Dec. 30th - Hash #880

Scribe: Bangcock

Here’s to Fair weather Hashers
Fair weather Hashers
Fair weather Hashers
Here’s to the Fair weather Hashers
Who weren’t with us today!

They’re happy, they’re jolly
But absent by golly.
Here’s to the Fair weather Hashers
Who weren’t with us today!

What more can I say……. This was the last hash of 2007 and most of you remaining in Budapest and could have joined us, chose to stay in. As the French would say, Tant pis, tant pis!

If you weren’t there you missed an absolutely beautiful romp through the woodlands of Huvosvolgy. (Sorry but I don’t have the accent marks on my laptop.) There were only five, count ‘em 5, stalwart hashers who braved the -5C temperature to head out (HEAD, who said head?) along the tree lined paths. There was Rabies sporting his normal wall-to-wall grin, the Absolutely Incredible Hulk wearing his usual tank top and speedo’s, Tiny Balls who while only here for a brief visit from the USA chose to leave his loverly Hungarian bride on the eve of their first wedding anniversary to join the hash, our shivering Frustrated Frog complete with knocking knees and chattering teeth and the superb HARE du jour, myself, Bang Cock.

We waited and waited at Battyhany for hours but we remained the few and the proud and so set off for the wilds of Huvosvolgy. On parking at the start on the other side of the road from the end of the 56 tram line we found that there was a large group of hikers already there preparing to start out on the trails through the woods. Look ashamed you who weren’t there because most of these folk were blind and they were out for the day in the woods.

After an illuminating and instructive talk by the superb HARE du jour, myself, Bang Cock, (Look….I’m writing this and I can write it the way I want!!!!) the runners, Rabies, Hulkster and Tiny Balls set out along the excellently marked trail followed by the walking pack, French Frog and the superb HARE du jour, myself, Bang Cock. The superb HARE du jour, myself, Bang Cock, had been out the day before until dark extensively marking the trail with copious amounts of flour and reams of TP (That’s toilet paper for those of you not as knowledgeable as you should be.) The marks remained in almost pristine condition and the TP was still in place where attached to branches. It was a veritable Hash highway.

The walking pack, Frustrated Frog and the superb HARE du jour, myself, Bang Cock, bypassed the first check to allow the runners to do the dogleg with another check and several false trails while we followed the lower path to its end and another check. On arrival at this check we found that it wasn’t marked and concluded that we must somehow have beaten the runners to it and hustled up the gut wrenching hill climb of Condor utca trying to stay ahead of the runners.

We made it (perhaps) ahead of the runners and back into the woods we went. We continued on for another thirty-seven kilometers along a hiking trail and around the back of the mountainous Nyeki-hegy passing another check and two which-ways with still no sign of the runners. At this time concern arose that the runners “could” have gotten ahead of us and were already back at the start quaffing down the Hash beer but we “soldiered” on. At long last we arrived at the point where a small path cut off from the trail to head back to the start still following an excellently marked trail. (Listen, I said it before, I’m writing this and I can say what I want!!!!)

After another twenty-two kilometers along this path we came down out of the woods and crossed the small bridge arriving at the start. No runners were there nor were they in sight. Being wise and wiley hashers we immediately adjourned to the beautiful little bar across the street by the side of the tram line and had beverages. Three quarters of a beer later we saw the runners arriving into the parking lot and joined them there for the circle.

On meeting up with the runners we learned that the cunningly laid trail, with several looooong first legs on true trails after checks had bewildered the runners. They had had to go back and recheck several trails that they had thought were false. (This despite the fact that the superb HARE du jour, myself, Bang Cock, had clearly told them before the start that he had marked every false trail with the three bars sign.) However, all made it in none the worse for wear, although the Hulkster was showing clear signs of frozen drool on his beard. It was definitely coooooold.

A few sins were recognized in the circle and Tiny Balls was duly welcomed back albeit for a brief visit. As most attendees had things to do, the circle was fairly brief and the runners departed for their respective residences to get re “plugged in” with their “squeezes”. Being a “good” hasher, Hulk dropped off the now frozen Frenchman and your superb HARE du jour, myself, Bang Cock, at Moskova ter to enjoy a belly filling après hash repast.

NOTE: It was resolved that from this hash on, HARES do NOT have to pay for their hash. It was agreed that since the HARES normally purchase flour and trail marking supplies and invest their time in reccing out and laying the trails, HARES now run for free at their hash. So let’s get out and volunteer to hare trails. Let’s develop a full hare line with all coming weeks filled in. ON! ON!

Dec. 23th - Hash #879

Scribe : Bangcock

Despite not really being the last to arrive, yours truly was tagged again to writ up this weeks Hash. It was a fun day and those who missed it missed a good gathering.

Last week Cedrick had volunteered to hare this trail in Szentendre. Rabies was the first at Battyhany with Cedrick. Then Zuza and our “token” Frenchman, Thomas were there and bringing up the rear were Ericka, Paresh and myself. Rabies took Cedrick off to start the trail while the rest of us took the Hev to meet him at the Szentendre station.

My God! But it was icy on the roads and paths when we arrived. It was almost like ice-skating at Varosligit Park on Monday evening. (Yes! There was ice-skating last Monday but attended only by Rabies, Myself, Sanya and Mona but we did have a good time.) Fortunately the weather did dry up through the afternoon and the slickness disappeared. (It did stay pretty cold though.) Cedrick the rabbit had started off and the pack followed the trail he had laid. It took us through many neighborhoods of Szentendre, up hills and down via wide streets, narrow streets, walkways and stairways. In truth it was an interesting route even going through an old cemetery where the pack discussed the burial customs here. We passed beside a small stream that was crusted with ice and up and down many of the cobblestone streets of Szentendre. We also skirted the Café Rodin with its grounds filled with sculptures. By this time (having unknowingly covered both the walkers and runners trail) the pack was a bit chilled and was sorely tempted to stop and get something to drink to warm up. However, in thinking of the hares and runners, the pack decided to press on to the finis so as not to make them wait too long. The trail ended and the hash coalesced in the central square of Szentendre.

There we congregated around the stand manned by the Rotary Club for some “free” Glewewine that we quickly learned was 900 Forints but the bread and snacks were free. This was definitely not enough so we adjourned to a nearby restaurant for an excellent meal where we were “ogled at” through the window by various passers by. A short while later when crowds gathered in the square we found that really free Glewewine was available at a table outside the Corona restaurant.

Then the fun began. There were Hungarian Christmas sung and a Christmas quartet playing other songs and music. One interesting aspect was that many ladies were circulating through the crowd passing out home made cookies to everyone. It was a lovely gesture and contributed to the seasonal good feelings. Following this we went up the road a bit and down into an interesting old bar cut into a wine cellar. Here we imbibed some of the least expensive wine we have ever had. While the others lingered over the cheap wine, I went further up the hill in the cold with Zuza and her sister to another small square where some of the townspeople were putting on a Nativity Christmas play on an open air stage. Here there was also a free Glewewine table that was getting a great deal of attention. Many families were there mit Kin und Kinder and there was definitely a lot of Christmas atmosphere about.

When the play was over we meandered back to the wine cellar to join the other hashers only to find that they had cleaned out the bar of its hot wine. As it was getting a bit late we decided to return to the train station where Zuza introduced us to her “favorite” bar in Szentendre. There were definitely some “strange” people in there and their taste in music was loud and strident. Also to visit the bathroom one had to get the barman to come over and unlock the door to the cage around the stairs leading up to the bathrooms. And that wasn’t all when you were finished you had to get him to come over again to unlock it and let you out. Having said that, the beer was cold and it was a warm place in which we waited for the train to return to Budapest.

ON! ON! To next week and the last Budapest Hash for 2007. I will hare that one BUT Hares ARE needed for the following weeks. Step up to the plate and Hare a trail!

Dec. 16th - Hash #878

Scribe - Bangcock

As normal the pack gathered at Battyhany Ter for the start. Noone had volunteered to hare this week so Rabies (Actually my name is St. Anus or Liam, Rabies is the old guy) “lept” into the breech and led us up to the Castle area for a romp around in the cold and snow laying all over.


Actually there was quite a nice sized pack and forgive me for not remembering all Hash names so I will use “Nerd” names. Attending were our returnee from Qatar, Sue, Juliette and Melissa our favorite Munchkin hasher were with us as well as Liam (St Anus), Cedrick (Baldric), Zuza (Giving Head), Paresh (Jaws), Ericka (Oral Orgasm), Nata (Run By Battery), Mona returned from Sweden to rejoin us, “French” Thomas (CANT FUCKING SCRIBE) was there smiling, of course Rabies as Hare and yours truly having been dubbed scribe for arriving last.

After huffing and puffing up the stairs leading to near the top we slogged off through the snow behind the Hilton where some stalwarts set about with a snowball battle from the top of the pedestrian bridge crossing the road. The snowballs continued along the ramparts with Zuza proving to be a hard core snowball battler even ambushing some “innocents” and letting them enjoy the feeling of snow down their necks. Our little “munchkin” (Eagle Eye'd) also is no slouch in slinging the wet and icy balls of snow.

We took off then along the Museum walk and back down the hill to the streets below to return to Battyhany for an abbreviated circle. Following the circle the hash proved itself to be of one mind when we agreed to go to three or four different restaurants for post hash lunch. Somehow a consensus was reached (probably because it was coooold) and we marched around the corner and up the block to a German restaurant that had been thoroughly slagged by many. I think it is called “Adolph’s Revenge”.

At any rate we were greeted by a very well constructed waitress who never cracked a smile until she was assured that we were not homeless people just getting out of the cold but were in truth paying customers willing to part with Forints for food and drink. The only comment on the food is to pass on Rabies high recommendation for the Vegetarian sausage. ON! ON! To next week and Szentendre.

Nov. 18th - Hash #876???

Hare: SexTax
Scribe: Cant Say No

The Mob: Can´t Say No, Bangkok, Donkey, Rabies, plus a NFG runner ( think that was it) +1 (which we lost before the run began).

Usual meeting point and a slim crowd. We already lost one person as we started up the hill, so it was a small pack with 2 runners as part of the gang.

Up and down then down and up we went.
Stop and start and stop and start went the drizzling rain.
In and out and out and in of the castle districts alleys, lane ways and secret passages.

Hoot Toot Hoot Toot went Rabies hash whistle.

Blah blah blah blah went the walkers.

All these activities thankfully culminating in a beer stop which doubled as our circle.

Until next time.
Can´t Say No

Nov. 4th - Hash #87? II District

Hares: Austro-Australian Empire
Scribe: NFG Ernst-Jan



The sun was shining when the Hashers arrived at the usual meeting point near the Batthyány tér Metro. While enjoying the view of the Hungarian parliament all the hashers left by car. After 20 minutes we arrived and already get lost.

After finding the way back the hashers meet each other for a Hash flash, a warming up and of course an introduction for the visitors, virgins and returnees. Especially the virgins received a very good treatment during the trail: no penalties were given for doing business with the virgins.

However, the warming up is also a very important point of interest for this very overwhelming article. Most of the people were really good dancers, except the French. They cannot sing, dance and buy warm jackets. The people who danced looked like dancers in a MTV clip of Madonna (like a virgin). I can’t dance, so I was not a part of the dancers. However, my muscles in my belly warmed up thanks to the laughing!

After the Hash flash the trail started. Socializing, running and stuff from trees made it happen that a few of us missed some Hash spots. Moreover, did we miss the ‘Hash - before - circle - beer - spot’? I did!

Back at the starting point the Dutch people were just like all the Americans surprised by the fact that we could drink HEINEKEN…. In the circle several penalties were given to people who peed during the trail, for new joiners, for returnees, for wearing sunglasses, for wearing caps. But no penalty was given for calling during the trail?? Did we miss someone?

After the circle OnOn. The most went for a lunch to the Austrian and the Austria! While I went home with one of the virgins…..

NFG EJ

Video guide to understanding all those funny buggers

For anyone who has been a little confused by many of our hash members this video should help...but probably not.

Oct. 28th - Hash #871(?) Bangcocks Back

Hare: Bangcock
Scribe: Cuz he could tell a time change we he saw one....Bangcock!

Here goes:

The start of Sunday's Hash was mad. The Hash weather Gods cooperated with a decent day but the Gods of Chronological Accuracy threw a "hissy fit" and thoroughly confused the hare (moi), Paresh and Svetlana. We managed to get to Battyhany an hour early thinking we were on time. We waited a half an hour and decided that, since no one else had shown up, we would save this trail for another week and we departed.

I was changing back at my flat when I got a call from Jaws advising me of the fact that the clocks were set back last night and the time we should have been at the start was NOW. Scheisse!!!!!

Dashing back to Battyhany I found a pack of, I believe, eleven hashers champing at the bit. Not in any particular order they were: Sex Tax, Rabies, Mamma San, Hulk, Cheesey Balls, St. Anus, French Tom,Randall, Sheila, Ronald and Juliette. I apologize if I left anyone out and for not remembering all Hash Names. Unfortunately my two companions from the "early" start had departed on other missions and couldn't return.

At any rate we soon jumped into the available vehicles and-or took the 11 bus to the start at the same venue as last weeks romp and off we went into the woods but on the other side of the road this time. The runners were baying as they charged down the trail with someone, whose name I won't mention, taking a header on the slippery path.

After a few checks which the runners very thoroughly investigated, we came to the first of the two scenic view sites and the walkers were right behind. We clambered out on the rocky promentory to admire the view of the leaves that have changed colors on the trees down in the valley then it was off once more.

Sliding down the red mud slope to the hiking path below the runners took off up the trail and around the bend to the second scenic view site, again with the walking group closely behind. Once there we got to clamber out onto a rocky knoll where the valley really opened out below us. It was good that we were able to get out to see the trees this week as the leaves may well be gone shortly.

From this point the hare (moi) led out to check the trail, lay new marks and mark the runner-walker trail split. The pack following had to climb through the rocks up to the top of the rocky hill, go through an old concrete "pill box" (smelly) and along a fenceline behind some very nice residences. Then it was back down the hill while scrambling across the slope till we were back on the hiking trail again.

From this point the trail followed arrows to the runner-walker split where the runners went down the hill to do their extended run-in through a couple of checks on the paved roads and then did a beat back up the "main" road to the On-In. The walkers went further along the path before climbing the hill once more on another trail and following part of the original trail in reverse to the On-In.

The beer arrived in good order and the hare was only slightly chastized for the trail being too short. However, since the hare (moi) is a card carrying member of HALT (Hashers Against Long Trails) he did not feel badly about the trail length.

We welcomed back our hashers returning from abroad, Sex Tax and Rabies, and our returnees, Randall and Sheila, and even had a birthday down-down but for the life of me I can't remember whose it was. After the down-downs, Rabies conducted an auction for the lovely T-shirts he brought back from the Dubai Hash and we closed the circle.

ON! ON!
BC

Oct 7th - Hash #868 - Normafa

Hare: Hairless...so Baldric
Scribe: Not so-NFG Juidth


Judith has let down the HASH

Sept 30th - Hash #867

Hareless
Scribe: Wet Blanket

Sickness has laid me low so here's my vague memories of Sunday's attempt at a run/walk. Can't recall half the hash names or ordinary names so a pathetic attempt.

After the usual, no unusually long delays trying to decide where to go and what to do, with no official hares forthcoming, the smallish group with a virgin and two returnees (Dutch and Hungarian) from the wilds of Switzerland (Thun area) formerly Budapest and Lake Balaton (hashers may recall their splendid meals and hospitality on previous momentous occasions, pity I can only remember Andrea's name, its the sickness upon me), ended up at Normafa.

Minus flour and suitable tracks, the handful of runners amazingly returned at the allotted time but walkers meandered aimlessly about and several lost souls turned up late, complaining bitterly. One was apparently told off or accosted he said by an old lady but no valid explanation was given, unless I missed it completely. I (Wet blanket, the only hash name I can remember) was one of the lost ones, and had to desperately ask a native at one point where the bloody bus was or at least the road. Not the most prestigious hash. Forgive my ramblings.

WB

Know Your Asshole Footprint

Regrettably, some people are simply not aware of how large an asshole footprint they leave on the planet. Here, Vanity Fair offers aquestionnaire that will help such individuals determine the size and breadth of their footprint. If you answer "yes" to four or more of the questions for your age group, it is incumbent upon you to take urgent measures to reduce your asshole footprint.

illustrations by Ross MacDonald October 2007

For ages 14–25

1. Do you refer to attractive members of the opposite sex as "smokin' hot"?
2. Do you leave vitriolic comments in the "Comments" sections of blogs and Web sites, even if you're commenting on something innocuous, such as an old Linkin Park video?
2a. When leaving such comments, do you use such rote Internet pejoratives as "asshat," "douchebag," and "'tard"?
3. Are you convinced that it's only a matter of time before the world recognizes you as the next Andy Samberg?
4. Do you write a dating column for your school paper or local weekly?
5. When you are being photographed, do you flash gang signs?
6. Are your birthday parties televised?
7. Is your name Skylar, Tyler, Taylor, Cat, Bryce, Morgan, Brandon, Braden, Hayden, Jaden, Brianna, or Keegan?

For ages 26–39

1. Do you work in an office with a Foosball or Ping-Pong table?
2. Do you run a T-shirt company that specializes in flimsy apparel that runs small and whose designs are essentially appropriations of old advertising and TV logos from the 1960s and 70s?
3. Does it take more than two words to describe what you do for a living?
4. Have you or has anyone in your close circle of friends written a roman à clef about being a rich socialite, working in publishing, working in film, bonking the help, or any combination of the aforementioned circumstances?
5. Do you refer to ordinary male pastimes and accessories with such terms as "man-cation," "man-date," "man-purse," "man-orexic," and "man-olos"?
6. Before you go out bicycling, do you first change into iridescent spandex shorts and a skintight spandex shirt with a gaudy pattern recalling a 1990s screen saver?
7. Do you refer to having young children as "doing the parent thing"?
7a. If you do indeed have young children, have you launched a blog, or, worse, a video blog, about raising them?

For ages 40–55

1. Do you have money in a hedge fund?
2. Is your car worth more than $100,000?
3. Did you join a church or temple in order to get your children into its affiliated school?
4. Does your wife run a "therapeutic" gift shop/yoga studio/juice bar in the little town where you summer?
4a. If so, did you drive out a longtime mom-and-pop general store beloved by locals in order to obtain the lease or building for your wife's store?
5. Do you send off your kids to summer camp by helicopter?
6. Have you ever shelled out in the five figures to attend a rock 'n' roll "fantasy camp"?
6a. If so, do you keep a framed photo on your desk of you with your arm draped around a sweaty Roger Daltrey?
7. When your companion gets up to use the facilities at a restaurant, are you incapable of passing even the smallest blip of solitary time without theatrically scrolling or tapping on your BlackBerry, Trēo, or iPhone?

How to Reduce Your Asshole Footprint: Some Tips

1. Read a book to a small child, and not in a "Cool! I read this when I was a kid!" way.
2. Stop gelling, mussing, and spiking your hair. You should part it, and that's that.
3. Refrain from ever using the construction "Mmm, I want me some.…"
4. Do not ever order a Cosmopolitan again.
5. Do not leave any comments in any "Comments" section, on any occasion, ever.
6. Give in to the aging process, through every step of it.
7. Eat leftovers.
8. Go two entire, consecutive days without using a wireless electronic communication device.
9. Do not ever again refer to an elderly person, to his or her face, as "so cute."
10. All those things prescribed by Robert Greene in The 48 Laws of Power? Do the precise opposite.

Sept 23rd - Hash #866

Scribe: Incredible Hulk

Hashers met in the usual spot opposite the parliament building in brilliant sunshine under a blue sky. A fantastic day for being out in the Budapest countryside !

So where was everyone??? No Hare for the day, no GM (at home looking after his worn out pussy …… willow), no Baldrick, no Rabies, we didn't even have an Anus (Saint or otherwise). But we did have Run By Battery, Giving Head, French Maid, Haggis, Wet Blanket, a recovering Cheesy Balls (unable to do what his right hand is for) and Incredible Hulk, plus a good bevy of No-Names and Virgins.

We were too many for the 2 cars, so all headed for the end of the bus 11 route. Incredible, Cheesy Balls and his young virgin (he claims to be his Niece) were the only runners, so the 3 set off into the forest and set a flour train for the Walkers. The walkers got an easy trail to follow, along small paths, down the hill between some lovely old trees, eventually arriving at a view stop with a good vista over the valley. Then down into the valley on a suburban route, but at the bottom, back into the forest, along some small paths to avoid doubling back onto the track down, but the path got smaller and smaller, ending in the middle of a large area of stinging nettles.

After hunting around a bit, an exit was eventually found over some decorative piles of rubbish and through a wire fence, out onto a road. Flour blobs were set and the walkers complained it was too easy! (Wait for the next time then!). So onwards along the road, slowly uphill and eventually going right and up into the forest again, soon arriving back at the start. A nice stroll or jog on a wonderful day !

So back to the circle, with only one or 2 knowing the words of the songs, made it a tame affair. Virgins were christened, returners rewarded and the usual drinks spread around. Then most headed down the hill to a very nice resto, "Lugas" where the food was much enjoyed while sitting in the sunshine, especially the desserts which were good enough to give Erica several oral orgasms.

So – next week we hope for a good turn out, and hopefully a hare will be produced from the hat.

OnOn!!!

From the "Big Book of British Smiles"

Earmuffs have come early this year!

Sept. 16th - Hash #865

Sunday 16 September 2007
Hare & Scribe - Sexytax

Hares and scribes being reluctant to volunteer, these tasks were therefore combined on this occasion. The main attraction this week for our less active friends was that this hash was completely flat, no mountains, hills, cliffs or precipices laid in wait, just lots of Flatness. Hajogyari (Obudai) Sziget was the destination, previously only known to most as the location for thousands of spaced-out music fans enjoying the annual Sziget Festival, however for fifty-one weeks of the year it is a delightful and quiet island, ideal for a pleasant Sunday day out.

Eighteen hashers gathered in the sun waiting for the day’s events to unfold. Long queues in the supermarket whilst buying the beer and water delayed the start, but by 12:15 three cars and a small group travelling by HEV were on their way to the sziget. Only four runners went on ahead leaving the walkers to enjoy a pleasant stroll around the island, the main distractions were a hot-dog stall, which attracted our more hungry hashers and the children’s playground, the delights of which included slides. The sight of one, shall we say “well fed” hasher, scaling the ladders and squeezing into a stainless steel tube will stay with me for a long time and the fact that he emerged at the other end without getting stuck is a miracle – luckily we left before the police arrived!

The circle was again ably supervised by Incredible and as is usual, hash virgins who have previously promised they will have lunch and return next week, after the circle, mysteriously disappear and are never seen again – was it something we said?

Lunch was eventually taken at Rozmaring Kertvendeglo on the river near Arpad hid, much rearranging of furniture eventually saw us settled and a tasty meal with liquid accompaniments brought the day to a successful conclusion.

OnOn

Blue Danube H3 Cruise 2007 - Esztergom

The Esztergom run went very well, the Danube level was just low enough to dock, although part of the planned trail was under water, we found a revised route OK through a rugby pitch (only to find they were playing when the run started!. They loved the run around the town, the outskirts with traditional wine cellars and up the hills (although some complained about the 'up'). Many said it was the best hash of the trip, so we think Budapest has done a good job.

The FRB trail took them up pretty high up for good views, only one got lost at the top (after stopping to leak, only to find everyone gone and the sneaky trail difficult to find . Best was the wine stop with a wooden barrel with 50L wine for the ~125 hashers. It all went (some as down-downs later in the circle). Sandor, the old guy who grew the grapes and made the wine seemed very proud with all the complements, and the little road which was totally blocked with the sweaty bodies had never been so busy. Most walkers and runners got to the wine stop in about 45 min as expected, but Haggis was 'sweeping' the slow walkers, including Bill who is 85, so they were somewhat late. But all eventually got their wine.

The beer not drunk Tuesday all went on Thursday, so almost everything we bought for the runners was consumed. Another 25 T-shirts went OK - I was hoping for more sales, but most hashers seemed to have so many T-shirts that they could not manage another one.

Sadly the Wolf became ill in Bp and needed a doctor - so rest and no alcohol for a while. Lisbet took him by car to the wine stop where he enjoyed the ambiance if not the wine. Wash & Blow lost something on the boat Tuesday, nobody admitted to anything so nothing was recovered for her. The circle was well run by Kingfisher, with a lot of good Hash amusement and plenty of beer. It was a sad moment when Haggis and Incredible were chucked off the boat before it left for Bratislava - but a very good day all round !

OnOn!!!

Incredible Hulk

Sept 9th - Hash #864 BBQ Time in II district

Hares: Can't Say No, Come and Go, Eagle Eye
Scribe: 10 Minutes Late

There was a record number of people sept.9 - about 25 including a friendly dog, which looked more like a sheep. We started at the last stop of the 56 tram and didn't even have enough cars, so some unlucky transport pass owners had to get a public. The weather finally got better after few miserable rainy days and we had no problems finding the way thanks to plenty of marks for both runners and walkers. Due to a big number of people everyone could find lots of partners for communicating of the hot topics was the discussion of possibilities for the Danube Cruise to make it inspite of high level of the river. Some suggestions were made to supply them with bathing suits to make their floating more enjoyable.

When everyone got hungry the highlight of the day was a barbecue hosted by hares CSN and C\G (Juliette and Ronald). We couldn't have wished more: a house with a breathtaking view, chicken and meat barbecue and even home made chocolate cake for dessert. Plenty of beer, as usual and when some still thirsty hashers mentioned "shots" it appeared immediately on the table with a magic wand of the hosts. When it got cooler outside people moved inside, I don't know how long they stayed, I had to leave earlier, hopefully nobody slept in the bushes... Thanks again to our hospitable hosts!!!

Sept 2nd - Hash #863 HHH

Hare-Jaws

The Outsourcing Run

We were the last to arrive as I had mucked around the house debating about whether to attend due to my child carrier (aka my other half “Come and Go” – aptly named you will notice) being out of the country. Fortunately the Budapest Pack has an intellectual IQ that appeals to 3.5 year old “Eagle Eye” and I was able to outsource child entertainment for a substantial part of the afternoon.

We moved by car convey (the hare squashed into the boot of my car) to the start of the run which I understand to be the end of the 56 or 65 bus. Anyway, we were headed for the highest point in Budapest - a thought I relished with a 15.5kg handicap.

Eagle Eye and myself started somewhat slowly as we collected several rocks, sticks and examined carefully the blobs (few and far between). Pussy Willow and Sheila doubled back to make sure we were still en-route. Pussy Willow accepted a huge stick as a gift from Eagle Eye which she managed to carry around for the entire run including the bus and tram trip back to the circle.

Up and up we went following a blob approx. each kilometre. At last we arrived at the beer stop and we were glad to be ahead of the main group of walkers. Drinks were ordered and I made the fatal mistake to order a shandy. This was mainly because I wanted to seem a responsible parent on the descent, which would most likey involve carrying Eagle Eye. Some locals helped with translation and I ended up with a small beer and juice – bloody useless translators! Then about 5mins later some bread and dripping arrived as the Shandy! It was so warmly received by the pack that a plate of it was ordered and quickly eaten up over another round.

The sky looked ominous, so we started to make our way back. The runners speed off and the walkers talked and talked and walked straight past a false trail mark….thinking we were being super clever and that all roads lead to beer. Not so! As we descended we started to realise that we were actually no where close to where we were meant to be. Cross examining several locals and a bus driver saw us get on a bus then a tram to meet with the rest of the pack.

The circle was behind a local church with many crimes being punished and a general whip around for money for Jaws to buy more flour next time.

The evening commenced with a trip to a local pizza joint and another Sunday bloody Sunday used up on a load of good for nothings…well at least they are good entertainment for a child!

Till next week when Eagle Eye and parents set our first Budapest trail.

On On
Can´t Say No

Blue Danube H3 Cruise 2007 - Budapest

Welcome Blue Danube H3 2007 Cruise

Budapest is the first stop of your journey Tuesday September 11th.

Your Hares will be Cheesy Balls and Baldric, more info come in a bit....

Michael Jackson dies

Beer authority Michael Jackson dies
By DON RUSSELL For the Daily News

Michael Jackson's writing and his classification of beers energized the microbrewery business, where he was a cult figure. Here, his Book and the Cook tutored tastings were very popular. Beer drinkers around the world are mourning the man who filled their glasses with the finest ales and lagers.

Michael Jackson the Beer Hunter died yesterday morning at his home in London. The cause of death has not been determined. Jackson, 65, had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.

Though he was not a brewer, Jackson was responsible for more good beer than anyone. His tools were not the malt shovel and mash tun but a ballpoint pen and small notebook in which he scribbled tasting notes and interviews during four decades as a newspaperman.

Jackson's books and countless newspaper and magazine articles explored the far-reaching world of beer, from classic styles to obscure recipes.

He is primarily credited with establishing the language and identification of beer styles. Before Jackson, all beer was essentially the same; today, beer authorities recognize more than 100 major styles, defined by their cultural and technical characteristics.

Many of those styles – especially obscure varieties from Belgium – would be extinct today if not for Jackson's writing. In 1994, as thanks for almost single-handedly reviving that nation's brewing tradition, Crown Prince Philippe of Belgium gave Jackson its Mercurius Award.

For thousands of self-professed beer geeks, Jackson was a cult figure who inspired the U.S. microbrewery renaissance. They packed his lectures and surrounded him for autographs. His annual tutored tasting at the University of Pennsylvania Museum drew standing-room-only crowds and was the single most popular event for 17 consecutive years in the city's the Book and the Cook festival.

A self-educated writer from a poor family, Jackson began his career as a newspaperman in Yorkshire, then in London at the Independent and the Observer. He began writing on beer as a sideline, publishing his first beer book in 1976.

Since then, he had written a dozen books on beer and whiskey that have been translated into 20 languages, including The Pocket Guide to Beer, published in nine editions. In 2006, his book "Whisky" won a James Beard award for journalism. His Web site, www.beerhunter.com, has been a huge resource on beer, travel and breweries.

August 19th - Hash #861 Gellert to Budavar

Scribe: Jaws taking the bullet for NFG Lidia (sic?)
Hash #861

Hares: Baldric

Hashers: Jaws, St Anus, Smokey Donkey, Beatrice, Sex Tax, Pussy
Willow, NFG Lydia, Eagle Eye, Mama Eagle Eye, Papa Eagle Eye, Giving
Head


The Orange Man, as he was appropriately renamed for the day, had found his playmate for the day and so he was happy although she was mentally more advanced than him as she was only aged 3.5. But she was happy to humour the Orange Man, alias St Anus, throughout the hash with her shouts of 'On On', often echoed by the Orange Man. It was suggested she called him that because of the colour of his shirt, but I think it was more to do with his complexion....

We had tried to gather at the regular meeting point in Batthyany ter, but were displaced a hundred meters or thereabouts because our territory had been reclaimed by the 'Red Bull Air Race' tents, set up so a few people could feel important and privileged to watch the race from the comforts of the hospitality tents, and others could be succoured into buying tickets to enter the cordoned off zone by the Danube, so they too could feel privileged. Apologies for anyone who came and did not find the hash group, but rather predictably the mismanagement failed to anticipate this problem. Nevertheless, a couple of hares did make the effort to go around looking for any prospective lost souls, but came back empty handed. The last to arrive was NFG Lydia, but for some unknown reason St Anus actively talked her out of being the scribe...go figure. And as I was last before her, it somehow fell upon me to scribble this trash, without being advised of
it!!

So the plan was to take a replacement bus up to Gellert (as the tram was obviously not working due to the air race) which departed from Batthyany ter. We waited for about 20 minutes when a bus appeared. And alas it seems just at that time NFG Lydia had decided to go looking for some water, so off went all of us on the bus whilst Baldric stayed behind and went looking for her, hoping to catch the next bus. This meant, you guessed it, the rest of us ended up waiting for the Hare at the Gellert.


Finally the trail began. Up from the Gellert Hotel and up and up and up and on and on and on, winding all the way to the Citadel, which as it turns out was only for the benefit of the runners. Whilst the runners waited at the top for the walkers to catch up, Baldric appeared and informed us we had to retrace the route back down again to catch up with the walkers. Then he recognised a celebrity Brit who we were watching being filmed at the Citadel making a TV programme, or covering the race for the UK TV. Baldric was convinced it was 'the famous British Olympic rower'.

Excitement over, we continued the trail on to the castle where the freshly uncovered ruins were now openly displayed for all to see. It was certainly busy and all the more so as there were some 'exhibitions' around the place. I suspect a lot of people were laughing at us or perhaps were confusing us with the 'exhibits' or 'processions' as we shouted out 'on on!'. Or perhaps they though we were just a plain stupid rabble. Nevertheless, we wound our way through the crowds and had a brief stop for refreshments at one of the outside stalls. Finally, zig zagging past the Fishermans Bastion and through the main street on down in the general direction of Batthyany ter. The runners then decided to have a beer stop at a local café, perhaps because I had remarked earlier how we had run past so many cafes / bars already without a beer stop. Alas, Baldric shouted out to NFG Lydia and me, who were leading the pack by now, to turn back to join them. He then called the walkers to advise them of his new scheme, but only to be told that the walkers were already at the end point; they had decide to take a short cut.


So another proper beer stop missed and off we went back to Batthyany ter. At the starting point. But of course logically one would have expected the walkers to be waiting there, but no. They had decided to wait at a different location along with a load of other common drunks by the toilets, and just waited for the runners to find them!

The down-down was held just there. The usual trash, and one naming of what must be the youngest Hasher in the world; St Anus's new found friend. She was duly christened 'Eagle Eye'. I then pointed out that as it was St Anus's birthday (which he had kept quiet about), he should be buying everyone a drink. But that came to nothing, and indeed he even failed to announce that all were welcome to his party at the Sark Bar on Margit-sziget that night.


The afternoon was finally concluded by a lunch at a local restaurant in Batthyany ter. Then followed, by now the familiar sight of Baldric tempting other hashers to another drinking session after lunch. He succeeded in persuading Jaws and Giving Head, without much effort, who went on to a rather decent Belgian Bar overlooking the Danube, with a good view of the air race. Front row seats with a good view, no entry tickets and beer of upto 9% proof! Great except for the extremely loud tannoy across the road from the bar, blaring out some incomprehensible commentary of the race, which we felt like shutting up somehow, and which seemed to continue even after the race had ended and the crowds had dispersed! But shut up it eventually did.....


Eventually, Baldric and I headed off to the Sark Bar to St Anus' party, whilst Giving Head went home sulking. The party seemed to be a rather civilized affair of just a few people sitting and drinking, until it started to rain a little. At which point Baldric and I decided to head for the last tram, and just as we left one of the worst thunderstorms hit Budapest, and so we ended up fighting gushing torrents of water, strong wind, and hailstones. Completely soaked to the skin, we succeeded in catching the last tram. And so ended another normal hash. The whole day was up, up, up, up, and up, and on, on, on, and on, and down, down, down, down, down, down, and down, and down.....to the last drop.

August 12th - Hash #860 Normafa

Sunday 12 August

Didn't go to Sziget Festival so was able to make to down to Batthyany Ter on time to meet Rabies and Incredible Hulk. Went to get some food from shop and met Ten minutes late in the queue. Back to not the exact meeting point (someone has put a redbull flying thing in the way) where Run by battery and Trigamist had arrived. The reason for the small turn out was discussed...maybe the Sziget or the insulting scribing of last week.

The 6 of us got into 3 cars (not very carbon friendly) and drove up to Normafa. Trigamist offered to live hare for the 3 runners and Run by battery offered to take Ten minutes late into the woods. The walkers left, the hare left and the runners waited. The route went through the forest with a few wrong turnings, then to an open area where it all went a bit wrong for me. We all went in different directions and I lost the other 2. Couldn't hear any on on's only the birds.

Eventually found the correct route after a few good false trails by the hare, but I was on my own, so took a while. Trail then followed the children's railway but then I lost the trail again and as I knew where I was I decided to take the road back just in case the others were waiting for me in the circle. No one was at the car but spotted Trigamist with a sorry looking Rabies outside the pub having a pint. Turned out that Rabies had got lost as well. Swopped a few wrong trail stories over a drink, then the Hulk arrived the only one to complete the route. He'd done it on his own and even gone back and marked the checks of which there were many, according to his clever contraption completing over 10k.

He was surprised that he'd seen 'the lovers' not far from the finish but they weren't back, so heaven knows what was going on on. They finally arrived and we all relaxed over a beer and the now usual sex stories of Run by battery and Ten minutes late, including one about a wet bottom I've had to censor. Back to the car for the down downs, but with only 3 people drinking the excuses became even more inventive. I was volunteered to hare the following week and to write this...a little unfair.

Retired back to Jokai, and an old house of famous Hungarian writer which is now a restaurant for the best bean soup in town. Some had pancakes and everyone was surprised that we were the only customers as the quality was very good.

10 minutes late dropped me off and then straight off to Sziget festival, where, as a test of who reads this, I did a streak around the main stage the next morning, getting chased by 2 mud men. hash

Can someone please help this "lady"

In my inbox:

GOD BLESS YOU.

I AM MOTHER JANE COLE FROM NETHERLAND ?just one A WIDOW TO LATE PATRICK COLE I AM 61 YEARS OLD, I AM A NEW CHRISTAIN CONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST, ALL INDICATION MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WOUDIN wooden, LIVE MORE THAN THREE MONTHS, ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS,AND IN ALL INDICATION REGARDS TO MEDICAL ANALYSIS huh?, THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANER STAGE isn't this in singapore where they have graffiti shows HAS GOTTEN TO A VERYBAD brother of strongbad STAGE THAT NO HOPE FOR ME TO BE A LIVING PERSON AGAIN, try voodoo and join the undead...brains,

MY LATE HUSBAND KILLED how many did he kill DURING THE HURRICANE DISASTER IN NEW ORLEANS,AND DURING THE PERIOD OF OUR MARRIAGE WE COULD NOT PRODUCEANY CHILD maybe it had to do with all his killing .MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS BUSINESS AND WEALTH.

THE DOCTORS HAS ADVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVE FOR MORE THAN SIX MONTHS upgraded from 3 months, SO I NOW DECIDED TO DIVIDE THE PART OF THIS WEALTH, TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHURCH IN AFRICA, AMERICA ASIA a new region in the world AND EUROPE ESPECAILLY CREATE SOLUTION TO PROBLEM OF LESS PREVILLAGED as opposed to post-villaged ONES AND ALPHANAGE HOMES screw the betas!.

I SELECTED YOU AFTER VISITING THE WEBSITE she likes the hash I PRAYED AND FAST FOR THREE WEEKS OVER IT careful, only 9 weeks left by the first countdown WITH ADVISE OF MY PASTOR,I AM WILLING TO DONATE THE SUM OF $7.5M U.S DOLLARS, TO THE LESS PRIVILEGED our hash.PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT FUND IS LYING IN A SECURITY COMPANY AND UPON MY INSTRUCTION,MY ATTORNEY,WHO PRESENTLY IS IN AFRICA DISTRIBUTING RELIEF MATERIALS TO OF BOMBLAST and the bomb-first? IN SLERRA-LEONE,WILL FILE IN AN APPLICATION FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY IN YOUR NAME.

LASTLY,I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY WHEN TRANSFERRED WILL BE USED FOR THE SAID PURPOSE which is not said but I guess she means BEER!!! EVEN THOUHG IM LATE THEN, BECAUSEI HAVE COME TO FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY AND I MADE THE PROMISE TO GOD THAT THE FUND WILL BE USE TO BUILD HIS TIMPLE, like a pimple but with a cross. Are you kidding, she's a new convert and her ex-husband, a killer by her words, leaves her a pile of money to give to the hash and THIS is vanity?

MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD ANDTHE FELLOWSHIP OF GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY I AWAIT URGENT REPLY TO MY ALTERNATIVE EMAIL ADDRESS: janecole1907@yahoo.com

GOD BLESS YOU.
MOTHER JANE COLE

Feel free to contact Mother but hurry unless she joins the undead she won't be around long. Ok, all this was a stupid lead into a funny video.

August 5th - Hash #859 Kőérberek

Just a note of explanation to avoid any confusion:

This is 10 Minutes Late making his debut on the Hash Trash and not Frustrated Frog Legs for reasons, which will become clear later on.

How did I get the name 10 minutes late you ask yourself? Well, good question. The answer is, I really don’t know, but I suspect that it could be one of the two following options:

1. Some kind of malicious rumor spread by my dear wife, reminiscent of that classic verse Loudon Wainwright III song, ‘Whatever happened to you”, which goes something like this:
   
   Well, we used to be in love,
   But now we are in hate,
   You used to say I came too early,
   But it was you who came too late
   
   
   
2. Alternatively, it could have something to do with my habit of procrastinating every Sunday morning before I rise, which has in the past, caused me to arrive about 10 minutes late for the Hash. In this regard I am the living proof that there’s absolutely no truth in the rumor that procrastination makes you go blond blund erm, blind (sorry about that, recently been having a little trouble seeing the letters on the keyboard clearly, and sometimes I can’t see the keyboard at all.)

Now, I’m sure you’re curious about how I managed to get myself into the unenviable task of writing the Hash Trash? Well that makes 2 of us.

The answer is really quite simple.

As has become customary in recent months, Frustrated Frog Legs (aka Tommy the Frog) volunteered to write the Hash Trash. As is well-documented, all the requests to get him finally to put pen to paper were answered with a resounding “OUI”, however turned out be a big limp ‘NON’. (For those of you with limited language skills, or have no experience with Frenchies, Oui is French for No and Non is also French for No.)

It became apparent by the end of last Sunday’s run that Tommy the Frog had become seriously traumatized by some of the sights he had witnessed, both during the run itself and in the circle – more about that later - and being the kind, caring and public-spirited person that I am, I thought to myself, Sacrebleu! Petit Pois! Ménage à Trios! I just can’t let him suffer any more today than he already has. The least I can do is to relieve him of this additional burden - while at the same time, doing my bit for peace in Europe by ending years of hatred, bitterness and hostility between the French and the English nations by a display of true camaraderie.

As everybody knows, the animosity between England and France was started by the French.
This was mainly as a result of their jealousy of our superb English style of cooking and the high quality selection of English wines, not to mention our great British traditions, such as stag parties abroad, binge drinking, and our terribly well disciplined and well-behaved football supporters, the likes of which any nation would be proud to have as ambassadors of their country.

History shows that this hostility reached a peak in 1940 on the beaches of Dunkirk when the entire French army decided to depart tout de suite to the beaches of the Cote d’Azure for a 5 year holiday, without as much as a lousy Au Revoir, leaving the English army behind to clear up the mess that France had got itself into with Germany - for the second time in just over 20 years.

Never again, mon amis.

So, now the important stuff is out of the way, here’s my trashy account of last Sunday’s Hash extravaganza.

August 5th began as beautiful warm and sunny day with a wonderful atmosphere when we met at Battyany ter at 11:30. Present for this momentous occasion were: St. Anus, Cheesy (I couldn’t think of a more fitting name for him) Balls, Smoky Donkey, The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies, Frustrated Frogs Legs, Me (10 Minutes Late), Giving Head, Cunning Linguist, an American NFG returnee person of the female persuasion who’s name has slipped my mind (Carol), a Scot former GM of the BP hash who suprisingly has no hash name, and last but not least, 3x a Weeny.

Of course, we all felt very upset at the absence of our former, sadly missed and never to be forgotten GM, Bursting Bladder and his lovely Dutch wife, The Dyke. For those who have already forgotten them, he’s was the big Norwegian guy with a beard, a vest and a baseball cap who always arrived for the Hash grasping a large horn in his right hand, trying to entice everybody in the vicinity to blow it, while she, on the other hand, did her best to prevent this from happening.

I think she said that it was something to do with germs, or was it Germans?

Probably Germans, because being Dutch means that her grandfather’s bicycle was borrowed by a German soldier in 1945, so that he could cycle back to Germany very quickly and avoid having multiple clogs, worn by multiple Dutch people, (who were very, very angry after 5 years of German occupation,) being aimed at his head, nose, nuts or alternatively being unceremoniously shoved up his ass. Surprisingly, he never returned with this bicycle, nor did the other 150,000 members of Berlin’s finest return the ones they had borrowed. This led to some animosity between the Dutch and Germans.

Until today, this is so ingrained in the Dutch mentality that even people who never owned a bicycle, weren’t even born until after the war ended, never had a grandfather, or if they did, had one who never owned a bicycle in the first place, still complain about the theft of their grandfather’s bicycle.

But I digress…….

Cheesy Balls and 3x a Weeny were the hares of the day and had decided to deposit their blobs in a remote area of Buda, 26 tram stops from Battyany ter, which meant that not only did we have to suffer a slow moving and very uncomfortable tram for about 35 minutes, but St.Anus, for some unknown reason (like fare dodging), became very anxious at each one of the stops, especially whenever a somber looking person carrying a case stepped onto the tram. As we were seated in the centre of the tram, this meant that St.Anus needed to rotate his head 360 degrees at every stop to check all the doors. At one point he was convinced that one of the new arrivals was just about to slide his party armband on and came running across to me in total panic and begging for a ticket. I was just about to calculate the black market price when the “inspector” left the tram and St.Anus returned to his, by now, very wet seat.

So, we eventually arrived at the start of the run. Those who decided to run, ran and those who didn’t, walked. Quite a nice stroll through the forest, lots of empty beer cans, empty plastic bottles, parts of dead animals (possibly chickens), and numerous ripped open packs of Durex!

I just couldn’t help thinking, “what a romantic place to take your girlfriend, your wife, somebody else’s wife. One thing’s for sure, these local guys really know how to treat a lady and knock her off - her feet, that is.”

It was at that point that Frustrated Frog Legs had his first shock of the day. In the middle of the road was a squashed frog. It had obviously been driven over by a steamroller earlier that day and was kind of spread out with arms and legs stretched out to the 4 main points of the compass (that is north, south, east and west for those of you who aren’t sure). I did my very best to shield Tommy the Frog from this abomination, but to no avail.

He saw it, fell silent, wiped a tear from his cheek, pulled his shorts back up and continued further with bowed head and a devastated expression on his face.

I will now report on the all-time low spot of this, and possibly any other Hash that has taken place anywhere in the universe.

Warning: Read the following at your own risk. Any person of a nervous disposition or with psychological problems is advised not to continue reading further.

The Budapest Hash House Harriers does not accept any responsibility whatsoever for any temporary or permanent physical or mental distress caused.

OK, for those of you who are still reading, which means all of you, I’ll get straight to the point!

3 x a Weeny lived up to his name in the most literal sense and did 3 x a Hash Flash.

This was not a pretty sight and caused quite some consternation among those present that witnessed this and it provoked the whole spectrum of reactions from shock, horror, disgust, open-mouthed disbelief to mild amusement and hysterical laughter. There was just one case of severe disappointment; this was from Giving Head, who missed the spectacle and testicles, as she happened to be looking elsewhere each time. Never mind GH, you really didn’t miss all that much.

On the occasion of Weenies second Hash Flash, the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies decided that enough was enough and gave him a severe lecture, intended to humiliate, to which there was absolutely no response from the Weeny.

Later on in the circle, Smoky Donkey, who had just announced his 7 year anniversary of marriage to Fallen Madonna on that very day, decided to show support for his wife and get into her good books, no doubt for later in the evening, and give yet another bollocking to 3 x a Weeny.

Did this further humiliation do the trick? No way, in fact it had the opposite effect as shortly afterwards 3 x a Weeny decided to make yet another Hash Flash – right there, in the circle no less!

Upon seeing this, Frustrated Frog Legs, who was unfortunate enough to be standing next to 3 x a Weeny, turned white and then various shades of green and looked as if he was just about to throw up. This was certainly not one of the Froggies best days and if you’re reading this Froggie, I do hope you’re feeling better now.

So, after a few down downs for who knows what, those whose stomach wasn’t turning and churning decided to go for lunch. Giving Head, who was still complaining that she hadn’t actually seen the flashing incidents decided that we should go to eat in the German restaurant behind the market at Battyany. Was it pure coincidence that this particular restaurant specializes in a wide variety of sausages? Bockwurst, Bratwurst, Weisswurst – you name it, they’ve got it - big ones, small ones, fat ones, thin ones, straight ones, bent ones – the list is endless!


Those present at this feast were: Giving Head, Froggy, Cunning Linguist, 3 x a Weeny and
10 Minutes Late. Can’t imagine why everybody else decided to give it a miss this time.

So, all in all, Hash #858 was just another normal Sunday Hash, with all the benefits of rubbing shoulders, and sometimes a lot more, with the crème de la crème of Budapest high society.

We should all consider it to be an extraordinary privilege to be in the company of such cultured and well-adjusted people.

Finally, I have the sad duty to inform you that 3 x a Weeny is leaving Hungary and accordingly last Sunday was his final Budapest Hash Run.

Weeny, we’re all really going to miss it you and we hope that you have more success in making an impression on the camels in Qatar than you did with the majority of us in Budapest.

Last Sunday, you succeeded in making quite a spectacle of yourself, and I’m certain that it’ll be a point of discussion for long after you’ve left us – but isn’t that what you really wanted?

So Weeny, old cock, it only remains for me to wish you good luck for the future and I’m certain that I speak for the whole of Budapest Hash House Harriers when I say that we hope that you get well soon.

Warmest personal regards,

Martin aka 10 Minutes Late

July 29nd - Hash #858 Rozsa Domb

Hares: GMs SexTax & PussyWillow

The 29th day of July opened with a gleaming sun, radiating from a bright blue sky. To the north a smattering of wispy clouds, to the south a cover of white and grey met the horizon. A moderate balmy breeze blew across the Danube to fan an assembly of 16 Hashers for run number 867, (or somewhere thereabouts), marking the last and final Hash for BB and The Dyke as residents of Budapest. After an exchange of greetings, brief in my case as a result of tardiness, the usually disorganized chaos ensued concerning the groups transit to the starting point for the days run. The Hare pair, Sex Tax and Pussy Willow led the mounted charge, combining bus and car, towards the elevated environs of Budapest’s third district.

Upon arrival, the group not so quickly divided into almost equal numbers of runners and walking and set out upon a wooded trail. With Sex Tax guiding all running and Pussy Willow herding the walkers we soon emerged from a trail to the paved streets of the District. The course laid by the Hares included an interesting combination of alternating challenges. We traversed rolling hills with meadows and forested paths, sloping residential byways, bustling city streets, quiet and sublime city parks and even a sports running track meant to stifle the progress of any pedantic or overly energetic front runners.

The midpoint of the day’s trek included a planned and much appreciated beer stop. A brief disappointment greeted the first arrivals, finding the establishment to be closed on Sundays. Not to worry, our resourceful Hares had a back up plan! We were soon relaxing under a shaded portico enjoying a refreshing libation, although some found the fare for which to be a bit haughty.

A number of noteworthy viewpoints were encountered along the 9+ kilometer route. Panoramic views of Budapest from the northern heights overlooking the Danube’s meandering curve toward the City center. An educational stop at the shrine of Gul Baba, a 16th century benevolent Turk who was into rose gardening and whose very steps we may have been following. Thus when all the geography and history lessons were concluded the Hares led the way on a long hilly homeward stretch, finally arriving at the starting point and another much needed libation.

The circle of Hash 867 (or somewhere thereabout) was marked by the passing of the scepter from outgoing GM, BB to our newly anointed GM Sex Tax (Don't forget PussyWillow). Amidst this noted fanfare were the usually down downs for the usually variety of reasons, none of which merit writing down. The exception being a newcomer named XXXX, whom we hope to see more of! ahh!! and to see on another hash as well.

Yours truly, Andy, (reluctantly) aka: Cheesy (still hinting for a change) Balls

July 28th - Fuckoff Party for BurstingBladder & The Dyke

Well it was time to say "Fuck Off" to our beloved GM and his lovely consort. 20 of us gathered at Trofea Restaurant to enjoy a good meal with them before leaving in 5 days time.

After plumping ourselves with all you can eat meats, sides, and as much beer as we could call for from the somewhat attentive waiters, the hash hushed for some parting words. Then after some hushed conversations, the mantel of GM and Grand Mistress were bestowed on the surprised hashers SexTax and Pussy Willow.

Then, one bye one everyone trickled away

July 22nd - Hash #857 Margit Island

Hares BB and Dyke

The temperatures must have been a wee bit above normal in good ole Buda as the usual meeting point was abandoned in favour of a shadier spot across the road under an obliging tree (species unknown but it did have lots of leaves providing the necessary). This led to initial confusion for at least one member - no names mentioned and I will have to be killed to divulge that information – as on alighting from the tram they could not see anyone and thought they had all ran (doubtful) off.

But to keep with some sort of tradition we all crossed the road for the circle where the plan of the day was divulged by BB. Unfortunately, I missed this bit as had popped over the road for liquid refreshment so I can’t shed any light. On my return asked some individuals what had been said and they couldn’t either. I wonder if they had been listening or if alcohol consumption is slowly affecting their memories as it is mine. Perhaps they didn’t care.

Anyway unusually the trail started with a circle and with 3x aWeenie and Sex Tax (our token runners) and St Anus setting out in opposite directions. As I was at the time busy socializing I missed subsequent hash calls but followed the pack which included the hares assuming they knew where they were going. Not always the best policy but there is sometimes safety in numbers. I was momentarily worried about St Anus and looked around to see if he was following. Someone in a conspicuous red shirt was lurking furtively around a bus door but this is purely circumstantial and one shouldn’t rely on such evidence.

Anyway the pack meandered purposely towards Margit Hid chatting, catching up with news of friends and social events. Before we knew it we were up the steps and dodging death crossing the road. Being at the back of the pack I must admit to not looking for the trail or hearing any onons but I am sure our illustrious leaders were following true hash conventions. So there we were on Margit Island, light of feet heading towards the topless sunbathers at the waters edge. No beer stop here though so we skipped along, a merry band, regaining height and thankfully shade spotting dollops of white powder and too many besci bellies. A brief stop to buy beer from an obliging lady with a fridge on wheels and we were quickly ushered on to a shady glen where a pleasant interlude ensued with BB stopping, dropping his bags and announcing a sports stop. Bats and balls and various other items of torture were the produced and after an initial apathetic bit of tossing and fumbling with balls, Pussy Willow and Honorable visitor NFG Peter organized us into an entertaining game of good old fashioned rounders. Rules were changed as and when required and a jolly time was had by nearly all. The crowd never uttered a cheer from the spectators blanket but who can blame them?

We were all sad when we had to pack away but the thought of what might lay ahead spurred us on. Disappointing to some the planned swimming stop was ditched but St Anus quickly spotted a water hose with which he tried to cool down the pack. The request for a wet tee shirt competition were ignored and the pack plodded on. Our next stop at the ruined Dominican church was educational and we were all told how Bela IV sent his daughter Margit there to be a nun at the age of 9. So what was the island called before then? Answers please on a postcard.

On On as the saying goes so we did.

We lost a few of the pack at a café as another unplanned beer stop was required but as our dental tourists from the Trossachs, Run by Battery and Trigamist had inside knowledge as they all made it back to the circle. The rest of the trail passed in a blur but there was a pond and some terrapins who were moving faster than us and before you could say another “on” there was BBs car with the promise of a cold beer lurking inside it.

The circle slowly assembled and there was much elbowing and naming. Visitors were welcomed, Peter the Lawyer and Mimi and Oink from the Trossachs. Heinous crimes such as Hats in the Circle were admitted to with no shame and the usual culprit, Sex Tax was given a down down for yet again being the only hasher not to have committed a crime. The shame.

Another hash over, we slowly disassembled. Some to lunch at the Water Tower others to watch the Open and others to get to the airport. Thanks to hares BB and Dyke…their last trail for the Budapest Hash. You will be missed.

----

Pack:
Smokey Donkey, Madonna with the big boobies (?), Hot Flush, Sex Tax, Pussy Willow, 10 minutes late, StAnus, CheesyBalls, Runs by Battery, Trigamist, Giving Head, 3 x a Weenie, NFG Peter, wee visitors Mimi and Oink , and a special appearance by Kare-Ozzie


Still waiting on trash from last 3 hashes

Movie Rules

Hi, first FFFL* and now Cheesy Balls & Hot "I won't need my mobile so I'll leave it at the lake" Flush, have left the hash without any trash for the past 18 days, I thought I would share this important bit of movie news.

Too many people do not understand proper Movie Theater etiquette. I the past all theaters had to do was to remind patron to go grab a treat from the lobby




Now a days people in theaters are so rude they need to be told explicitly what that shouldn't do during the film, like lighting up a smoke. Really when was the last time you could smoke during the film? And the god-damned crying babies in an R-rates (18+) film, leave 'em at home. Well Hollywood has finally acted and this promo will be shown before all new movies. Trust me it is really geared towards a newer generation. I am sure you will be humming it on the way home.



Think people will get the message? Sadly, probably not.

*Fucking Frustrated Frog Legs

Social at Gödör Klub

We will be meeting this Thursday at 8:00 pm at Gödör Klub

There will be live music though I am not sure if it is inside or out. Drinks are normal BP prices and there is a very good outdoor environment.

On On

Click baby Bursting Bladder if you are still lost.

Unprecedented

Frustrated Frog has let the hash down 2 weeks in a row by not submitting HASH TRASH!!!! WTF?

July 8th - Hash #855 Baldrick/Hulk's Live Hash

June 24th - Hash #853 with F. Abraham

Hare: Rabies (rábisz)

They were not economic with the truth on our website where it states, and I quote, "even the most hung-over hasher can find the meeting point." And so with a somewhat delicate start (for some), BPH3 convened alongside the Duna at 11h30.

The temperature 32C, pressure 1010 hectopacals, and humidity 33% for those who care.

After mismanaging the pre-run/walk/moan (delete as applicable) and a HashFlash, IncredibleHulk, StAnus, WetBlanket and LT made haste for a supermarket. Naturally, warm sodas and water were readily available. It might have been a hash crime if the beers were warm too.

The rest of the pack 'took' (and I use this term loosely) public transport to point "A" – where we would, many hours later, finish our run.

Rabies called for the circle, described honestly (as all hashers do) the run; around his block, nice and flat, lots of flour. As we all know, and now love, Rabies was being a true hasher in his description.

We set off for the hills! Bemusing almost every Sunday-stroller with our calls of "on-on," "are-you" and the like. Past trees, Pest views, steps, stones and watering holes, we ran, walked, talked and had a good time. NFG Thomas and LT lost their way somewhere en-route but thanks to StAnus, were picked up and shown the way home. Rabies' excuse was that we were damn slow! A certain degree of relativity might be required.

Eventually the pack ascended the flat hill (backwards if you prefer running downhill) and met for Circle; although we did lose a few blankets that were wet.

Incredible Hulk was RA and led the circle in true hashing style. This called for down-downs, of which there were plenty! Our best offender this week goes to our very own Rabies (who felt the urge to leave early last week for singing). Ironic, because was it not Rabies who introduced a new one-only down-down policy recently? He did not suffer alone, alas, his fellow countrymen (and country ladies) consumed their beverages too.

NFG Thomas escaped unnamed for yet another week whilst NFG Paresh intends to escape the country soon.

June 17th - Hash #852 Normafa (‘No more flour’) again!!

Hares: NFG Paresh with StAnus

‘9.8 km as the crow flies (if it was lost and flying in a circular route instead of a straight line), and 1hr 36 minutes to do the run’, said Incredible Hulk to the rather bemused 5 hashers sitting in a cafe in Normafa. He was looking at his rather sophisticated wrist chronograph / GPS device, which he wears in case he should get lost.

‘So your estimate of 5 km plus or minus 5 km’ was spot on!’ he said to NFG Paresh, who set the trail the day before with the help of StAnus.

It was a hot Sunday morning when 12 hashers gathered at the usual meeting place in Batthyany Ter, and were joined by a late comer, Rabies, who just arrived in his car as the pack were setting off to start the run / walk in Normafa. The same Rabies who left early after the run thus avoiding the circle and down-downs he was sure to get, and despite all that and to add insult to injury he in fact succeeded in making sure NFG Paresh did get a down-down for laying the rather less than adequately marked trail. NFG Paresh maintains to this date that the trail was well marked and that it was only challenging because the sunlight shining through the trees was very good at camouflaging the flour. Besides the runners should stop moaning and get on with the job in hand!

And so the eventful day began with about 5 cars transporting the pack to the site, not before one hasher, 10 Minutes Late, decided to follow another car, not part of the pack, on to their home before realising he was following the wrong car. Just how he managed to do so is still beyond comprehension, as the car he was supposed to follow, occupied by Smokey Donkey and NFG Paresh, was a totally different make and model which he had been waiting behind for quite some time before they set off. So after some frantic phone calls to Run By Battery, he was guided back to the correct destination! Funnily he escaped a down-down for keeping the pack waiting.

On the way up, Smokey Donkey decided that they needed to buy some water as Run By Battery had failed to do so, for which she was gracious enough to accept a down-down. NFG Paresh and Smokey Donkey stopped at a ‘Match’ and quickly bought 16 bottles of cold water. Just as they were getting back to the car NFG Paresh looked at the receipt and noticed that they had just paid for 24 bottles. So a quick return back to the shop, and some words were exchanged in Hungarian. The tiller was apologetic as a queue of other shoppers was gathering for her attention, but it was agreed that rather than get money back as this would have completely confused the poor girl and cause a much larger queue to develop, they should collect another 8 bottles of water, which they did and were on their way. Smokey Donkey ignored the very large diversion sign and just as soon realised his mistake so did a quick U-turn to get back on the right road. Was this becoming a sign of things to come?

The pack gathered at the starting point and was briefed by NFG Paresh, who accepted full responsibility for setting the course, but warned that that was the first course he had set, and reminded everyone that his accomplice mentor had been StAnus. He also rather fortuitously observed that this was a pack of 13, unlucky for some. The pack included three new comers/Virgins; a Financial Controller from New York, a Wizzair pilot from UK, now living in Budapest, and a Wind Energy expert from USA, hoping to build wind farms in Hungary. In their wisdom / ignorance they decided to run the course.

Straight away there was a false trail, as six set off to run, and seven walk the course. There were to be no pit stops along the way.

The course was broadly a round route which started at the car park in Normafa, headed North West towards and past the Viragvology Station and then cut across the woods South West to Makkosmaria. It continued on roughly South from there for some 1-2 km before cutting across East to Csilleberc, and then along the Konkoly Thege Miklos ut., back to Normafa. There was a view point along the way.

As one of the runners NFG Paresh let slip at the view point that they had covered about two thirds of the course, but the last third was regrettably uphill all the way. He would have liked to say ‘It’s all downhill from here’. He kind of guessed that the mood of the runners was perhaps not the most enthusiastic he had ever encountered. So it was a good excuse to rest a while and rather optimistically hope that the walkers would soon catch up with them! At this point Incredible Hulk’s horn was mentioned, as they wondered whether Haggis would be with the walkers. NFG Paresh had thought that the walkers also had a horn as he could have sworn he heard it a few times. It was pointed out to him that that was the children’s railway. NFG Paresh had a vision of 10 Minutes Late running after the children’s railway. Meanwhile, Rabies was remarkably still so full of energy that he had started to climb the vertical face of the view point. He said he wanted to see if he could spot the next bit of flour on the trail from above. NFG Paresh then offered to catch Rabies if he jumped off the top of the view point, but Rabies didn’t take up the offer.

The last stretch of the course was uneventful, but it was great to see the Normafa car park. The six headed for the cafe there and discussed the course. Another half an hour later or thereabouts, the walkers arrived. As they all prepared for the circle, Run By Battery cried out that she could not find her phone! NFG Paresh and 10 Minutes Late both rang her number but no sound of a ringing phone. Incredibly, French Made and Run By Battery decided to go look for the phone by re-tracing the course!(Which somehow the trunk of her car)

Even more incredibly, they were both back in about ten minutes having found her phone almost at the starting point of the course. How fortunate. (Some nice soul had found her phone and would return it later in the day)

And so the insults, penalties, moans and groans were vented in the circle. Strangely no down-downs for no-hash gear. Some hashers had a close escape. NFG Thomas (French) had quickly made his escape as soon as he had finished the course on some excuse of a prior engagement. So he and Rabies probably need to catch up. Rabies did get voted on setting the next course, and NFG Paresh got bullied into being the scribe despite protestations that the trail blazer could not be expected to write about the same trail…..

As is customary this was followed by Lunch, which was held at Szechenyi Hegy, and a good time was had by all.

It may have escaped most peoples notice but the walkers were not glowing as much as the runners. This suggests that they took a short cut back to the start, because if they hadn’t they would have walked past the nuclear facility that the runners went past on the last part of the course. A heavily fortified compound with watch towers and barbed wire, probably designed to keep the employees in.....Did NFG Paresh imagine a number of people running past them very fast on that last stretch? Perhaps the excessive dose of radiation and the heat may explain away the events of the day.

On On

NFG Paresh

Hulk's Photos

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Hares: NFG Paresh with StAnus

Hashers: NFG Paresh, St Anus, Smokey Donkey, NFG Thomas (French), French Made, Rabies, Incredible Hulk, H'agi's, 10 Minutes Late, Run By Battery, Leaking Twat (John), and NFGs Thomas and Andrea