and include me on the mailing list.

Apologies for wrong names etc. as I'm only new.

-Baldrick

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To bed at 8am, dragged myself out at 11, metro, tram, ran down rakpart, unusually large amounts of pigeons about - strange, to see a river of red in the distance. Lots of joviality as I was last arriving, mainly from men dressed in red dresses - odd.

Offered some 'Rabies made' mulled wine which was drunk during photo session and hash cash payment. Flask of wine and BB's (he was dressed in red dressing gown and old maids wig) broom was deposited in BB's car where Rabies was presented with a blond wig and red head band. Rabies and BB, the hares, led the run to start with - strange, and the Dyke (dressed in shimmering red skirt from the 80s), nursing a sprained ankle from hash on ice, led the walkers.

The trail had been laid (for 2 hours) the previous day with the surprise decision to use Trill as the markers, so very popular with the flying rats. A number of times the runners were looking carefully for markers to be faced with scared pigeons flying towards scared runners faces. Route went directly from Batthyany ter, more or less straight up many steps to enter the castle walls with the hares checking the checks hadn't been too badly bird damaged.

Unusual checks on the way like ones with circles around posts. Also a few false trails which lay undamaged (strange fact that pigeons don't like food in an F shape). Early checkpoints were no problem until a lady check (two circles with nipples) appeared.

The walkers caught up and helped, but to their disgrace the hares had to show them the way. Came across the memorial to the last Turkish defender of the city which called for a rendition of father Abraham (for those who don't know it involves a lot of arm and leg movements in some kind of coordination).

The route continued, up surprisingly, to the military museum square where a man supposed to be taking a picture of his wife took one of Hulk (dressed in red evening wear from only the best fashion charity houses that London has to offer) instead. We were all getting different reactions from members of the public. From the completely shocked, to the everyday occurrence of Budapest hashes finest dashing round dressed in red shouting on, on. Great views and some downhill, through what the girls were led to believe was a men's toilet entrance, to Bangkok's route from 3 weeks earlier. A few falsies down the steps but this time we stayed on the flat and to a square with horse and rider statue.

Rabies drew our attention to the shiny balls (of the horse not the rider) which had been caused by students touching them for good luck in their exams. A few of us climbed up to do the same even though our exam times look long over. Apparently the penis had been broken off the horse by a female student using it as a handle to get to the testicles...such is life.

Onto a nearby beer stop in a quaint old pub only big enough for Hash Cash and Dyke so most sat outside drinking one of Hungary's finest beers - Gosser from Austria, and cracking a few sexist jokes, and less funny ones. It was time to go but Linda (in red post-shower outfit, I think) had just brought a beer and Andy (red BHHH top) couldn't finish his straight away, so the seasoned drinkers sang 'why are we waiting'. Perhaps it was the beer but I cant remember much of the rest of the route, but it must have included all the sites around the fisherman's bastion as one mark looked like it had been laid by the fisherman himself after too many fish.

The runners who were drivers and the runners who didn't want the extra mileage (kilometerage) turned off, but 6 runners followed Rabies on his extra run including walker now runner, Svetlana (wearing special running jeans...oh and red coat). This route went through the palace area and an attempted short cut through a museum, but the exit was blocked so funny looking discussion between Rabies and ticket seller, being very professional, like its OK to have a man dressed in shorts and blond wig in her museum. Down to Erzsebet bridge and up lots of steps to the citadel taking in fantastic views across the Duna. Dropped down again to Rabies house meeting up with walkers delivered by car for a down down in the garden. This was run by Hash Cash who had a little altercation with Bangkok who finished his beer off over Hash Cash. Neighbours wandering what was going on, disturbing their quiet Sunday afternoon, a few driving off for less noisy surroundings.

A few misdemeanors, like technology use, but fortunately no lack of hash wear, as I'd left mine at home in the rush. To Rabies abode, where his wife had prepared much needed soup and bread. Polished off a few beers creating a beer tower with the empties, knocked over by the less sober. Everyone in good spirits (except the parrot) with intellectual discussions on why there was a security chain and lock on the toilet (by the parrot). Then it was time to go as BB was threatening to take off his shoes. Most got a lift back with BB and Dyke but Linda, Zsuzsa, Brit lady whose name I cant remember and myself caught the bus back to the poor areas. Altogether a fun day had by all even though Latrine didn't get to fall over after 3 attempts.

Baldric

Hulk's Sideshow

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The Real Bang Cock

All I can say is OUCH!!!

I want to comment on yesterday's trail.

To those who missed it, you missed a great event. We had a goodly group of hashers in attendance and attracted one virgin, Aggie from Hungary via Bath in England. It turned out to be the Budapest Hash's First Red Dress Run thanks to several stalwarts who cast their fates to the wind and actually came wearing bonifide red dresses. Those brave souls were our own Incredible Hulk, BB and Dyke as you can see from the pictures Hulk graciously forwarded.

Also notable and deserving comment was Rabies for his "flowing golden tresses". BB is to be complimented too for the "hair transplant" that he was sporting and of course the Dyke was lovely in her flowing red dress and boa. Even her ankle brace looked wonderful. Mind you, Rabies and BB did get many funny stares but Hulk was actually stopped by two young Italian(?) tourists who demanded to have their picture taken with him wearing his "elegant" frock.

The Hash Gods did smile on us as it was a bit cold but was a beautiful dry day. The trail did keep us warm though running/walking up and down through the Castle district and later through the Gellert hill area. (That part did have this "runner" having to put forth some extra effort.)

We had much humor on the trail mainly trying to find it. Our Hares in their infinite wisdom decided to use corn flour instead of white flour and most of it either blew away or was eaten by the pigeaons. It must have been comical to watch us looking for a few grains of yellow trail marks.

It was a good trail though and was suitably enjoyed by all attendees. The beer stop was a good one and at the "On After", Mrs. Rabies provided some excellent food for the troops. This was much appreciated as it was getting a bit chilly outside in
the circle.

All in all it was an event that the Budapest Hash can be proud of. Mes compliments aux hares.

ON! ON!

BC

Hi Hashers

I agree, it was a really fun day and all the red ladies were gorgeous. Many thanks Ildikó for inviting us in from the cold and serving up that delicious warming soup and toasted bread.
On, on
Nicola

Nicola's pictures from the hash

Happy Valentine's Day